Tag: purpose

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Secret to Making Others Feel Special 

What is the single greatest way to make someone feel special? Reflect on your interactions. What makes you feel special? What makes your interactions the best they can be? 

For context, with the internet, constant access to wifi and cellular, email, text, and social media, we’re always connected. Yet in today’s world, it seems we’ve never been more isolated. With being so tied to our screens, the art and act of interpersonal communication, one person intimately talking to another, has diminished. My kids are 33, 30, and 27. While incredibly true for their generation and those younger, I think that it’s something that has afflicted almost all of us, no matter our age. 

G.K. Chesterton, in his book St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Francis of Assisi, wrote about St. Francis, “what gave him his extraordinary personal power was this; that from the Pope to the beggar, from the sultan of Syria in his pavilion to the ragged robbers crawling out of the wood, there was never a man who looked into those brown burning eyes without being certain that Francis Bernardone was really interested in him; in his own inner individual life from the cradle to the grave; that he himself was being valued and taken seriously, and not merely added to the spoils of some social policy or the names in some social clerical document”. 

I work at Franciscan University of Steubenville, where our Patron Saint is St. Francis of Assisi. I know of St. Francis for many things, probably most notably him hearing from our Lord, “Go Rebuild My Church”. G.K. Chesterton’s remarks above speak to God’s call on Francis’ life. It’s investing in others, truly connecting with them, that makes the difference. The way we build anything, including organization of people, is one person at a time…one soul at a time. 

My Personal Example 

My Dad, who we lost two years ago next month, had this same gift. He had a compassion and and confidence, especially in others. People felt special when with him; they felt safe. He was other focused, deeply caring about them individually. When you had a conversation with my Dad, you had his full attention. He was locked in on you. This is challenging for many. I’m guilty of not always paying attention, but not him. He made you feel important, valued, and understood. He made you see yourself through his eyes and he saw you with infinite possibility. 

I don’t mean to equate my Dad to St. Francis of Assisi. I sense that like me, canonization isn’t in his future. That said, he had the same gift as St. Francis when it came to his interpersonal interactions. My Mother, Brothers, and I benefited from it…there’s nothing like it. 

Here’s my suggestion to all of us (I’m talking to myself here as much if not more so than you). When talking to someone, anyone, really, really concentrate on them. Zero in. Know the color of their eyes and let them see yours’. Remove the distractions and make them the center of your attention. Really invest. Actively listen (a lost art). Show compassion, truly care. LOVE them!!!

Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. We live in a lonely world, where although very connected, many (maybe most) are isolated. Jesus instructed us to love God, love our neighbors, and share our faith. Be intentional. One on one…let’s get it done. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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COVID and Church Doctrine

The only thing that may be more divisive in our country today than politics is the COVID vaccine. Many disagree on the issue, including me and who I refer to as my creative genius, Mary Kate, who manages Mark Joseph Ministries’ communications. Although not the point of this blog, we can disagree without being disagreeable. It is possible and I would argue a good thing. In doing so, our country would be a better place and we would have more peace in our lives.   

Related to the title of this blog, some background is required. In addition to those I’ve heard about in the news, I now personally know two people who face termination from their employment if they’re not vaccinated. One works 100% remotely, which would seem to pose no risk to a safe work environment. Both Catholic, they’ve looked to their faith, our Church, for support in the form of a religious exemption, which is stated as being valid by the organizations forcing vaccinations. 

In doing an internet search, there are at least 10 Bishops who have issued instructions to their clergy, mandating they not assist the faithful in any efforts to claim religious exemption. Add to that many Bishops mandating vaccination for all Diocesan employees. Interesting view by Church leadership, as you’ll see below. 

You may have been vaccinated. I fully support whatever decision you make for yourself on this issue, given your free will and conscience (the point of this blog), which was given to you by God. That said, points that might contribute to people’s hesitation are worth considering, whether you agree with them or not: 

  • Vaccines typically take 8-10 years to develop, test, and be approved by the FDA. The 3 COVID vaccines on the market began being used on a wide basis in less than a year, with FDA approval granted months after initial use. 
  • Messenger RNA, the key component in 2 of 3 of the vaccines, has never been put into the human body before. 
  • There are numerous examples of severe side effects from the vaccine, namely blood clots and associated disorders, inflammation of the heart, including in teenagers, life threatening allergic reactions, Bell’s Palsy, miscarriages, and premature births. 
  • Given the short timeframe of the trials, less than a year vs. 8-10 as stated above, we have no idea what the long-term impacts are of these vaccines. 
  • The swine flu vaccine was stopped in 1976 by the US Government when fatalities from the shot hit 53. The government’s Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) indicates there have been 6,128 deaths in the US due to the COVID vaccines. The number is double that worldwide. 
  • There are treatments (not vaccines) that have been proven to be effective in curing patients of COVID, specifically hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin, and monoclonal antibody therapy, along with Vitamins C, D, and zinc. 
  • It’s widely known that those who risk severe sickness or death are the elderly and those with comorbidities. We also know that our youth rarely get COVID and if they do their symptoms are mild unless they have comorbidities. So, what is the rationale for 100% vaccination? 
  • When COVID broke, the issues were deaths, ventilators, and hospital beds, none of which have spiked with the uptick in cases and the delta variant.
  • The government’s (and big tech and big business and others) insistence on all people being vaccinated negates whether they’ve had COVID, therefore having the antibodies which are recognized as being better protection than the vaccine. They’re being forced to be vaccinated anyhow.
  • On May 1st, the CDC decided to stop tracking break through cases (already vaccinated), but instead only cases from the fully vaccinated that result in hospitalization or death, leaving health officials without full data. 
  • If vaccines work, why the masks for those vaccinated? If vaccines work, why would those vaccinated care if others aren’t vaccinated?   

You may think the above is pertinent or not. You may be vaccinated or not. Again, I respect your decision. That said, I think we can all agree that the above list could give pause to at least some, which leads to the following. 

Specific to Church doctrine (the point of this blog), you’ve read before where I’ve stated that all the answers to life can be found in Scripture and from the teachings of the Church. As it turns out, the Church speaks to the above issue in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC): 

  • Our identity in Christ, made in the image and likeness of God
    • CCC Paragraph 1700 – The dignity of the human person is rooted in his creation in the image and likeness of God; it is fulfilled in his vocation to divine beatitude. It is essential to a human being freely to direct himself to this fulfillment. By his deliberate actions, the human person does, or does not, conform to the good promised by God and attested by moral conscience. Human beings make their own contribution to their interior growth; they make their whole sentient and spiritual lives into means of this growth. With the help of grace they grow in virtue, avoid sin, and if they sin they entrust themselves as did the prodigal son to the mercy of our Father in heaven. In this way they attain to the perfection of charity.
  • Our judgement, given moral conscience 
    • CCC Paragraph 1776 – “Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment. . . . For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God. . . . His conscience is man’s most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths.”
    • CCC Paragraph 1782 – Man has the right to act in conscience and in freedom so as personally to make moral decisions. “He must not be forced to act contrary to his conscience. Nor must he be prevented from acting according to his conscience, especially in religious matters.”

If interested in the above, including how it relates to real life issues, I suggest reading the Catechism, Paragraphs 1700 – 1802. Understand, I’m not a theologian, but as supported by the Catechism (and other sources, including Scripture and other Church teaching), we know that:

  • We are made in the image and likeness of God,
  • With a free will and a conscience,
  • Which God calls us to exercise. 

As such, I’m not sure why some of our Bishops are hesitant to have Clergy assist with religious exemptions; or why some would be forcing vaccinations on all Diocesan employees when arguably at least some are resisting due to matters of conscience. Lastly, in the name of social justice, what about the impact of forced vaccinations on those in most need in our society? 

This is tough stuff, and we live in a challenging world. There’s always going to be an interplay between politics, culture, and faith. That said, we know the impact of the life changing message of Jesus Christ. With our dramatically declining numbers, it’s my prayer that all Christians be intentional about rebuilding our Church, genuinely sharing the love (and truth) of Christ both to those in our pews and outside our Church walls. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

 

Mark Joseph

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A Great Quote from Mr. Rogers

Who among us grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood? I know many of my readers are from the Pittsburgh area, home of Fred Rogers. Even if you didn’t watch his show, which included Chef Brockett and Mr. McFeely, aka Speedy Delivery, most of us knew of him. Mr. Rogers was the creator of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, which ran from 1968 to 2001, as well as the host of all 895 episodes, the composer of its more than 200 songs, and the puppeteer who imagined 14 characters into being. Mr. Rogers was an icon who changed children’s television. 

Related to my source for the Mr. Rogers quote, I have a friend named Ed Blank, who spent 39 years as a drama and movie critic for the Pittsburgh newspapers and television stations. A Vietnam vet, I had lunch with Ed a few weeks ago. Now retired, the stories he told were absolutely enticing and included names like John Wayne, Johnny Cash, Carol Brunette, Burt Reynolds, and many more. I can’t wait to be with Ed again. 

During our lunch, Ed told me a story about Fred Rogers, who became a friend of his. He had overheard Fred say to someone, “remember, there is no such thing as a conflict-free life”. Ed later related that story back to Fred, who had no recollection of it. That didn’t mean it didn’t continue to have an impact on Ed, as it did me.  

“There is no such thing as a conflict-free life”. With the exception of “God loves you unconditionally”, there may not be a truer statement. Conflict can be national or international, like what’s going on in Afghanistan right now…an absolute and arguably avoidable mess. 

Most of the conflict we experience is more personal than global, taking place at home or work, with those we typically interact with most often. Like all other issues in life, the answer is in Scripture or taught by the Church. Related to how we are to handle conflict, check out Matthew 18:15-17. Added to what St. Matthew indicates, I would offer the following points. 

 

There is no such thing as a conflict-free life 

Consistent with Mr. Rogers as quoted by Ed, there is no such thing as a conflict-free life. If that’s your expectation, then you’re in for a hard time. Conflict is a part of life. We’d all do ourselves a favor in learning how to handle it. 

 

Although not all conflict is avoidable, much of it is

By establishing ground rules or expectations up front, so as to make sure there are no misunderstandings after the fact, can go a significant way in minimizing or eliminating conflict. Although not always possible or practical, I like to have things in writing. 

 

Conflict doesn’t have to be confrontational

Many people run from conflict because they think it automatically means confrontation. That is not true. Conflict done the right way is healthy. You could argue that you wouldn’t grow or become a better person without conflict. 

 

Attack the problem, not the person

Be empathetic. Nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care. You can’t be self-righteous and on-the-attack and expect a good outcome. Instead, be invested in resolution and agreement as opposed to being right. Two sayings that come to mind:

  • Hate the sin, not the sinner 
  • Love your neighbor as your self 

 

You can say anything to anyone, as long as you say it softly

Tone is so important. An elevated voice (or perception of one) makes people feel like they’re being attacked. No one responds well to that. Speak softly. Smile. Both go a long way. 

 

Communicate often and early

People don’t like to be surprised. Most are creatures of habit. Most people are planners, albeit sometimes only subconsciously. They don’t like to be left in the dark. They much prefer forewarning. Give people as much advance notice as possible and don’t be surprised by last minute things creating conflict.  

 

Identify to the other person your struggle with the situation

You may say something like, “You know, I’m not very comfortable bringing this topic up to you. The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings or bring conflict between us. The truth is though, you’ve hurt my feelings. I’d love for you to help me talk through this. I’d like to understand what you really meant, in addition to sharing with you how I perceived it. I’m hopeful that we can resolve any issues between us. Are you willing to work through this with me?”

 

Do the above with those closest to you as well

Oftentimes with family (and very close friends), we fear conflict the most. I think that’s because we fear the risk of loss. We also have expectations and often unspoken agendas for those in our inner circle. As such, with emotion we react instead of respond. The suggestions above all work and arguably are most important for those so important to us. 

 

Thank you, Ed, for the story that prompted this blog. By extension, thank you to Mr. Rogers. Both men have stories steeped in life lessons for us.  

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What’s Your Favorite Prayer?

Last week’s blog was titled, “The Gift of Our Faith”. To realize and maximize that gift, we need to be in relationship with God our Father and Jesus Christ His Son, while calling on the Holy Spirit, who lives within each of us. Prayer is critical to that relationship, in its many forms. 

Do you have a favorite prayer or prayers? How is it that you pray? Rote prayer, reading and praying through Scripture, meditative or contemplative prayer? The Catholic Church offers many prayers for us, including the Mass, Rosary, and Divine Mercy Chaplet. A simple internet search will take you to an exhaustive list of Catholic prayers. 

Yet most people I know, including those actively engaged in our faith, will tell you that they struggle with prayer. I do too. Why is that? I assume your experience is the same as mine…that is that anything you get really good at takes work. It takes dedicated effort. God wants nothing more than us to be in relationship with Him. Given the free will He has provided us, God leaves it up to us. Just like our earthly relationships, where we have challenges, we’re challenged in prayer. Keep at it. It’s what God desires and it’s good for us…just ask anyone who prays regularly. 

My favorite prayers are the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, long form of the Serenity Prayer, and a prayer I wrote in 2009, which I call Thank you God; Thank you Jesus!!! For each, I say them incredibly slowly, praying through and hanging on every word. They are my “go to” prayers. I say them daily without fail. 

In reviewing all the blogs I’ve posted over the last 3 ½ years, I’ve done others on prayer, whether it be different types, processes, methods, etc. I hesitated to do so again here, but my wife reminded me that redundancy is good…and that we can all be reminded more about prayer. 

Believe me, I’m far from perfect at prayer. I struggle with it. But the reality is that the more I pray, the more peace I have. The more “right” direction I have to my life. The sin of pride, which I’m a pro at, is less of an issue. So is envy and the many others. I’m a better person when I pray more. 

The mistake people make with prayer is the same mistake many make in other aspects of their lives…”they bite off more than they can chew”. They start too fast, expecting too much. Like with anything else, the more we know about our faith (about prayer), the more we find there is to learn. It is not a race, but a journey. Take it slowly. Five minutes a day to start. Reading a little bit of Scripture and then reflecting on it. Saying a couple rote prayers. Sitting in silence with our Lord, listening for His voice in your life.  

I hope this blog prompted you to think (and pray). Maybe you’re a prayer warrior and the above doesn’t apply. If so, maybe you can share some of these ideas with others. Or maybe it does, and you can add to whatever you’re doing.  If you’d like a special copy on my prayer (noted above), please let us know. In addition, should you desire, we can provide you with a tool we created called, “Simple Process for Prayer”. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph