Weekly Blog

Why You Beat Yourself Up

Last week, we talked about conditional love. My lived experience is that it creates in us a lack of self-love. In believing that we only receive love if we perform well and to the satisfaction of others, we don’t love or believe in ourselves when we don’t perform well. Not loving self then creates fear (next week’s subject), which prevents us from trying and doing things, using our God given talents, meeting our full potential.  

We believe that we have to perform well to be loved. Stated another way, we fear that if we don’t perform well, we won’t be loved. And at a fundamental level, we all want to be loved; we all want to be accepted. 

Related to lack of self-love, consider this – you do really well at something, then hearing ten compliments and one criticism. What is it you remember and concentrate on long after the occurrence? If you’re like most, it’s the criticism. You see flaws in yourself that you don’t see in others. We judge ourselves much more harshly than others. All of this is a result of lack of self-love, born of conditional love. 

Same Was True for Me

My lack of self-love resulted in me beating myself up on a regular basis. From the outside, I was this confident guy, who had it all together…nice family, good business, nice things, but I was crumbling inside. It was real….I had no peace or joy in my life. I was on that hamster wheel, exhausted, deflated, and frustrated. I was overwhelmed. 

We can beat ourselves up over past sins and past decisions, big or small. Both have been an issue for me. Taking the latter as an example, I remember making a business decision with significant financial impact. It turned out to be the wrong decision, with a dramatic negative result. I carried that burden with me for an incredibly long time, beating the “crap” out of myself regularly, i.e., daily, hourly. I couldn’t let it go. According to my therapist, referenced again below, it was stealing the energy from me to live a happy and fulfilled life. 

It Happens to All of Us

When writing my book, I wanted to vet the concepts. As such, I reached out to the Christian therapist who helped me so much on my journey….more on that later in this blog series. I said to her something like, “70-75% of people suffer from lack of self-love…right?” She scoffed at me, laughing. I’ll never forget it. I said, “what do you mean?” She then said, “try 95%+”. She then explained that based on her experience and research, that lack of self-love easily afflicts more than 95% of us”. Wow!!!

Here’s the Truth of the Situation 

Those closest to you, who truly love you, family and friends, could care less how you perform. They’re going to love you anyhow. And God loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done. He sent His only begotten Son to die on the Cross for your sins, dare I say your faults and failings. 

Life is messy, as we’ve discussed in this series so far. The mess is going to continue as we further unpack things over the next several weeks…before we get to the good stuff…the path to peace, joy, and fulfillment. Stay tuned. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

Weekly Blog

We’re All Overwhelmed

Can you identify with the hamster on the wheel in the glass cage, watching the world go by around you? Take me for example…for the longest time, I was trying to make that wheel go faster and faster. I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t find a way to jump off the wheel. Didn’t know if anyone saw me on the wheel. If anyone else was on the wheel with me. If anyone would catch me if I fell off the wheel. I couldn’t keep up; I was massively stressed, exhausted, frustrated, and deflated. I was overwhelmed. 

We’re all overwhelmed. Here’s what I also figured out…I was just as overwhelmed when things seemed to be going well as when things turned bad.

An example of the good times – for over 10 years, I worked every Sunday, 7AM-Noon, meeting my family for 12:30 Mass, believing I wasn’t missing any family time. I was crazy. I used to travel 2-3 days per week. When in town, I’d work from 6-8AM at my desk at the house, then taking the kids to school. I would race to the office for a frenetic pace of meetings and phone calls, working through lunch, going home late afternoon/early evening. 

I would eat dinner on the run, running the kids to their practices and events. I coached many of their sports, so I’d often be on the field with them. I’ve always been an exercise enthusiast, so I always got in my exercise, typically late at night (lots of sleep deprivation). I had business meetings some nights, other meetings other nights; we had a social life. There was always too much to do and not enough time to do it. I was overwhelmed, but because I thought I was in control I didn’t notice. In fact, I was energized by it…I was important because I was busy (so I thought). 

Then there are the bad times, where we have relationship issues, challenges (i.e., COVID), and experience the busyness of everyday life. We’re stressed, frustrated, deflated, exhausted, and very aware that we’re overwhelmed. 

We have the Internet, wifi, social media, smart devices – not only do things move much faster, but there is no way to disconnect; we have no downtime. In the background we’re concerned about our careers, our compensation, needs of our families, college, retirement, paying for houses, cars, vacations, etc., whatever allows us to keep up or get ahead. 

I’d suggest that it afflicts everyone…whether you’re in high school or college, newly graduated, just starting out, advanced in your career or retired; single, married, empty nester or house full of kids, young, old, wildly successful or not. And most believe that once they reach that pinnacle of success, what society says will make them happy, that everything will be good. Believe it or not, just the opposite is true; it often intensifies. 

Does at least some of the above apply to you? You aren’t alone. Join me next week, when we begin to unpack why we’re overwhelmed. Be assured…there’s an answer to this dilemma, how we live lives of peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

Weekly Blog

Mark’s Favorite Quotes (pt. 2)

This week is a continuation of the quotes I have saved on my phone and would like to share for reflection.

“Bringing happiness to others increases your chances of being happy while seeking happiness for yourself decreases those chances”. 

Matthew Kelly

“There is no use in walking anywhere to preach if your walking isn’t your preaching”. 

St. Francis of Assisi 

“If you are humble, nothing will touch you. Neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are”.  

St. Teresa of Calcutta 

“Don’t worry about changing the world. Allow God to change you”. 

Fr. Dave Pivonka, TOR

“Hope is not merely a wish that something good might happen…it is the firm confidence and desire that the promises of God will be fulfilled”. 

Sr. Miriam James Heidland 

“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts”. 

Winston Churchill

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us”. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson 

“You cannot become more like Jesus Christ and at the same time stay as you are”. 

Matthew Kelly

“Pray as though everything depends on God. Work as though everything depends on you”. 

St. Augustine 

“The fruit of silence is prayer. The fruit of prayer if faith. The fruit of faith is love. The fruit of love is service”. 

St. Teresa of Calcutta 


The following all have unknown Authors  

“Knowing the Bible is one thing; knowing its Author is another”.

“God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling”. 

“I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know prayer changes us and we change things”. 


“Heavenly Father, into Your hands, I place my worries, cares, and troubles. Into Your wisdom, I place my path, my direction, and my goal. Into Your love, I place my life”. 


Ten Ways to Love (author unknown)

Listen without interrupting (Proverbs 18)

Speak without accusing (James 1:19)

Give without sparing (Proverbs 21:26)

Pray without ceasing (Colossians 1:9)

Answer without arguing (Proverbs 17:1)

Share without pretending (Ephesians 4:15)

Enjoy without complaint (Philippians 2:14)

Trust without wavering (Corinthians 13:7)

Forgive without punishing (Colossians 3:13)

Promise without forgetting (Proverbs 13:12)


Student asks, “Dear God, why do You allow so much violence in our schools?”

God responds, “Dear Concerned Student, I’m not allowed in schools”. 


“Coffee is proof of God’s existence”. 


“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain”. 


Feel free to email me back with your favorite quote(s).

As always, please feel free to contact me at with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!


Mark Joseph


Weekly Blog

Leadership is Critical…Some Helpful Tips

Have you ever noticed how a change in leadership can immediately change things…for better or worse? Although examples exist in other places, it’s often most stark in the world of sports. Remembering back 40 years (this year), having won our high school football championship two years in a row, upon my graduation and the resignation of our head coach, a new one was hired for my brother’s senior year. With a comparably talented pool of players, the results didn’t come close.

Why is that? You often times see it in the opposite direction, where a head coach comes in and takes a team that has been struggling, and hardly changing personnel, then excels. As I stated in my August 5, 2020 blog, Great Leadership Doesn’t Just Happen, “It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about a large corporation or small business, the federal government or a family, a not-for-profit, including a University or a Church, or any small group, inside an organization or otherwise. A dynamic, thriving organization always has a great leader. You can count on it”.

In part #2 of that series, I indicated the changes in me that took place, all rooted in my spiritual journey, that have made me the leader I am. In this post, I thought I’d provide some practical tips to leadership. I saw a presentation years ago, where leadership was pointed to as the following acronym:

  • Lead by Example
  • Educate
  • Attitude
  • Discipline
  • Empowerment
  • Receive and Respect Input
  • Sacrifice
  • Humility
  • Initiative
  • Plan, Prepare, Practice 

There’s a lot of truth here, all good things to keep in mind. I’m intentionally not including a lot of commentary on the above or what follows. Please think/pray through it. 

I also strongly believe that our journey as leaders starts from within. It’s based on:

  • Our identity in Christ – understanding and internalizing His unconditional love and forgiveness
  • Personal prayer life – we have to be in relationship with our Savior – spiritually and practically 
  • Honesty, Integrity, Transparency, Accountability – all based on our character (our identity in Christ)

The following are the things I’ve lived by as I’ve grown in supporting my team(s) as a leader:  

  • Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care
  • Love them, love them, love them
  • Affirm, affirm, affirm
  • Be invested in helping them be their very best professionally and personally 
  • Always be willing to do what you ask of others
  • Celebrate successes – individually and collectively
    • Personally
    • In writing
  • They need to know you have their back 
  • Collaboration is critical…people need to be part of developing the solution
  • People don’t need to be agreed with; they always need to be heard
  • Address challenging issues quickly and charitably
  • You can say anything as long as you say it softly
  • If struggling with addressing an issue, identify it and use it 
  • Always over-communicate, especially vision and plans
  • Don’t be distracted in your personal communication; zero in on person in front of you
  • No favorites – hold everyone to same standards; morale suffers otherwise

As always, please feel free to contact me at with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph