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Why Do You Second Guess Yourself? 

Why are you unsure of some of your decision? You second guess yourself. You sometimes even beat yourself up over a decision. Why? What’s up with that? 

There are two reasons why the above occurs. One is from our past. While that may imply that there’s nothing to do about it, that’s not the case. The other we can have control over as soon as today. 

The first, first. Not sure if you’re aware of it, but you most probably experienced conditional love when growing up. If you’re like most, you grew to believe that you have to earn the love of others. I like to say, “the more or better you perform, the more love you perceive that you receive”. Make sense? Can you think of an example in your life?

Although I know it occurred throughout my youth and adolescent years, it was really punctuated my senior year of high school, when I played football for our championship team. I can’t imagine how players feel on the collegian or pro level, given my experience as a 17-yearold. My fellow players and me were made to feel like gods…being celebrated on and off the field, individually and collectively. That senior year, I really internalized this…the more praise I got, the more I felt loved. Think about it in your own life. It’s:

  • Not done intentionally
  • Not done with malice
  • Just what happens

My brothers and I couldn’t have had a better upbringing. Yet I walked away from my youth believing for me to be loved and accepted, I needed to perform, to win.

The reality is that we all want to be loved…we want to be accepted. That being the case, as indicated above, we act in ways such that people will affirm us. That includes our decisions. If we don’t receive that affirmation, we second guess ourselves. We may even beat ourselves up. Unfortunately, there’s not the space here to understand how to overcome this. As such, we’d suggest you watch the free webinar we’ll be doing next month. There you’ll get the answer. Promise. More info to follow. 

The second reason why we second guess ourselves is in how we arrive at decisions. I’d suggest that taking such things to prayer changes everything. What? How? Here you go. Try this. It works. 

  • Identify to God whatever is on your heart that day…whatever the issue you’re dealing with or decision you need to make. It could be a current or long-term challenge. It’s your choice. God is interested in whatever you bring to Him. 
  • Detail the situation to God. What is the challenge or opportunity? What are your ideas to address or resolve it? What do you see as the pros and cons to your ideas? Talk through every aspect of the situation with God. 
  • Then just sit in silence, listening for the voice of God to speak to your heart. Be patient. Wait on Him. See what comes to you.
  • Journal as much of the above as you would like, especially how you believe God is speaking to you. 

You want to be sure of your decisions? Take your issues to prayer. Talk to our Lord about them. 

As always, please contact me at [email protected] with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

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Weekly Blog

Christian Considerations for Voting

Be clear, I will not share with you how I’m going to vote, nor tell you how you should vote. That is a point of conscious for all of us individually. 

As indicated in my September 9th blog, although I have very strong political views, those that I believe are consistent with my faith, I’ve never published a single word on politics. I’ve never expressed my political views or affiliation on this platform…because I’ve not wanted politics to get in the way of what I consider to be an incredibly important message…that is the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.

Not changing my approach, I’ve tackled some tough issues over the last several weeks. On September 9th, I wrote about the importance of integrity, given the current climate in our country. On September 23rd, I addressed our call to act in the face of so many challenges. Today I feel called to identify the things that Christians are to consider in determining how to cast their votes. Again, I’m not telling you how to vote. 

Given my Catholic faith, I’m going to reference what has been provided by the Bishops of the Catholic Church, published by the United Stated Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). Knowing what I do about the faith of my non-Catholic Christian brothers and sisters, I believe what is below will speak to all of us.

In “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship – Applying Catholic Teaching to Major Issues: A Summary of Policy Positions of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops”, the Catholic Bishops point to the following as what the faithful need to consider in determining how to vote. For practical purposes, I am paraphrasing much of the content. The material in its entirety can be found here.

This blog is literally three times as long as usual. As such, I’m going to provide brief summary points for each in red. If you’re so inclined, I’d encourage you to read as much as you can or at least skim each.

Photo by Snapwire from Pexels

Human Lifeall human life, from the unborn to the elderly, is to be protected. Abortion and euthanasia have become preeminent threats to human life and dignity because they directly attack life itself, the most fundamental good and the condition for all others. Cloning and destruction of human embryos, assisted suicide and euthanasia, the death penalty, genocide, torture, and the direct and intentional targeting of noncombatants in war or terrorist attacks are always wrong.

Promoting PeaceCatholics must work to avoid war and promote peace. This is of particular importance, as there is a danger in the present time of becoming indifferent to war because of the number of armed conflicts. War is never a reflection of what ought to be but a sign that something more true to human dignity has failed. The Catholic tradition recognizes the legitimacy of just war teaching when defending the innocent in the face of grave evil, but we must never lose sight of the cost of war and its harm to human life. Nations should protect the dignity of the human person and the right to life by finding more effective ways to prevent conflicts, to resolve them by peaceful means, and to promote reconstruction and reconciliation in the wake of conflicts.

Marriage and Family LifeMarriage is to be between one man and one woman; the family structure is fundamental to society and is to be protected. The family founded upon marriage is the basic cell of human society. The role, responsibilities, and needs of families should be central national priorities. Marriage must be defined, recognized, and protected as a lifelong exclusive commitment between a man and a woman, and as the source of the next generation and the protective haven for children. Policies on taxes, work, divorce, immigration, and welfare should uphold the God-given meaning and value of marriage and family, help families stay together, and reward responsibility and sacrifice for children. Children, in particular, are to be valued, protected, and nurtured.

Religious FreedomUS policy should promote religious liberty vigorously, both at home and abroad: our first and most cherished freedom is rooted in the very dignity of the human person, a fundamental human right that knows no geographical boundaries. In the US, religious freedom generally enjoys strong protection in our law and culture, but those protections are now in doubt, i.e. the longstanding tax exemption of the Church has been explicitly called into question at the highest levels of government, precisely because of her teachings on marriage.

Preferential Option for the Poor and Economic Justice Welfare policy should address both the economic and cultural factors that contribute to family breakdown. Economic decisions and institutions should be assessed according to whether they protect or undermine the dignity of the human person. Social and economic policies should foster the creation of jobs for all who can work with decent working conditions and just wages. Barriers to equal pay and employment for women and those facing unjust discrimination must be overcome. Welfare policy should reduce poverty and dependency, strengthen family life, and help families leave poverty through work, training, and assistance with childcare, health care, housing, and transportation. It should also provide a safety net for those who cannot work.

Health CareAffordable and accessible health care is an essential safeguard of human life and a fundamental human right. Despite an increase in the number of people insured, millions of Americans still lack health care coverage. Health care coverage remains an urgent national priority. The nation’s health care system needs to be rooted in values that respect human dignity, protect human life, respect the principle of subsidiarity, and meet the needs of the poor and uninsured, especially born and unborn children, pregnant women, immigrants, and other vulnerable populations. Employers, including religious groups and family-owned businesses, should be able to provide health care without compromising their moral or religious convictions, and individuals should be able to purchase health care that accords with their faith.

ImmigrationRecognizing a nation’s right to control its borders and maintain the rule of law, immigrants are to be treated fairly and compassionately. The Gospel mandate to “welcome the stranger” requires Catholics to care for and stand with newcomers, authorized and unauthorized, including unaccompanied immigrant children, refugees and asylum-seekers, those unnecessarily detained, and victims of human trafficking. Comprehensive reform is urgently necessary to fix a broken immigration system and should include a broad and fair legalization program with a path to citizenship; a work program with worker protections and just wages; family reunification policies; access to legal protections, which include due process procedures; refuge for those fleeing persecution and violence; and policies to address the root causes of migration.

Catholic Education Parents, the first and most important educators, have a fundamental right to choose the education best suited to the needs of their children, including public, private, and religious schools. Government, through such means as tax credits and publicly funded scholarships, should help provide resources for parents, especially those of modest means, to exercise this basic right without discrimination. Students in all educational settings should have opportunities for moral and character formation consistent with the beliefs and responsibilities of their parents. All persons have a right to receive a quality education.

Promoting Justice and Countering ViolenceAn ethic of responsibility, rehabilitation, and restoration should be a foundation for the reform of our broken criminal justice system. Promoting moral responsibility and effective responses to violent crime, curbing violence in media, supporting reasonable restrictions on access to assault weapons and handguns, and opposing the use of the death penalty are particularly important in light of a growing “culture of violence.”

Combatting Unjust Discrimination It is important for our society to continue to combat any unjust discrimination, whether based on race, religion, sex, ethnicity, disabling condition, or age, as these are grave injustices and affronts to human dignity. 

Care for Our Common HomeProtecting the land, water, and air we share is a religious duty of stewardship. Care for creation is a moral issue and reflects our responsibility to born and unborn children, who are most vulnerable to environmental assault. We must answer the question that Pope Francis posed to the world: “What kind of world do we want to leave to those who come after us, to children who are now growing up?”

Communications, Media, and Culture Regulation is needed that respects freedom of speech yet also addresses policies that have lowered standards, permitted increasingly offensive material, and reduced opportunities for non-commercial religious programming. Print, broadcast, and electronic media shape the culture. Regulation should limit concentration of media control, including the internet, resist management that is primarily focused on profit, and encourage a variety of program sources, including religious programming.

Global Solidarity The United States has a unique opportunity to use its power in partnership with others to build a more just and peaceful world. The increasing interconnectedness of our world calls for a moral response, the virtue of solidarity. In the words of St. John Paul II, “Solidarity is a firm and persevering determination to commit oneself to the common good” (Sollicitudo Rei Socialis, no. 38). A more just world will likely be a more peaceful world, a world less vulnerable to terrorism and other violence. The United States has the responsibility to take the lead in addressing the scandal of poverty and underdevelopment. Our nation should help to humanize globalization, addressing its negative consequences and spreading its benefits, especially among the world’s poor.

Additional resources offered by the USCCB include:

1.    Seven Themes of Catholic Social Teaching can be found here.
2.    Catholics Care/Catholics Vote can be found here.

As you prepare to vote, I’d encourage you to take your discernment to prayer. May God bless you as you make this very important decision. God Bless the United States of America.

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected], with questions, comments, concerns, or challenges. Prayer requests are welcome too.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Exhausted…You Need Some Balance

Have you ever had a couple days that have wiped you out? It could be the length of the days you’ve worked or the gravity of the issues. Maybe every Friday you feel that way….after a long week.

Leaving my office 6PMish this past Friday, I called my wife, who asked what I wanted to do that evening. Exhausted I said, “not a lot”. Cyndi said, “perfect, I’ll make us a pizza, we can watch a movie, and go to bed early”. Now Saturday morning, when I’m drafting this, it was nice to get to bed early and get a very good night of sleep. I feel rested and ready to go.

We need our rest. We can’t do without it. In fact, based on research that my wife has done, sleep is more important to our wellbeing than exercise. That’s not to say that exercise isn’t important. It is to say that you’re not doing yourself any favors by being on the elliptical everyday if you’re only sleeping 4-6 hours a night.

Photo by Marcus Aurelius from Pexels

We Need Balance in Our Lives

Just like we need our rest, we need to balance our lives in other ways. Categories include:

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Spiritual

What we’ve discussed above is part of the physical. Exercise is important, even if less so than sleep. So is eating and drinking a good diet. I’ve heard it said…you wouldn’t feed a $1mm race horse food from a fast food restaurant, yet what is it we put into our bodies?

Speaking to the emotional, to me there are two pieces:

  1. How you feel about yourself – do you have a healthy view of self, understanding “who” (not your “do”) you are as a child of God? Do you know your God given gifts, and what your purpose is? Do you have a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment?
  2. What do your personal relationships look like? Are they positive or negative? Do they feed you or tear you down?

Whether spiritual or emotional, it often starts in the heart. And the heart leads to the head, the intellectual. I’ve heard it said that you can judge the character of a person by the books he or she reads and the people they associate with.

  • What are the things that you read, watch on TV, or on your phone, including social media?
  • Who do you associate with?
  • Who’s in your inner circle (a subject covered in my book)?

Are the above making you a better version of yourself?

Last (it should be first in our lives) is the spiritual, which is so vitally important because it grounds us in who we are, each of us loved unconditionally and put on this earth for greatness. Through prayer, we connect with our Lord, Who helps us discern the right path, showing us the way to peace, joy, and fulfillment.

Balance is so important in our lives. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “everything in moderation”. I’d agree with that as long as they’re the right things. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually and you’ll have a great life…the kind of life our Lord designed for you.

As always, feel free to contact me with comments, questions, or challenges that you may have at [email protected].

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph
need our rest. We can’t do without it. In fact, based on research that my wife has done, sleep is more important to our wellbeing than exercise. That’s not to say that exercise isn’t important. It is to say that you’re not doing yourself any favors by being on the elliptical everyday if you’re only sleeping 4-6 hours a night.

Just like we need our rest, we need to balance our lives in other ways. Categories include:

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Spiritual

What we’ve discussed above is part of the physical. Exercise is important, even if less so than sleep. So is eating and drinking a good diet. In one of Matthew Kelly’s books, he points to the fact that you wouldn’t feed a $1mm race horse food from McDonald’s, yet what is it we put into our bodies?

Speaking to the emotional, to me there are two pieces:

  1. How we feel about ourselves – do you have a healthy view of self, understanding “who” (not your “do”) you are, your God given gifts, and what your purpose is? Do you have a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment?
  2. What do your personal relationships look like? Are they positive or negative? Do they feed you or tear you down?

Whether spiritual or emotional, it often starts in the heart. And the heart leads to the head, the intellectual. I’ve heard it said that you can judge the character of people by the books they read and the people the associate with.

  • Who do you associate with?
  • Who’s in your inner circle (a subject covered in my book)?
  • What are the things that you read or watch on TV or on your phone, including social media?

Are the above making you a better version of yourself?

Last (should be first in our lives) is the spiritual, which is so vitally important because it grounds us in who we are as a beloved child of God, each of us loved unconditionally and put on this earth for greatness. And through prayer, we connect with our Lord, Who helps us discern the right path, showing us the way to peace, joy, and fulfillment.

It being Mental Health Month, I wanted to speak to how balance is so important in our lives. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “everything in moderation”. I’d agree with that as long as they’re the right things. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually and you’ll have a great life…the kind of life our Lord designed for you.

As always, feel free to contact me with comments, questions, or challenges that you may have at [email protected].

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Three Things to Help Ourselves and Others in Time of Crisis

It was Monday, March 16th, that the President’s 15 Days to Slow the Spread of Coronavirus, went into place. It was the day after my wife and I went to Sunday Mass for the last time at our Parish (we now watch online). Since then Churches have closed across the country, as has almost everything else. With the exception of those serving in the essential services sector, we’re all at home. Many are able to work remotely, while some (into the millions) have lost their jobs due to the crisis.

We’re still not out of this thing. With what started outside of our country, the ripple effect is incredible. It would seem probable that there are parts of our country, our world, our way of life, that are going to change forever…something that wasn’t close to being on our radar earlier in the year, when things were humming along.
In watching the news, seeing what’s being posted, and talking to folks, there’s a lot of fear and anxiety out there. I can genuinely say that I’ve experienced neither, which I would attribute to my faith. What I’m absolutely amazed by is how everything flipped on a dime. The world has literally been turned upside down by Coronavirus overnight. It’s surreal. It’s nuts. It’s really unbelievable.

Photo by Charry Jin from Pexels

So, the question becomes what we can do for ourselves and others during these times. I’ve identified three things:

  1. Stay in a place of Gratitude
  2. Do what you can…don’t worry about the rest
  3. Help others

Stay in a Place of Gratitude
It was a year ago that I posted a blog titled, “Do You Need An Attitude Adjustment Too?”, which you can find here. Not wanting to be redundant, I want to stress the importance of gratitude in these times. BTW, a quick internet search will indicate how important gratitude is to us. Without question, we are currently facing challenging times. And at the same time, so many of us are so blessed. For me, I am so thankful for so much…

  • Starting with Jesus Christ as my Savior
  • Very close second is my wife and the relationship we have, followed by our children and their families, all incredible blessings to us
  • For my journey (everything that has occurred in my life, including the tragedy) and what God now has me doing in my life
  • For my upbringing, my loving parents, my brothers, and our broader family and friends
  • For everything that occurs in my daily life, the good (for obvious reasons) and the bad (for the lessons they teach me).

I don’t mean to drone on, but want to provide you with examples. We all have so much to be thankful for in our lives. We need to take account of these things daily, thanking God in prayer.

Image by Bongkarn Thanyakij from Pexels

Do What You Can…Don’t Worry About the Rest
I’m reminded of the Serenity Prayer, which I say daily:

God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would like it.

Trusting that He will make all things right,
If I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this world
And supremely joyful in the next.
Amen.

We have very little control over much of our lives, i.e. Coronavirus. I believe strongly that the above prayer, including the first four lines, are indicative of the healthy way to live life. Do what you can and don’t worry about the rest.

Help Others
This one is obvious and we’re seeing examples of it everywhere. I, like you, could fill 13 pages with examples. Here’s a different slant though. Those who do mission work or ministry most often feel more served by those they’re serving than the other way around. In other words, it’s in those in need that we truly see the face of Christ, where we feel the love of Christ.

While serving others is not to be about us, we do benefit from it, which is a nice thing in these challenging times. Reading Scripture this morning, I came across Luke 8:39, where Jesus says to a man he just healed, “return home and recount what great things God has done for you”. Two things…first, be grateful. Second, another way to help others is to share the Gospel message, including your testimony.

Praying for all of us as we make our way out of this crisis. As always, should you have questions, comments, or concerns, please contact me at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph