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Weekly Blog

What “Assume” Really Means

You’ve probably heard before that “assume” means “making an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’”. Well, this past week, I was the “ass”. I made an assumption about someone and something that caused me to respond in a way I now regret.

In the circumstance I’m referring to, the details to which aren’t important here, the person I offended thought he was responding to an invitation by me. Here’s the thing…he was correct. I asked for his opinion and then I got upset when he gave it to me.

What gives? What’s wrong with me? First, I’m human and I’m a sinner, far from being a perfect individual. That said, what just happened has caused me to reflect.

Some observations.

To start, a brief comment about the phrase. When referring to “u” and “me”, the real “ass” is me, the person making the assumption. Although a poor assumption can make a mess out of things for both individuals, it’s the person making the assumption who has egg on his or her face, who’s responsible for the problems caused.

With a simple internet search, I found several articles, one of which by Dr. Marcia Sirota (marciasirotamd.com), who makes the point that “instead of basing our understanding of people and events on what we observe and what we know for a fact, we often prefer to make judgments based on our emotions, beliefs, expectations and wishes”.

She suggests always asking ourselves, “how do I know this?” If the answer to that question is anything other than “I learned it through observing the evidence or through obtaining factual information,” then we’re at risk of making an incorrect assumption.

Why Do We Make Assumptions?

The answer again is…we’re human.

We often jump to conclusions or make an assumption based on our past experiences or perceptions. Although we all do it, I’d like to be doing less of it. I think one thing I can do is ask the question proposed above by Dr. Sirota…”how do I know this?”

To do the above, I need to slow down…and not just “jump”, but ponder and reflect. I can’t be so quick to react, but thoughtfully respond. That said, I think there are two things that cause us to “assume” or jump to conclusions:

  • Pride – defined as a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. Pride expresses itself in “ego”, which is an acronym for “edge God out”.
  • Lack of self-love is related to pride and ego, among other things. Counter intuitive, the less we love or like ourselves, the more important it is for us to be right, to be on top, which expresses itself through pride and ego….in making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

We are all beloved children of God, loved beyond imagine and made for greatness. Central to our calling is to love one another…through patience and kindness. Please join me in trying to no longer be the “ass”, instead of assuming…verifying and instead of reacting…responding.

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistires.com with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Remember…You were Made for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

The Gift of an All Knowing, Ever Present Mentor

If a parent, maybe you can identify with the following. It has been humbling for me to see our three kids, all of whom are now married, go to their spouses for advice instead of me and my wife. I assume I did the same when I newly married. That said, it’s interesting. With all due respect to our two sons-in-law and our daughter-in-law, each of whom we like a great deal, they don’t have our same life experiences.

As interesting is watching our kids as they matured, making the same mistakes we did when we were their age. Again, not unlike us in our youth, they didn’t go to those in the know. If like me, you’ve probably said to yourself or them, “I wish you would have asked me about that”. It’s just part of human nature…to not learn the lesson without making the mistake.

Here are some questions for us to ponder:

  1. How would you feel if you had someone in your life who knew you better than anyone else; knew your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes; what it is you were designed for, your life’s calling?
  2. What if that person were always there for you, always present and never letting you down; constantly there to pick you up no matter how many times you fell down, always helping you course correct and prepare for the future?
  3. What if that person loved you so much that his or her ultimate goal was your happiness, your peace, joy, and fulfillment?
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a mentor like the above? Given my first 57 years, with hindsight what it is, I could have saved myself many, many challenges. Assuming I had the maturity and humility to listen, having an all-knowing, ever-present, all loving-mentor would have been a game changer.

I have some good news and some bad news. Let’s do the bad first. There is no one on this earth, for the history of humanity, who has been capable of 1-3 above. With best efforts and really great people in many of our lives, the above is just an impossibility. Blame it on the human condition.

Here’s the very good news. What is described above in 1-3 does exist in the Person of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

  • As evidenced by His torturous death on the Cross, He loves you unconditionally, wanting the very best for you.
  • It’s scriptural (Jeremiah 1:5 and 29:11, John 10:10) that God His Father, made you for greatness, knowing intimately your every gift and talent.
  • Through His Holy Spirit, He’s always with you…always.

There’s an expression in the recovery program (AA), that I believe can serve all of us, no matter who we are or what our experiences. That is, “let go and let God”. How do we know our Heavenly Mentor….by being in relationship with Him and abiding by His Will. We do that through prayer and the Sacraments (if Catholic), through encounter and community.

Doing the above, which is a function of embracing God’s unconditional love, will result in for you:

  • The unimaginable being achievable
  • Living Heaven here on earth
  • Experiencing true Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

As always, please reach out to me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistires.com, with questions, comments, concerns, challenges and/or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfilment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

So You Want to Fix the World…?

I thought this week I’d share a story I’ve heard before. I love its message. It goes as follows.

A father is preparing for a meeting, needing a couple hours of quiet time, when his son, a 10 year old, comes into his study, wanting to play. The father encouraged his son to go play outside, but the son returned. The father saw a magazine on the table with a picture of the world on it. He picked it up, ripped off the cover and tore it into many, many pieces. He handed it to his son, encouraging him to piece together the hand-made puzzle, thinking he bought himself a couple hours.

The son went into the other room and spread all the pieces on the floor. He wasn’t familiar with the world and as such, had no idea how to put the puzzle back together. One of the pieces got turned to the other side and the boy noticed the picture of a hand. He then proceeded to turn over all the pieces, guessing that possibly they would create the picture of an entire person.

 Photo by Sharon Snider from Pexels

 

The boy assembled the puzzle, knowing what a person looks like. He then got some clear tape to ensure that all the pieces stayed in order. He placed a piece of paper over the “person” puzzle, then turning it over, exposing the picture of world, perfectly put back together. All of this took him all but 10 minutes.

The boy rushed back into his dad’s office, incredibly excited about what he did. Looking at his watch, his dad was amazed. Knowing that his son couldn’t possibly know how the world would fit together, he asked how he did it so quickly. His son explained finding the picture of the hand, then turning over all the pieces, followed by assembling the puzzle of the person. He then explained how he taped it and turned it over, showing the world assembled perfectly.

Absolutely amazed, the dad expressed his incredible pride in his son, hugging him and telling him so. The father said, “Son, how in the world (no pun intended) did you figure this out?” The son then responded, “Dad, I figured if I took care of the person, the world would take care of itself”.

Out of the mouths of babes…such a true statement. In so many ways, if we had happy, healthy people, we’d have a better world. In reading my blogs, it won’t be a surprise to you that I think that the best measure of these things is our spiritual lives. In the Great Commandments (Matthew 22:36-40), Jesus instructs us to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. I think that those reading these posts would agree that men and women adhering to the Great Commandments are arguably our best people…and I’d suggest the happiest.

So again, “if we take care of the person”, if the person is the very best he or she can be, then “the world will take care of itself”. Huh!!! How about that. Go God!!!

As always, please get in touch with me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

Categories
Weekly Blog

Christian Considerations for Voting

Be clear, I will not share with you how I’m going to vote, nor tell you how you should vote. That is a point of conscious for all of us individually. 

As indicated in my September 9th blog, although I have very strong political views, those that I believe are consistent with my faith, I’ve never published a single word on politics. I’ve never expressed my political views or affiliation on this platform…because I’ve not wanted politics to get in the way of what I consider to be an incredibly important message…that is the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.

Not changing my approach, I’ve tackled some tough issues over the last several weeks. On September 9th, I wrote about the importance of integrity, given the current climate in our country. On September 23rd, I addressed our call to act in the face of so many challenges. Today I feel called to identify the things that Christians are to consider in determining how to cast their votes. Again, I’m not telling you how to vote. 

Given my Catholic faith, I’m going to reference what has been provided by the Bishops of the Catholic Church, published by the United Stated Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). Knowing what I do about the faith of my non-Catholic Christian brothers and sisters, I believe what is below will speak to all of us.

In “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship – Applying Catholic Teaching to Major Issues: A Summary of Policy Positions of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops”, the Catholic Bishops point to the following as what the faithful need to consider in determining how to vote. For practical purposes, I am paraphrasing much of the content. The material in its entirety can be found here.

This blog is literally three times as long as usual. As such, I’m going to provide brief summary points for each in red. If you’re so inclined, I’d encourage you to read as much as you can or at least skim each.

Photo by Snapwire from Pexels

Human Lifeall human life, from the unborn to the elderly, is to be protected. Abortion and euthanasia have become preeminent threats to human life and dignity because they directly attack life itself, the most fundamental good and the condition for all others. Cloning and destruction of human embryos, assisted suicide and euthanasia, the death penalty, genocide, torture, and the direct and intentional targeting of noncombatants in war or terrorist attacks are always wrong.

Promoting PeaceCatholics must work to avoid war and promote peace. This is of particular importance, as there is a danger in the present time of becoming indifferent to war because of the number of armed conflicts. War is never a reflection of what ought to be but a sign that something more true to human dignity has failed. The Catholic tradition recognizes the legitimacy of just war teaching when defending the innocent in the face of grave evil, but we must never lose sight of the cost of war and its harm to human life. Nations should protect the dignity of the human person and the right to life by finding more effective ways to prevent conflicts, to resolve them by peaceful means, and to promote reconstruction and reconciliation in the wake of conflicts.

Marriage and Family LifeMarriage is to be between one man and one woman; the family structure is fundamental to society and is to be protected. The family founded upon marriage is the basic cell of human society. The role, responsibilities, and needs of families should be central national priorities. Marriage must be defined, recognized, and protected as a lifelong exclusive commitment between a man and a woman, and as the source of the next generation and the protective haven for children. Policies on taxes, work, divorce, immigration, and welfare should uphold the God-given meaning and value of marriage and family, help families stay together, and reward responsibility and sacrifice for children. Children, in particular, are to be valued, protected, and nurtured.

Religious FreedomUS policy should promote religious liberty vigorously, both at home and abroad: our first and most cherished freedom is rooted in the very dignity of the human person, a fundamental human right that knows no geographical boundaries. In the US, religious freedom generally enjoys strong protection in our law and culture, but those protections are now in doubt, i.e. the longstanding tax exemption of the Church has been explicitly called into question at the highest levels of government, precisely because of her teachings on marriage.

Preferential Option for the Poor and Economic Justice Welfare policy should address both the economic and cultural factors that contribute to family breakdown. Economic decisions and institutions should be assessed according to whether they protect or undermine the dignity of the human person. Social and economic policies should foster the creation of jobs for all who can work with decent working conditions and just wages. Barriers to equal pay and employment for women and those facing unjust discrimination must be overcome. Welfare policy should reduce poverty and dependency, strengthen family life, and help families leave poverty through work, training, and assistance with childcare, health care, housing, and transportation. It should also provide a safety net for those who cannot work.

Health CareAffordable and accessible health care is an essential safeguard of human life and a fundamental human right. Despite an increase in the number of people insured, millions of Americans still lack health care coverage. Health care coverage remains an urgent national priority. The nation’s health care system needs to be rooted in values that respect human dignity, protect human life, respect the principle of subsidiarity, and meet the needs of the poor and uninsured, especially born and unborn children, pregnant women, immigrants, and other vulnerable populations. Employers, including religious groups and family-owned businesses, should be able to provide health care without compromising their moral or religious convictions, and individuals should be able to purchase health care that accords with their faith.

ImmigrationRecognizing a nation’s right to control its borders and maintain the rule of law, immigrants are to be treated fairly and compassionately. The Gospel mandate to “welcome the stranger” requires Catholics to care for and stand with newcomers, authorized and unauthorized, including unaccompanied immigrant children, refugees and asylum-seekers, those unnecessarily detained, and victims of human trafficking. Comprehensive reform is urgently necessary to fix a broken immigration system and should include a broad and fair legalization program with a path to citizenship; a work program with worker protections and just wages; family reunification policies; access to legal protections, which include due process procedures; refuge for those fleeing persecution and violence; and policies to address the root causes of migration.

Catholic Education Parents, the first and most important educators, have a fundamental right to choose the education best suited to the needs of their children, including public, private, and religious schools. Government, through such means as tax credits and publicly funded scholarships, should help provide resources for parents, especially those of modest means, to exercise this basic right without discrimination. Students in all educational settings should have opportunities for moral and character formation consistent with the beliefs and responsibilities of their parents. All persons have a right to receive a quality education.

Promoting Justice and Countering ViolenceAn ethic of responsibility, rehabilitation, and restoration should be a foundation for the reform of our broken criminal justice system. Promoting moral responsibility and effective responses to violent crime, curbing violence in media, supporting reasonable restrictions on access to assault weapons and handguns, and opposing the use of the death penalty are particularly important in light of a growing “culture of violence.”

Combatting Unjust Discrimination It is important for our society to continue to combat any unjust discrimination, whether based on race, religion, sex, ethnicity, disabling condition, or age, as these are grave injustices and affronts to human dignity. 

Care for Our Common HomeProtecting the land, water, and air we share is a religious duty of stewardship. Care for creation is a moral issue and reflects our responsibility to born and unborn children, who are most vulnerable to environmental assault. We must answer the question that Pope Francis posed to the world: “What kind of world do we want to leave to those who come after us, to children who are now growing up?”

Communications, Media, and Culture Regulation is needed that respects freedom of speech yet also addresses policies that have lowered standards, permitted increasingly offensive material, and reduced opportunities for non-commercial religious programming. Print, broadcast, and electronic media shape the culture. Regulation should limit concentration of media control, including the internet, resist management that is primarily focused on profit, and encourage a variety of program sources, including religious programming.

Global Solidarity The United States has a unique opportunity to use its power in partnership with others to build a more just and peaceful world. The increasing interconnectedness of our world calls for a moral response, the virtue of solidarity. In the words of St. John Paul II, “Solidarity is a firm and persevering determination to commit oneself to the common good” (Sollicitudo Rei Socialis, no. 38). A more just world will likely be a more peaceful world, a world less vulnerable to terrorism and other violence. The United States has the responsibility to take the lead in addressing the scandal of poverty and underdevelopment. Our nation should help to humanize globalization, addressing its negative consequences and spreading its benefits, especially among the world’s poor.

Additional resources offered by the USCCB include:

1.    Seven Themes of Catholic Social Teaching can be found here.
2.    Catholics Care/Catholics Vote can be found here.

As you prepare to vote, I’d encourage you to take your discernment to prayer. May God bless you as you make this very important decision. God Bless the United States of America.

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com, with questions, comments, concerns, or challenges. Prayer requests are welcome too.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph