Tag: peace

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The Recipe for Forgiveness

Do you have trouble forgiving others? Forgiving yourself? Do you hold resentments? The fact is that ongoing conflict with others is one of the primary impediments to peace in our lives. 

In last week’s blog, I cited Reverend Rick Warren of Saddleback Church. Although I don’t intend to make a long-term habit of it, I’m doing so again here. Rev. Rick has a great formula for forgiveness. Paraphrased below, you can get the full post here.

As per Rev. Rick, when you find yourself in the midst of conflict, here’s a simple five-step, biblical path to peace.

PLAN a peace meeting. (Matthew 5:24)

Take the initiative. Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. It doesn’t matter if you’re the offended or the offender. It’s always your move. Take the initiative because Jesus said so. Plus, it shows that you’re more mature.

You will never resolve conflict accidentally. You must intentionally deal with it or it will never go away. In Matthew 5:24, Jesus emphasizes that you’re to begin this process “at once” . It’ll get harder the longer you wait.

EMPATHIZE with their feelings. (Philippians 5:24)

Once you begin the peace meeting, start with the other person’s pain. You’re usually thinking of your own hurts when you’re upset. You need to do the opposite. Think more about the other person than yourself. Try to understand the pain behind their angry words. Ask yourself, “How can I help the other person?”

One benefit of conflict is that it usually leads to greater intimacy in the relationship because it helps you better understand the other person as you empathize with their pain.

ATTACK the problem, not the person. (Proverbs 15:1)

You can’t focus on fixing the problem and fixing the blame at the same time. If you go to the peace meeting thinking you’ll blame the other person, then forget it. You can’t make peace like that. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up”.

Engage your mind before you engage your mouth. Then say helpful words, not ones that tear the other person down. As Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29, use “only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed”.

COOPERATE as much as possible. (Romans 12:18)

Be a bridge-builder and not a bridge-destroyer. In Romans 12:18, the Bible reminds us to live at peace with everyone, as much as possible. Your ability to get along should be a hallmark of your Christian life.

That means you must be willing to pay the cost. Peacemaking always has a cost. It will cost your ego and selfishness. You’ll need to give up your desire to always be right. And when you do, you’ll begin to build bridges.

EMPHASIZE reconciliation, not resolution. (2 Corinthians 5:18)

Reconciliation doesn’t mean you’ll resolve all the problems in your relationship. It simply means to reestablish the relationship. Often you have legitimate differences in your relationships and will never fully resolve them. Reconciliation means you bury the hatchet, not the issue. You keep talking about it, but you talk about it harmoniously. 

Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, not the problem.

The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:18 that God has modeled reconciliation for us. When you work to reconcile your relationships, you’re doing what God has already done in your relationship with Him. Working toward reconciliation is the most Christlike thing you can do.

You can become a peacemaker in your home, in your organization, and in your community. The Bible tells us, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). 

You’ll notice that the first letter of the above steps create the acronym PEACE. I love how Rev. Rick always references Scripture. It’s a great reminder that all of life’s lessons can be found in the Bible and are taught by the Church. As indicated last week, you can find Rev. Rick at https://pastors.com. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Planning for a Life with Purpose

It is said that most people spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do their lives. There’s evidence that many are additionally challenged with managing the “plan”, even if having established one. Does any of this resonate with you? If so, you’re not alone. And remember this…it’s never too late to start being (or enhancing) the person you want to be, the person God is calling you to be.

We started this series by talking about your life’s experiences (lifeline), which led to your “why”. Both play an important role in your life plan (last week’s blog), which would hopefully include God’s purpose for your life. Here we talk about how to incorporate your life plan into day-to-day life.

In knowing my material, it won’t surprise you that I suggest taking the planning process to prayer. Just prior to your planning for the month, week, and day, you could say something like,

“Dear Lord, please be with me as I move through my life. Help me to recognize, prioritize, and accomplish all that you want for me and from me. Help me to continue to understand that it is not me, but You working through me in all things. Therefore, help me to do my best, then surrendering all over to You”.

Monthly Planning

To do your Monthly Plan, you’ll want to reference your Life Plan, as well as your previous monthly plans. Asking God to put the right things on your mind, record on one of the pages in your Planner your personal goals, projects, and To Do’s. All the above things apply for your professional life too.

Note – although not everyone has a job outside his/her home, there are typically things that fall into the “personal” category and others that could be referred to as “work” or “professional”. The point is that this system can be used by everyone.

Weekly Planning

For the weekly plan, I’d suggest identifying:

  • Phone calls to be made
  • Emails to be sent
  • To Do’s
  • Projects
  • Goals
  • To Do’s
  • “Waiting On”

Daily Planning

What I do first thing in the morning or the evening before, is to identify those things from the Weekly Plan that I want to get done that particular day.

 

Execution of Your Plan

As I am moving through my day, achieving the things I’ve identified, I mark them down, with a “+” if I’m waiting on something or a double checkmark when completed in total.

Prayer, Planning, and Solitude – to be done at the end of your day, week, and month.

  • Daily
    • Review what you’ve accomplished, making sure all notes and tasks are updated.
    • Set your priorities for the next day, identifying them as described above
  • Weekly
    • Construct your weekly calendar, moving forward whatever you didn’t achieve from the last week.
    • Anything that you are waiting on will go to the “Waiting On” list.
  • Monthly – referencing your Life Plan and last month’s Plan, you assess what you’ve accomplished or not and what you want to keep on the plan or not. You of course can be adding things. It will help to reference your weekly plans as well.

I hope all this was helpful. As my dear old Dad used to say, “plan your work and work your plan”. It’s worked for me. I’m confident it can work for you.

God made you for Greatness. Hopefully these last four weeks, starting with:

  • Your lifeline
  • Then moving to your “why”
  • Followed by how to do your life plan
  • And now how to plan and execute

…help you to find and maximize the Greatness God wants for you.

If you’d like more detailed documents on these processes, please email be at the address below and we’ll send them to you.

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What’s Your Life Plan?

In the last couple weeks, we’ve discussed your life’s experiences (lifeline) and how to discern your “why”, that which gets you up in the morning, what motivates you on a daily basis. Those things are foundational to helping you develop a plan for your life and manage it to success, subjects of this blog and next week’s.All of this speaks to the unique God given gifts you have, coupled with your special purpose on this earth…all for God’s glory and the only way to bring you true peace, joy, and fulfillment. To that end, let’s get started.Like with anything, I would suggest that you take your life planning process to prayer. Like with any goal, it helps to understand where you want to finish. For purposes of a life plan, it also makes sense to understand how you want to be remembered. Finally, in understanding where you are currently, you can identify the steps you need to take to reach your long-term goals.Steps for your Life Plan include:

  • Identifying those you want to leave an impact on; then describing that impact over the course of your life and theirs’.
  • Identifying the priority areas in your life, including the people who are priorities
    1. Identify the goal…what you want the future to be
    2. Detail the current situation
    3. Discern and detail the steps to go from the current situation to your goal
  • Revisiting of the Life Plan

Example from Mark
Identifying those you want to leave an impact on; then describing that impact
My list includes the following:

  • God (my Faith life)
  • Cyndi (my wife)
  • Danielle, Tricia, Robert (our kids)
  • Kids’ Spouses and Grandchildren
  • My Parents and Brothers, their Spouses and Kids
  • Colleagues and Associates, including Volunteer Organizations
  • Friends and Acquaintances
  • Parish Community and the Broader Catholic Church

Picking from one of the above, a sample from my Life Plan is:
 

  • Colleagues and Associates, including Volunteer Organizations    
    • I want my colleagues and associates to remember me as a strong and compassionate leader, who loved them more than the cause or the organization. I want them to have known me as their brother in Christ, someone who lives his faith, always puts God first, and exudes the love of Christ. I pray that they remember me as always helping them be a better version of themselves, helping them internalize God’s unconditional love, with it being my desire to love them into loving themselves, having a healthy self-love, and realizing that they were each made for greatness, thereby living lives of peace, joy, and fulfillment. I hope that what I’ve done in my life serves as an example to them, living out Jesus’ Great Commandments…to love God, love our neighbors, and Great Commission, to make disciples; and how these things combined with finding my life’s purpose, gave me great peace, joy, and fulfillment. Finally, I hope that they view our work together as significant and impactful, helping people feel the love of Christ and sharing that love with others, being disciples and making disciples, ultimately revitalizing and reenergizing the Church.

Identifying the priority areas in your life
The priorities I’ve established for my Life Plan include:

  • God
  • Cyndi
  • Health (Self)
    1. Physical
    2. Intellectual and Emotional
  • Kids – D, T, RJ, and their families
  • Ministry/Career
  • Family and Friends
  • Finances

As indicated above, the steps include:

  • Identifying the goal
  • Understanding your current status
  • Discerning the steps to go from current to goal

An example from my Life Plan is the following:

  • Physical Health

Long-Term Objective:
To be the healthiest and most energetic possible version of me, allowing for the great and impactful life that God has planned for me. Detailed Desired Outlook:I am 177-179 pounds, in great cardio shape, and have very good muscular tone, working out 6 days per week (3 cardio, 3 weights/bike), always endeavoring to improve. I eat in moderation, a very healthy diet, 99% of the time. I don’t drink, smoke, or take any drugs. Under the guidance of my health coach and wife, I take supplements and engage in homeopathic remedies. I am highly energized throughout the day and sleep well at night. Knowing how to relax and being at peace, my stress level is low. I have a zest for life and love my wife.Current Situation:

  • I exercise at least 5 days per week. I eat healthy most of the time as well, although I sometimes eat too much. I have room to improve on both.
  • I have a chronic sleeping problem, waking up 2-4 times each night, sometimes not able to get back to sleep.

Steps:

  • Exercise 6x/week, building on past success, getting stronger and in better cardio shape
  • Eat in better moderation; continue very healthy diet and regiment of supplements
  • Investigate ways to sleep better

Revisiting of the Life Plan
My suggestion is the following:

  • Quarterly Review – that you revisit your Life Plan quarterly, reviewing it to remind yourself of what it includes, then having it be reflected in your Monthly Plans.
  • Annual Study – that you take additional time, more than a review, to study and amend your Life Plan. Make it a working document, updating it and dating those updates as you go, so that you can track how the Lord is working in your life.

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
God made you for GREATNESS!!!

 

Mark Joesph

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Weekly Blog

Have You Walked on Water?

I got to spend some relaxing time with family a couple days ago, for a long weekend, on a beautiful lake in Michigan. Sitting at the dock, late in the afternoon, watching the sun’s reflection on the water, my mind went to a different place, to a time I’ve read about in Scripture. 

The story is told in Matthew’s Gospel, where Jesus sent the disciples out on the boat. They were on rough waters, with the wind stirring around them. Startled, they saw Jesus walking towards them on the water. In Matthew 14:27, Jesus responds to them saying, “Have faith. It is I. Do not be afraid”. As an aside, the Bible says 365 times some derivative of “be not afraid”. God clearly doesn’t want us to live in fear. 

In verse 28, Peter says, “Lord, if it is you, order me to come to you over the waters”. With Jesus telling him to “come”, Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on the water. After some steps, beginning to fear, he was sinking when he said, “Lord save me”. In verse 31, extending His hand and grabbing Peter, Jesus said, “O little in faith, why did you doubt?”

Sitting at the edge of the lake, watching the sun reflect off the water, I got to pray through the above. I love the imagery. Can you imagine being on that boat, with the waves whipping and the winds bustling? You’re concerned for your safety when you see something (Someone) walking towards you on the water. What? People don’t walk on water. 

Peter, always the first to speak, the first to act, yells to Jesus. I love Peter’s boldness. Believing, having faith, Peter asks Jesus to have him walk on the water too. Can you imagine? Who does that? A person of great faith. Peter does that. Jesus is asking each of us to walk on water, to step out of the boat and into the deep. 

  • What is Jesus really asking us…to exercise our greatness, to fully utilize our God given gifts and to fulfill our God given purpose.
  • Why does Jesus do this…because he knows that it’s our only path to peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

There’s only one way we do what Jesus asks…that’s with great faith. To me, there’s only one way that such faith exists in us…that is to understand and internalize the unconditional and penetrating love of Jesus Christ. God loves us more than we’ll ever know, no matter what we’ve ever done. When are we going to get that? 

For those of us who know that love, we’d never go back to a life otherwise. We know Jesus’ invitation is the only means to true happiness (peace, joy, and fulfillment). Nothing else but following Him, living a life in Christ, will do it. Speaking boldly (like Peter)…that’s an absolute fact. 

For those who don’t know that love, there is hope…you can get there too. Please reach out to me and I’d be happy to help you on your journey….the path Jesus wants you to pursue.  

As always, feel free to contact me at [email protected] with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph