Tag: peace

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Starting Anew

All of us want to live good lives. We want to experience success (which means different things to different people), be happy, and feel loved. Often missing the mark, year-end is a great time to refocus. Advent is a time of preparing, when God becomes man in the form of the vulnerable little baby Jesus. A period of hope, of celebration, Christmas leads to the New Year, a time to plan anew, learning from the past, but leaving it for a better, brighter future. 

Three lessons central to my lived experience:

  • In understanding the unconditional love of Jesus, the unimaginable is achievable
  • There’s a path to peace, joy, and fulfillment 
  • God made us for Greatness

Although all are integral to our faith, we never hear anything about them, including in Church. I’d suggest that if more people knew the truth of the above, Masses would be standing room only. Parishes would once again be the center of family life, like they were years ago. 

So leaving this year and going into next, I’m going to share how we achieve the above three things. I’m going to do so predominantly with “story”, from my life and others. Stories resonate with people. We learn from our own individual stories. And the stories of others…that’s my prayer with this series. 

The Problem

Let’s frame the problem…most of us don’t know how to achieve the three points above. We pursue prominence, possessions, pleasure, and fulfillment in our personal relationships, thinking these things will satisfy us. Probably not unlike you, I fully bought into these false answers for years, working very hard to succeed. Then tragedy struck, and I lost my family as I knew it, as well as the business I had spent so many years building. 

In hindsight, I was overwhelmed when things seemed to be going well, as I was when things got really bad. It just felt different. During the good times, it was all about the pace: running, running, running. There was always too much to do and never enough hours in the day. It was overwhelming, but because I felt like I was in control, it didn’t seem like it. In fact, I was energized by it. In the bad times, I was exhausted, deflated, frustrated, and very aware of just how overwhelmed I truly was. 

When my life reached the point of crisis, I began to learn the lessons that have benefited me beyond belief. As I have learned how to remove the shackles that the world puts on us, I have been blessed with profound peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

Before we can address any issue, we first need to understand it, so the first 5-6 blogs will look at why we are the way we are and how we got here. The second 5-6 will lay out the path the Lord took me on, to resolve our issues, positioning us to live lives of peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

It is my hope that this blog series will serve as a resource to you, that it will help you find relief from whatever life circumstances are overwhelming you. I pray that it will allow you to see yourself as you are: a person worthy of love precisely because you exist, and not for what you achieve. I hope that the principles I lay out will do for you what they did for me, setting you on the path to finding your life’s purpose. Because whether you’re aware of it or not, you were made for greatness. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What’s Really Meaningful? 

What do you read to inspire you? Or listen to? What inspires you? I love reading books about our faith and leadership, my favorite topics. I’m on the email distribution lists of my favorite authors. One of them, a great inspiration, is John O’Leary. A burn victim as a youth, John has mastered making lemonade out of lemons. You can find John’s books (great reads), blogs, and other products at https://johnolearyinspires.com. 

In his September 20th email, John told a story about a young girl he met at a burn camp for children. This courageous girl was burned years earlier, sustaining injuries similar to his, and had lost the fingers on her right hand. Because of that, she wore an oversized sweatshirt at camp to cover the scars on her arm and hide the extent of her injuries. John explains further below.

You don’t have to be a child to know sometimes it feels safer to simply hide scars.

At camp that day, I shared with the kids what I went through as a child and the gifts that came from it. I reminded them of the beauty of scars, the resiliency they possess, and ultimately, that they are being prepared for something bigger and better than they can currently fathom.

Afterwards, this beautiful girl approached in her sweatshirt. She stood in front of me, took a deep breath, then exhaled as she rolled up her sleeves for the first time that week. She then proudly lifted her scarred arm and hand.

You don’t have to be a child to know sometimes it’s liberating to honestly reveal your scars and embrace who you really are.

As we hugged goodbye at the end of that meeting, I told her we weren’t done being friends and the next time I was in her part of the state we were hanging out.

That’s how a few weeks later, at a little restaurant off the interstate, I had the pleasure of reconnecting with this brave girl. Her grandfather sat nearby as we visited about her experiences, what she had endured, the struggles she faced in recovery, the concerns she felt moving forward and the dreams she still had for her life. In other words, we had an awesome visit!

That interaction, with that young girl, reminded me it’s seldom in the massive events and huge gatherings where we change the world. It’s the regular moments, in unexpected spaces, with ordinary people that the best of our work and lives is revealed.

Too often, we race to what we thought was the real work, but it’s seldom found in the big stuff – the big trip, the big project, the big win. No, the best and most meaningful aspects of our lives are discovered in the seemingly ordinary experiences, tender moments of grace, and ordinary human interactions with others throughout the day.

If you want to read John’s post in total, you can read it in full here.

Not only does John’s story speak to the Great Commandments…love God and love others, but it’s the only Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless and remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph 

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Weekly Blog

A Great Quote from Mr. Rogers

Who among us grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood? I know many of my readers are from the Pittsburgh area, home of Fred Rogers. Even if you didn’t watch his show, which included Chef Brockett and Mr. McFeely, aka Speedy Delivery, most of us knew of him. Mr. Rogers was the creator of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, which ran from 1968 to 2001, as well as the host of all 895 episodes, the composer of its more than 200 songs, and the puppeteer who imagined 14 characters into being. Mr. Rogers was an icon who changed children’s television. 

Related to my source for the Mr. Rogers quote, I have a friend named Ed Blank, who spent 39 years as a drama and movie critic for the Pittsburgh newspapers and television stations. A Vietnam vet, I had lunch with Ed a few weeks ago. Now retired, the stories he told were absolutely enticing and included names like John Wayne, Johnny Cash, Carol Brunette, Burt Reynolds, and many more. I can’t wait to be with Ed again. 

During our lunch, Ed told me a story about Fred Rogers, who became a friend of his. He had overheard Fred say to someone, “remember, there is no such thing as a conflict-free life”. Ed later related that story back to Fred, who had no recollection of it. That didn’t mean it didn’t continue to have an impact on Ed, as it did me.  

“There is no such thing as a conflict-free life”. With the exception of “God loves you unconditionally”, there may not be a truer statement. Conflict can be national or international, like what’s going on in Afghanistan right now…an absolute and arguably avoidable mess. 

Most of the conflict we experience is more personal than global, taking place at home or work, with those we typically interact with most often. Like all other issues in life, the answer is in Scripture or taught by the Church. Related to how we are to handle conflict, check out Matthew 18:15-17. Added to what St. Matthew indicates, I would offer the following points. 

 

There is no such thing as a conflict-free life 

Consistent with Mr. Rogers as quoted by Ed, there is no such thing as a conflict-free life. If that’s your expectation, then you’re in for a hard time. Conflict is a part of life. We’d all do ourselves a favor in learning how to handle it. 

 

Although not all conflict is avoidable, much of it is

By establishing ground rules or expectations up front, so as to make sure there are no misunderstandings after the fact, can go a significant way in minimizing or eliminating conflict. Although not always possible or practical, I like to have things in writing. 

 

Conflict doesn’t have to be confrontational

Many people run from conflict because they think it automatically means confrontation. That is not true. Conflict done the right way is healthy. You could argue that you wouldn’t grow or become a better person without conflict. 

 

Attack the problem, not the person

Be empathetic. Nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care. You can’t be self-righteous and on-the-attack and expect a good outcome. Instead, be invested in resolution and agreement as opposed to being right. Two sayings that come to mind:

  • Hate the sin, not the sinner 
  • Love your neighbor as your self 

 

You can say anything to anyone, as long as you say it softly

Tone is so important. An elevated voice (or perception of one) makes people feel like they’re being attacked. No one responds well to that. Speak softly. Smile. Both go a long way. 

 

Communicate often and early

People don’t like to be surprised. Most are creatures of habit. Most people are planners, albeit sometimes only subconsciously. They don’t like to be left in the dark. They much prefer forewarning. Give people as much advance notice as possible and don’t be surprised by last minute things creating conflict.  

 

Identify to the other person your struggle with the situation

You may say something like, “You know, I’m not very comfortable bringing this topic up to you. The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings or bring conflict between us. The truth is though, you’ve hurt my feelings. I’d love for you to help me talk through this. I’d like to understand what you really meant, in addition to sharing with you how I perceived it. I’m hopeful that we can resolve any issues between us. Are you willing to work through this with me?”

 

Do the above with those closest to you as well

Oftentimes with family (and very close friends), we fear conflict the most. I think that’s because we fear the risk of loss. We also have expectations and often unspoken agendas for those in our inner circle. As such, with emotion we react instead of respond. The suggestions above all work and arguably are most important for those so important to us. 

 

Thank you, Ed, for the story that prompted this blog. By extension, thank you to Mr. Rogers. Both men have stories steeped in life lessons for us.  

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What’s Your Deepest Desire?

What is your deepest desire? What do you want more than anything in your life? What disappoints you tremendously when you don’t experience it? And provides you with great joy when you do?

In doing a quick internet search, several sermons came up, with all indicating something like….”the deepest longing of the human heart is to know and enjoy the glory of God”. I humbly disagree…with a twist.

Think about this. What is it that you truly want more than anything in the world? {Drum roll please ?} That thing which we all universally want, more than anything, is to be loved and accepted…genuinely for “who” we are, not what we “do”. We want to be chosen, to be desired.  We want to feel special, to be affirmed. We want to be loved unconditionally, accepted for the people we truly are. No pretending. No facade. Just for our authentic selves.

The above is true, as reflected in studies and surveys. We want nothing more than to be unconditionally loved and accepted. From an authentic, personal, and emotional level, we want that love and acceptance from those in our lives…our parents, siblings, and spouses, our children, other relatives, friends, and colleagues.

Here’s the bad news…we’ll never get it…not unconditionally and not consistently. Conflicts will occur. Challenges will happen. Life is messy and we’re human. We’re imperfect sinners. As such, we can’t possibly provide one another regularly with what we so deeply desire.

 

Our Failed Attempts

I refer to the 4 Ps as prominence, possessions, pleasure, and people. With the last of the four not being able to satisfy as indicated above, we go to the first three. But as Johnny Lee sings, we are “Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places”. The fact is that none of these things will ever satisfy us, never fill the God sized hole in the center of our chests.

I said above, “I humbly disagree…with a twist”. My disagreement is that I don’t believe we care where that unconditional love comes from. We just want it. As it occurs (here’s the twist), the ONLY place it can come from is God. In my view, consistent with the sermons sited above, the ONLY thing that will satisfy your deepest desire is you understanding and internalizing the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.

God loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done. You’ve been chosen by God. Made in His image and likeness, you’re a beloved child of God, who loves you unconditionally. He made you with special and unique gifts and talents. God put you on this earth with a purpose. God loves you and made you for greatness. Know that truth and live a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment!!!

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph