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The Missing Ingredient 

Conversion is not a one-off event. While the initial moment of conversion may have been very powerful for many of us, the reality is that conversion takes place over a period of time and sets us on a journey to becoming who we’re meant to be. The next critical step on the journey is healing.

We all need healing. Regardless of who we are or what our experiences have been, we carry wounds. There are tragedies we’ve endured, hurts we’ve experienced, and fears we’ve lived with, all contributing to the wounds we’ve allowed to build up over time. If we truly want to live a fulfilling life, we need to allow ourselves to heal, and that takes some work. The first step is to let it all go, which is much easier said than done. The process of healing is some of the heaviest lifting you’ll do on this journey. It requires a lot of self-reflection and vulnerability. It means examining your faults and failings, your character flaws, your weaknesses. It often means asking for help.  

Why Forgive?  

It isn’t easy, yet refusing to forgive keeps us stuck in old patterns of self-loathing, fear, and resentment — all of those things that keep us feeling overwhelmed by life. Not forgiving leaves us stuck in the past. It causes emotional, physical, and spiritual issues. Forgiveness is first of all for our benefit, not the benefit of anyone who hurt us. It is only when we forgive that we can be free from the pain and hurt of the past. Forgiving helps us to grow. It is empowering. 

For me, the biggest challenge in forgiving others was owning up to my role in the situations that had hurt me. Coming to terms with that responsibility required a hard look in the mirror. To finally begin to forgive others in my life, I had to go through a process, which included first forgiving myself. Not easy, it took time. Thankfully, God was there to help me through it, just as he will be for you.

 

Forgiveness Begins with You

Forgiveness isn’t just about forgiving others. We also need to forgive ourselves, which often is the first step. Not forgiving yourself for past mistakes, constantly beating yourself up for them is exhausting.  

Refusing to forgive ourselves basically says that Jesus’ sacrifice was a waste of time. God forgives all, so if I refuse to forgive myself, I place myself above God. Our identity is who we are as God’s creation, put on this earth out of his love, restored through his Son’s sacrifice, made to be great and to live for his glory. 

None of this came quickly. I went from beating myself up several times an hour to once an hour. Then to every eight hours, then twenty-four hours, to every couple days,, and once a week. It was a process and a slow one. With all the progress I’ve made, I still occasionally go to that dark place, albeit rarely. If it’s slow for you, too, that’s okay. Just take it one day at a time, be patient with yourself, and continually renew your trust in God’s love.

Why Forgive Others?

When we’re caught up in seeking validation and love from other people, it can be really tough to forgive. The more we can rest in the conviction that God loves us, the easier it becomes to understand that other people’s faults and failings are owned by them and not a reflection of us. The fact is, most often people who hurt us aren’t maliciously attacking us, but dealing from a place of their own inadequacy and their own wounds. The more we can understand God’s love for us and for those who hurt us, the easier it becomes to let go of resentment. 

Although at times we will express it verbally, that doesn’t mean we have to say, “I forgive you” for it to count. And forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning or endorsing their behavior. They can truly be in the wrong and you can (and should) still forgive them. Given my experience, there’s a freedom to doing it. It brings about peace, even joy. 

I hope all this helps. There’s so much more to say on this subject, with me dedicating an entire chapter to it in my book, including a powerful story about the process I went through. 

As always, please email me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with any questions, comments, concerns, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for Greatness!!!

 

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Starting Anew

All of us want to live good lives. We want to experience success (which means different things to different people), be happy, and feel loved. Often missing the mark, year-end is a great time to refocus. Advent is a time of preparing, when God becomes man in the form of the vulnerable little baby Jesus. A period of hope, of celebration, Christmas leads to the New Year, a time to plan anew, learning from the past, but leaving it for a better, brighter future. 

Three lessons central to my lived experience:

  • In understanding the unconditional love of Jesus, the unimaginable is achievable
  • There’s a path to peace, joy, and fulfillment 
  • God made us for Greatness

Although all are integral to our faith, we never hear anything about them, including in Church. I’d suggest that if more people knew the truth of the above, Masses would be standing room only. Parishes would once again be the center of family life, like they were years ago. 

So leaving this year and going into next, I’m going to share how we achieve the above three things. I’m going to do so predominantly with “story”, from my life and others. Stories resonate with people. We learn from our own individual stories. And the stories of others…that’s my prayer with this series. 

The Problem

Let’s frame the problem…most of us don’t know how to achieve the three points above. We pursue prominence, possessions, pleasure, and fulfillment in our personal relationships, thinking these things will satisfy us. Probably not unlike you, I fully bought into these false answers for years, working very hard to succeed. Then tragedy struck, and I lost my family as I knew it, as well as the business I had spent so many years building. 

In hindsight, I was overwhelmed when things seemed to be going well, as I was when things got really bad. It just felt different. During the good times, it was all about the pace: running, running, running. There was always too much to do and never enough hours in the day. It was overwhelming, but because I felt like I was in control, it didn’t seem like it. In fact, I was energized by it. In the bad times, I was exhausted, deflated, frustrated, and very aware of just how overwhelmed I truly was. 

When my life reached the point of crisis, I began to learn the lessons that have benefited me beyond belief. As I have learned how to remove the shackles that the world puts on us, I have been blessed with profound peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

Before we can address any issue, we first need to understand it, so the first 5-6 blogs will look at why we are the way we are and how we got here. The second 5-6 will lay out the path the Lord took me on, to resolve our issues, positioning us to live lives of peace, joy, and fulfillment. 

It is my hope that this blog series will serve as a resource to you, that it will help you find relief from whatever life circumstances are overwhelming you. I pray that it will allow you to see yourself as you are: a person worthy of love precisely because you exist, and not for what you achieve. I hope that the principles I lay out will do for you what they did for me, setting you on the path to finding your life’s purpose. Because whether you’re aware of it or not, you were made for greatness. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What’s Your Deepest Desire?

What is your deepest desire? What do you want more than anything in your life? What disappoints you tremendously when you don’t experience it? And provides you with great joy when you do?

In doing a quick internet search, several sermons came up, with all indicating something like….”the deepest longing of the human heart is to know and enjoy the glory of God”. I humbly disagree…with a twist.

Think about this. What is it that you truly want more than anything in the world? {Drum roll please ?} That thing which we all universally want, more than anything, is to be loved and accepted…genuinely for “who” we are, not what we “do”. We want to be chosen, to be desired.  We want to feel special, to be affirmed. We want to be loved unconditionally, accepted for the people we truly are. No pretending. No facade. Just for our authentic selves.

The above is true, as reflected in studies and surveys. We want nothing more than to be unconditionally loved and accepted. From an authentic, personal, and emotional level, we want that love and acceptance from those in our lives…our parents, siblings, and spouses, our children, other relatives, friends, and colleagues.

Here’s the bad news…we’ll never get it…not unconditionally and not consistently. Conflicts will occur. Challenges will happen. Life is messy and we’re human. We’re imperfect sinners. As such, we can’t possibly provide one another regularly with what we so deeply desire.

 

Our Failed Attempts

I refer to the 4 Ps as prominence, possessions, pleasure, and people. With the last of the four not being able to satisfy as indicated above, we go to the first three. But as Johnny Lee sings, we are “Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places”. The fact is that none of these things will ever satisfy us, never fill the God sized hole in the center of our chests.

I said above, “I humbly disagree…with a twist”. My disagreement is that I don’t believe we care where that unconditional love comes from. We just want it. As it occurs (here’s the twist), the ONLY place it can come from is God. In my view, consistent with the sermons sited above, the ONLY thing that will satisfy your deepest desire is you understanding and internalizing the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.

God loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done. You’ve been chosen by God. Made in His image and likeness, you’re a beloved child of God, who loves you unconditionally. He made you with special and unique gifts and talents. God put you on this earth with a purpose. God loves you and made you for greatness. Know that truth and live a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment!!!

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

 

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Weekly Blog

What Leaders Have to Protect Against Most

I believe strongly that any organization unwilling to reach outside itself will die. The same can be said for an organization’s leaders. Related…although I am absolutely committed to Catholicism, I believe that north of 90% of what all Christians believe we have in common. These two things in combination lead me to Reverend Rick Warren, Founder and Senior Pastor of Saddleback Church in Orange County, CA.  

My wife and I have visited Saddleback, attended Sunday service (experiencing hospitality that you wouldn’t believe), and met with Saddleback’s Pastor of Small Groups. Again, absolutely committed to our Catholic faith, I/we can be learning from others. 

The above is a preface to a blog Pastor Rick recently wrote on “pride” and how destructive it can be. Paraphrased below, you can access the blog here.

Leaders can often become their own biggest obstacle. When they start to see fruitfulness, they may be tempted to make everything about themselves. This is pride. The Bible says it’s the root of every other sin.

Pride leads to conflict, prevents growth, leads to anxiety, and angers God. The opposite of pride is humility. That’s one characteristic we want and need to develop. Leading is a heavy responsibility. We cannot do it without God’s help. 

Humility is a choice. It is something we do to ourselves. So how do we develop it in our lives? Start with these five steps.

Admit your sins honestly.

We all sin, but the Bible is clear that God is ready to forgive us. Proverbs 28:13 says, “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance”. God gives second chances (and third, fourth, and hundredth chances) to the humble.

Evaluate your strengths realistically.

You’ve probably heard the saying—maybe from your own parents—that you can be anything you want to be. But it’s not true. If you don’t have the talent for a particular role, you won’t be able to do it. 

To deal with pride in your life, you need to honestly evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. The Bible says, “Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you” (Romans 12:3). Pride is based on a false image of ourselves. Humility is based on a true and realistic image. Humility is being honest about both your strengths and weaknesses.

Enjoy your success gratefully. 

Remind yourself daily of two pride-busting truths. First, everything we have is a gift from God. Paul asks in 1 Corinthians 4:7, “What are you so puffed up about? What do you have that God hasn’t given you?”.

The truth is, we wouldn’t even have breath if God hadn’t given it to us. Anything God does through you isn’t about you. It’s about Him. Everything you achieve is about Him. 

Second, one day we will give an account before God for what we did with what He gave us. It’s hard to be prideful when you realize that one day every one of your secrets will be exposed. It’s a humbling realization.

Serve others unselfishly.

The greatest antidote to pride is to give yourself away by helping others. It’s the only way to live more happily and humbly. 

The Bible teaches: “Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing” (Philippians 2:3-4).

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. We need to get so busy serving others that we don’t have time for our own gripes and complaints. 

Depend on Jesus continually.

Depending on God is how we express humility. In fact, dependence is the heart of humility. God didn’t design us to be independent—but dependent on Him. Stress often comes from taking upon ourselves what we were never intended to do. 

You’ll never get rid of all the stress in your life, but you can depend upon God for the ultimate outcome. Your circumstances don’t have to determine your response. The Bible promises great blessings when we are humble and depend on God. Proverbs 22:4 says, “Respecting the Lord and not being proud will bring you wealth, honor, and life”.

Outwardly, you may be an extremely successful leader. But your success is not about you—it’s about what God will do through you. 

Thank you, Rev. Rick. Great stuff!!! I read Rev. Rick’s posts regularly. You can get them and other resources at https://pastors.com. Let’s learn together.  

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph