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What’s Really Meaningful? 

What do you read to inspire you? Or listen to? What inspires you? I love reading books about our faith and leadership, my favorite topics. I’m on the email distribution lists of my favorite authors. One of them, a great inspiration, is John O’Leary. A burn victim as a youth, John has mastered making lemonade out of lemons. You can find John’s books (great reads), blogs, and other products at https://johnolearyinspires.com

In his September 20th email, John told a story about a young girl he met at a burn camp for children. This courageous girl was burned years earlier, sustaining injuries similar to his, and had lost the fingers on her right hand. Because of that, she wore an oversized sweatshirt at camp to cover the scars on her arm and hide the extent of her injuries. John explains further below.

You don’t have to be a child to know sometimes it feels safer to simply hide scars.

At camp that day, I shared with the kids what I went through as a child and the gifts that came from it. I reminded them of the beauty of scars, the resiliency they possess, and ultimately, that they are being prepared for something bigger and better than they can currently fathom.

Afterwards, this beautiful girl approached in her sweatshirt. She stood in front of me, took a deep breath, then exhaled as she rolled up her sleeves for the first time that week. She then proudly lifted her scarred arm and hand.

You don’t have to be a child to know sometimes it’s liberating to honestly reveal your scars and embrace who you really are.

As we hugged goodbye at the end of that meeting, I told her we weren’t done being friends and the next time I was in her part of the state we were hanging out.

That’s how a few weeks later, at a little restaurant off the interstate, I had the pleasure of reconnecting with this brave girl. Her grandfather sat nearby as we visited about her experiences, what she had endured, the struggles she faced in recovery, the concerns she felt moving forward and the dreams she still had for her life. In other words, we had an awesome visit!

That interaction, with that young girl, reminded me it’s seldom in the massive events and huge gatherings where we change the world. It’s the regular moments, in unexpected spaces, with ordinary people that the best of our work and lives is revealed.

Too often, we race to what we thought was the real work, but it’s seldom found in the big stuff – the big trip, the big project, the big win. No, the best and most meaningful aspects of our lives are discovered in the seemingly ordinary experiences, tender moments of grace, and ordinary human interactions with others throughout the day.

If you want to read John’s post in total, you can read it in full here.

Not only does John’s story speak to the Great Commandments…love God and love others, but it’s the only Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless and remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph 

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Weekly Blog

Mark’s Favorite Quotes (pt. 2)

This week is a continuation of the quotes I have saved on my phone and would like to share for reflection.

“Bringing happiness to others increases your chances of being happy while seeking happiness for yourself decreases those chances”. 

Matthew Kelly

“There is no use in walking anywhere to preach if your walking isn’t your preaching”. 

St. Francis of Assisi 

“If you are humble, nothing will touch you. Neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are”.  

St. Teresa of Calcutta 

“Don’t worry about changing the world. Allow God to change you”. 

Fr. Dave Pivonka, TOR

“Hope is not merely a wish that something good might happen…it is the firm confidence and desire that the promises of God will be fulfilled”. 

Sr. Miriam James Heidland 

“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts”. 

Winston Churchill

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us”. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson 

“You cannot become more like Jesus Christ and at the same time stay as you are”. 

Matthew Kelly

“Pray as though everything depends on God. Work as though everything depends on you”. 

St. Augustine 

“The fruit of silence is prayer. The fruit of prayer if faith. The fruit of faith is love. The fruit of love is service”. 

St. Teresa of Calcutta 

 

The following all have unknown Authors  

“Knowing the Bible is one thing; knowing its Author is another”.

“God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling”. 

“I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know prayer changes us and we change things”. 

 

“Heavenly Father, into Your hands, I place my worries, cares, and troubles. Into Your wisdom, I place my path, my direction, and my goal. Into Your love, I place my life”. 

 

Ten Ways to Love (author unknown)

Listen without interrupting (Proverbs 18)

Speak without accusing (James 1:19)

Give without sparing (Proverbs 21:26)

Pray without ceasing (Colossians 1:9)

Answer without arguing (Proverbs 17:1)

Share without pretending (Ephesians 4:15)

Enjoy without complaint (Philippians 2:14)

Trust without wavering (Corinthians 13:7)

Forgive without punishing (Colossians 3:13)

Promise without forgetting (Proverbs 13:12)

 

Student asks, “Dear God, why do You allow so much violence in our schools?”

God responds, “Dear Concerned Student, I’m not allowed in schools”. 

 

“Coffee is proof of God’s existence”. 

 

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain”. 

 

Feel free to email me back with your favorite quote(s).

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

 

Mark Joseph

 

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Weekly Blog

Secret to Making Others Feel Special 

What is the single greatest way to make someone feel special? Reflect on your interactions. What makes you feel special? What makes your interactions the best they can be? 

For context, with the internet, constant access to wifi and cellular, email, text, and social media, we’re always connected. Yet in today’s world, it seems we’ve never been more isolated. With being so tied to our screens, the art and act of interpersonal communication, one person intimately talking to another, has diminished. My kids are 33, 30, and 27. While incredibly true for their generation and those younger, I think that it’s something that has afflicted almost all of us, no matter our age. 

G.K. Chesterton, in his book St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Francis of Assisi, wrote about St. Francis, “what gave him his extraordinary personal power was this; that from the Pope to the beggar, from the sultan of Syria in his pavilion to the ragged robbers crawling out of the wood, there was never a man who looked into those brown burning eyes without being certain that Francis Bernardone was really interested in him; in his own inner individual life from the cradle to the grave; that he himself was being valued and taken seriously, and not merely added to the spoils of some social policy or the names in some social clerical document”. 

I work at Franciscan University of Steubenville, where our Patron Saint is St. Francis of Assisi. I know of St. Francis for many things, probably most notably him hearing from our Lord, “Go Rebuild My Church”. G.K. Chesterton’s remarks above speak to God’s call on Francis’ life. It’s investing in others, truly connecting with them, that makes the difference. The way we build anything, including organization of people, is one person at a time…one soul at a time. 

My Personal Example 

My Dad, who we lost two years ago next month, had this same gift. He had a compassion and and confidence, especially in others. People felt special when with him; they felt safe. He was other focused, deeply caring about them individually. When you had a conversation with my Dad, you had his full attention. He was locked in on you. This is challenging for many. I’m guilty of not always paying attention, but not him. He made you feel important, valued, and understood. He made you see yourself through his eyes and he saw you with infinite possibility. 

I don’t mean to equate my Dad to St. Francis of Assisi. I sense that like me, canonization isn’t in his future. That said, he had the same gift as St. Francis when it came to his interpersonal interactions. My Mother, Brothers, and I benefited from it…there’s nothing like it. 

Here’s my suggestion to all of us (I’m talking to myself here as much if not more so than you). When talking to someone, anyone, really, really concentrate on them. Zero in. Know the color of their eyes and let them see yours’. Remove the distractions and make them the center of your attention. Really invest. Actively listen (a lost art). Show compassion, truly care. LOVE them!!!

Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. We live in a lonely world, where although very connected, many (maybe most) are isolated. Jesus instructed us to love God, love our neighbors, and share our faith. Be intentional. One on one…let’s get it done. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

A Great Quote from Mr. Rogers

Who among us grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood? I know many of my readers are from the Pittsburgh area, home of Fred Rogers. Even if you didn’t watch his show, which included Chef Brockett and Mr. McFeely, aka Speedy Delivery, most of us knew of him. Mr. Rogers was the creator of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, which ran from 1968 to 2001, as well as the host of all 895 episodes, the composer of its more than 200 songs, and the puppeteer who imagined 14 characters into being. Mr. Rogers was an icon who changed children’s television. 

Related to my source for the Mr. Rogers quote, I have a friend named Ed Blank, who spent 39 years as a drama and movie critic for the Pittsburgh newspapers and television stations. A Vietnam vet, I had lunch with Ed a few weeks ago. Now retired, the stories he told were absolutely enticing and included names like John Wayne, Johnny Cash, Carol Brunette, Burt Reynolds, and many more. I can’t wait to be with Ed again. 

During our lunch, Ed told me a story about Fred Rogers, who became a friend of his. He had overheard Fred say to someone, “remember, there is no such thing as a conflict-free life”. Ed later related that story back to Fred, who had no recollection of it. That didn’t mean it didn’t continue to have an impact on Ed, as it did me.  

“There is no such thing as a conflict-free life”. With the exception of “God loves you unconditionally”, there may not be a truer statement. Conflict can be national or international, like what’s going on in Afghanistan right now…an absolute and arguably avoidable mess. 

Most of the conflict we experience is more personal than global, taking place at home or work, with those we typically interact with most often. Like all other issues in life, the answer is in Scripture or taught by the Church. Related to how we are to handle conflict, check out Matthew 18:15-17. Added to what St. Matthew indicates, I would offer the following points. 

 

There is no such thing as a conflict-free life 

Consistent with Mr. Rogers as quoted by Ed, there is no such thing as a conflict-free life. If that’s your expectation, then you’re in for a hard time. Conflict is a part of life. We’d all do ourselves a favor in learning how to handle it. 

 

Although not all conflict is avoidable, much of it is

By establishing ground rules or expectations up front, so as to make sure there are no misunderstandings after the fact, can go a significant way in minimizing or eliminating conflict. Although not always possible or practical, I like to have things in writing. 

 

Conflict doesn’t have to be confrontational

Many people run from conflict because they think it automatically means confrontation. That is not true. Conflict done the right way is healthy. You could argue that you wouldn’t grow or become a better person without conflict. 

 

Attack the problem, not the person

Be empathetic. Nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care. You can’t be self-righteous and on-the-attack and expect a good outcome. Instead, be invested in resolution and agreement as opposed to being right. Two sayings that come to mind:

  • Hate the sin, not the sinner 
  • Love your neighbor as your self 

 

You can say anything to anyone, as long as you say it softly

Tone is so important. An elevated voice (or perception of one) makes people feel like they’re being attacked. No one responds well to that. Speak softly. Smile. Both go a long way. 

 

Communicate often and early

People don’t like to be surprised. Most are creatures of habit. Most people are planners, albeit sometimes only subconsciously. They don’t like to be left in the dark. They much prefer forewarning. Give people as much advance notice as possible and don’t be surprised by last minute things creating conflict.  

 

Identify to the other person your struggle with the situation

You may say something like, “You know, I’m not very comfortable bringing this topic up to you. The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings or bring conflict between us. The truth is though, you’ve hurt my feelings. I’d love for you to help me talk through this. I’d like to understand what you really meant, in addition to sharing with you how I perceived it. I’m hopeful that we can resolve any issues between us. Are you willing to work through this with me?”

 

Do the above with those closest to you as well

Oftentimes with family (and very close friends), we fear conflict the most. I think that’s because we fear the risk of loss. We also have expectations and often unspoken agendas for those in our inner circle. As such, with emotion we react instead of respond. The suggestions above all work and arguably are most important for those so important to us. 

 

Thank you, Ed, for the story that prompted this blog. By extension, thank you to Mr. Rogers. Both men have stories steeped in life lessons for us.  

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph