Tag: catholic

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Why Do You Second Guess Yourself? 

Why are you unsure of some of your decision? You second guess yourself. You sometimes even beat yourself up over a decision. Why? What’s up with that? 

There are two reasons why the above occurs. One is from our past. While that may imply that there’s nothing to do about it, that’s not the case. The other we can have control over as soon as today. 

The first, first. Not sure if you’re aware of it, but you most probably experienced conditional love when growing up. If you’re like most, you grew to believe that you have to earn the love of others. I like to say, “the more or better you perform, the more love you perceive that you receive”. Make sense? Can you think of an example in your life?

Although I know it occurred throughout my youth and adolescent years, it was really punctuated my senior year of high school, when I played football for our championship team. I can’t imagine how players feel on the collegian or pro level, given my experience as a 17-yearold. My fellow players and me were made to feel like gods…being celebrated on and off the field, individually and collectively. That senior year, I really internalized this…the more praise I got, the more I felt loved. Think about it in your own life. It’s:

  • Not done intentionally
  • Not done with malice
  • Just what happens

My brothers and I couldn’t have had a better upbringing. Yet I walked away from my youth believing for me to be loved and accepted, I needed to perform, to win.

The reality is that we all want to be loved…we want to be accepted. That being the case, as indicated above, we act in ways such that people will affirm us. That includes our decisions. If we don’t receive that affirmation, we second guess ourselves. We may even beat ourselves up. Unfortunately, there’s not the space here to understand how to overcome this. As such, we’d suggest you watch the free webinar we’ll be doing next month. There you’ll get the answer. Promise. More info to follow. 

The second reason why we second guess ourselves is in how we arrive at decisions. I’d suggest that taking such things to prayer changes everything. What? How? Here you go. Try this. It works. 

  • Identify to God whatever is on your heart that day…whatever the issue you’re dealing with or decision you need to make. It could be a current or long-term challenge. It’s your choice. God is interested in whatever you bring to Him. 
  • Detail the situation to God. What is the challenge or opportunity? What are your ideas to address or resolve it? What do you see as the pros and cons to your ideas? Talk through every aspect of the situation with God. 
  • Then just sit in silence, listening for the voice of God to speak to your heart. Be patient. Wait on Him. See what comes to you.
  • Journal as much of the above as you would like, especially how you believe God is speaking to you. 

You want to be sure of your decisions? Take your issues to prayer. Talk to our Lord about them. 

As always, please contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

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Weekly Blog

What “Assume” Really Means

You’ve probably heard before that “assume” means “making an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’”. Well, this past week, I was the “ass”. I made an assumption about someone and something that caused me to respond in a way I now regret.

In the circumstance I’m referring to, the details to which aren’t important here, the person I offended thought he was responding to an invitation by me. Here’s the thing…he was correct. I asked for his opinion and then I got upset when he gave it to me.

What gives? What’s wrong with me? First, I’m human and I’m a sinner, far from being a perfect individual. That said, what just happened has caused me to reflect.

Some observations.

To start, a brief comment about the phrase. When referring to “u” and “me”, the real “ass” is me, the person making the assumption. Although a poor assumption can make a mess out of things for both individuals, it’s the person making the assumption who has egg on his or her face, who’s responsible for the problems caused.

With a simple internet search, I found several articles, one of which by Dr. Marcia Sirota (marciasirotamd.com), who makes the point that “instead of basing our understanding of people and events on what we observe and what we know for a fact, we often prefer to make judgments based on our emotions, beliefs, expectations and wishes”.

She suggests always asking ourselves, “how do I know this?” If the answer to that question is anything other than “I learned it through observing the evidence or through obtaining factual information,” then we’re at risk of making an incorrect assumption.

Why Do We Make Assumptions?

The answer again is…we’re human.

We often jump to conclusions or make an assumption based on our past experiences or perceptions. Although we all do it, I’d like to be doing less of it. I think one thing I can do is ask the question proposed above by Dr. Sirota…”how do I know this?”

To do the above, I need to slow down…and not just “jump”, but ponder and reflect. I can’t be so quick to react, but thoughtfully respond. That said, I think there are two things that cause us to “assume” or jump to conclusions:

  • Pride – defined as a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. Pride expresses itself in “ego”, which is an acronym for “edge God out”.
  • Lack of self-love is related to pride and ego, among other things. Counter intuitive, the less we love or like ourselves, the more important it is for us to be right, to be on top, which expresses itself through pride and ego….in making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

We are all beloved children of God, loved beyond imagine and made for greatness. Central to our calling is to love one another…through patience and kindness. Please join me in trying to no longer be the “ass”, instead of assuming…verifying and instead of reacting…responding.

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistires.com with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Remember…You were Made for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Two Do’s and Don’ts for Everyday

Happy New Year!!! On behalf of Mark Joseph Ministries, I wish you and your family the very best for 2021. In fact, we’d like to help you make it the best year of your life. It’s our prayer that we can do so.

To kick-off the year, I thought that we’d start with some simple things, that can make life better…make us better at life. Here we go.


Photo by Vie Studio from Pexels

Have you ever felt that you’re fairly good at a task, but see something come along that you think can help you improve? That just happened to me. Over a long period of time, I’ve been a good planner, both short and long-term. Having seen an online course put on by someone whose work I really respect, Donald Miller, I decided to take it.

One of many things Donald covered in the course was the notion that we ought to identify and track the 2 things that every day, we want to do and the 2 things that we want to make sure we don’t do. He suggests writing them down and reviewing them (as part of a much broader process) every morning, then checking them off as being completed when done. Donald indicates that his process serves as a reminder as well as sources of affirmation and inspiration.

My suggestion would be to take it to prayer, then writing the things on a small piece of paper, i.e. Post-it note. That way you can look at it while brushing your teeth in the morning and then again before bed.


Photo by Polina Kovaleva from Pexels

My list is below…5 in the affirmative (not meaning to be over-achiever here…they’re the things the Lord put on my heart) and 2 in the negative, although one could be flipped. It includes:

  • Things I do…every day
    • Prayer
    • Go to Mass
    • Serve others
    • Exercise
    • Read
  • Things I don’t do…everyday
    • No negativity towards self or others
    • Don’t miss opportunity to tell/show Cyndi my love

It is said that for a behavior to take hold, you need to do it for 30 days. Are there some new behaviors you’d like to master? Or maybe your list includes things that you do already, but want to now stretch yourself with, or be more consistent. What are your 2-5?

Hope the above is of some help. As always, feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com, with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Remember always…GOD made YOU for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

The Gift of an All Knowing, Ever Present Mentor

If a parent, maybe you can identify with the following. It has been humbling for me to see our three kids, all of whom are now married, go to their spouses for advice instead of me and my wife. I assume I did the same when I newly married. That said, it’s interesting. With all due respect to our two sons-in-law and our daughter-in-law, each of whom we like a great deal, they don’t have our same life experiences.

As interesting is watching our kids as they matured, making the same mistakes we did when we were their age. Again, not unlike us in our youth, they didn’t go to those in the know. If like me, you’ve probably said to yourself or them, “I wish you would have asked me about that”. It’s just part of human nature…to not learn the lesson without making the mistake.

Here are some questions for us to ponder:

  1. How would you feel if you had someone in your life who knew you better than anyone else; knew your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes; what it is you were designed for, your life’s calling?
  2. What if that person were always there for you, always present and never letting you down; constantly there to pick you up no matter how many times you fell down, always helping you course correct and prepare for the future?
  3. What if that person loved you so much that his or her ultimate goal was your happiness, your peace, joy, and fulfillment?
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a mentor like the above? Given my first 57 years, with hindsight what it is, I could have saved myself many, many challenges. Assuming I had the maturity and humility to listen, having an all-knowing, ever-present, all loving-mentor would have been a game changer.

I have some good news and some bad news. Let’s do the bad first. There is no one on this earth, for the history of humanity, who has been capable of 1-3 above. With best efforts and really great people in many of our lives, the above is just an impossibility. Blame it on the human condition.

Here’s the very good news. What is described above in 1-3 does exist in the Person of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

  • As evidenced by His torturous death on the Cross, He loves you unconditionally, wanting the very best for you.
  • It’s scriptural (Jeremiah 1:5 and 29:11, John 10:10) that God His Father, made you for greatness, knowing intimately your every gift and talent.
  • Through His Holy Spirit, He’s always with you…always.

There’s an expression in the recovery program (AA), that I believe can serve all of us, no matter who we are or what our experiences. That is, “let go and let God”. How do we know our Heavenly Mentor….by being in relationship with Him and abiding by His Will. We do that through prayer and the Sacraments (if Catholic), through encounter and community.

Doing the above, which is a function of embracing God’s unconditional love, will result in for you:

  • The unimaginable being achievable
  • Living Heaven here on earth
  • Experiencing true Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

As always, please reach out to me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistires.com, with questions, comments, concerns, challenges and/or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfilment!!!

Mark Joseph