Tag: virtues

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Why Do You Second Guess Yourself? 

Why are you unsure of some of your decision? You second guess yourself. You sometimes even beat yourself up over a decision. Why? What’s up with that? 

There are two reasons why the above occurs. One is from our past. While that may imply that there’s nothing to do about it, that’s not the case. The other we can have control over as soon as today. 

The first, first. Not sure if you’re aware of it, but you most probably experienced conditional love when growing up. If you’re like most, you grew to believe that you have to earn the love of others. I like to say, “the more or better you perform, the more love you perceive that you receive”. Make sense? Can you think of an example in your life?

Although I know it occurred throughout my youth and adolescent years, it was really punctuated my senior year of high school, when I played football for our championship team. I can’t imagine how players feel on the collegian or pro level, given my experience as a 17-yearold. My fellow players and me were made to feel like gods…being celebrated on and off the field, individually and collectively. That senior year, I really internalized this…the more praise I got, the more I felt loved. Think about it in your own life. It’s:

  • Not done intentionally
  • Not done with malice
  • Just what happens

My brothers and I couldn’t have had a better upbringing. Yet I walked away from my youth believing for me to be loved and accepted, I needed to perform, to win.

The reality is that we all want to be loved…we want to be accepted. That being the case, as indicated above, we act in ways such that people will affirm us. That includes our decisions. If we don’t receive that affirmation, we second guess ourselves. We may even beat ourselves up. Unfortunately, there’s not the space here to understand how to overcome this. As such, we’d suggest you watch the free webinar we’ll be doing next month. There you’ll get the answer. Promise. More info to follow. 

The second reason why we second guess ourselves is in how we arrive at decisions. I’d suggest that taking such things to prayer changes everything. What? How? Here you go. Try this. It works. 

  • Identify to God whatever is on your heart that day…whatever the issue you’re dealing with or decision you need to make. It could be a current or long-term challenge. It’s your choice. God is interested in whatever you bring to Him. 
  • Detail the situation to God. What is the challenge or opportunity? What are your ideas to address or resolve it? What do you see as the pros and cons to your ideas? Talk through every aspect of the situation with God. 
  • Then just sit in silence, listening for the voice of God to speak to your heart. Be patient. Wait on Him. See what comes to you.
  • Journal as much of the above as you would like, especially how you believe God is speaking to you. 

You want to be sure of your decisions? Take your issues to prayer. Talk to our Lord about them. 

As always, please contact me at [email protected] with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

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Weekly Blog

The Boiling Frog and the Church

A quick internet search dispels the myth of the boiling frog. Who knew? From Wikipedia, “the boiling frog” is a fable describing a frog being slowly boiled alive. The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death”. Tests indicate that the frog jumps out of the water as the temperature rises and it becomes uncomfortable.

The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of initiatives or threats that arise gradually”. I don’t know about you, but whether a fallacy or not, I feel like the boiling frog of late. Over the course of the last year, particularly related to COVID, but otherwise too, we have witnessed our government take more and more control over our lives, locally and nationally. While the actual health impact of the pandemic can be debated, what can’t be disputed are the changes we’ve been forced to endure, whether related to our:

  • Churches
  • Restaurants
  • Work
  • Schools
  • Stores
  • Gyms

And the list goes on. In the greatest and freest country in world history, under penalty of law (and shame), we are being forced to act a certain way. We continue to destroy lives and livelihoods.

Don’t get me wrong. My wife and I are taking COVID very seriously, following all the protocols, with it dramatically impacting our lives over the last 12 months. Related, many of us are familiar with Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day, where he lives the same day over and over. We were just commenting on us living Groundhog Week, with it being the same week after week after week. Thank God Spring is right around the corner.

It’s not politically controversial to note that the current administration is in favor of greater government control over our lives, given its stated agenda and actions. Our liberties are decreasing. We’re all the boiling frogs while the rich and powerful appear to be getting more rich and powerful.

So, what does the Church have to say about this. Chapter 2, Article 1 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church addresses The Person and Society. Two paragraphs make the primary points:

  • CCC 1881 – Each community is defined by its purpose and consequently obeys specific rules; but “the human person is and ought to be the principle, the subject and the end of all social institutions.
  • CCC 1883 – Socialization also presents dangers. Excessive intervention by the state can threaten personal freedom and initiative. The teaching of the Church has elaborated the principle of subsidiarity, according to which “a community of a higher order should not interfere in the internal life of a community of a lower order, i.e. family, depriving the latter of its functions, but rather should support it in case of need and help to coordinate its activity with the activities of the rest of society, always with a view to the common good.

I’d invite you to read the entire Chapter…find the Catechism on the internet with a quick search if you don’t have a copy.

So, as always, here’s the $64,000 question. What are we to do? Here are some ideas:

  1. Do your own research, identifying the issues. We can’t solve for something we don’t understand.
  2. Pray about it:
    1. What are we witnessing being done by our government versus the teachings of the Church?
    2. What is the Lord calling us to do, collectively and individually?
  3. Take action:
    1. Given your God given talents and treasures, how is our Lord asking you to spend some of your time?
    2. Love God, love others, share our faith

Point 3b speaks specifically to the Great Commandments and the Great Commission, spoken to us by Jesus. My sense is that if we as Christians spent more time on these three things (love God, love others, share our faith), the rest, including everything above, would take care of itself.

As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for Greatness!!!

Mark Joseph

 

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Weekly Blog

Celebration of Marriage and Family 

Photo by Jeremy Wong from Pexels

You may recall me mentioning Mary Kate in past posts. She is the creative genius behind Mark Joseph Ministries, making all of our stuff look so good.

I want to congratulate Mary Kate and Greg, who got married this past Saturday. It was a beautiful wedding…the joining of two wonderful people. Cyndi and I want to wish Mary Kate and Greg much health and happiness for the entirety of their lives. May God continue to bless them on their journey!!!

Given their wedding, I thought I’d take the opportunity to give my slant on the importance of marriage and family. Please note that I come to this topic having been divorced from my first wife. We had several challenges and I definitely was not the husband that I’d be proud of today. There are no winners when it comes to divorce, not husband or wife, nor the kids, who are often the ones hurt the most.

I was very blessed to not only receive an annulment from the Church, but to have found my best friend in the world, my wife of the last 11 years, Cyndi. Believe me when I say that I don’t have it totally figured out (just asked my wife), but now understanding what marriage is to be, I truly try my best every day.

In a document published by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), which I sited a several weeks ago, it indicates that “the family, founded upon marriage, is the basic cell of human society. The role, responsibilities, and needs of families should be central priorities.  Marriage must be defined, recognized, and protected as a lifelong exclusive commitment between a man and a woman, and as the source of the next generation and the protective haven for children. Children, in particular, are to be valued, protected, and nurtured”.

Why is the above so important? I’d suggest we first reference Scripture. In Mark 10:6-9, Jesus says, “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate”.

Blessing of Our Children

In response to His Disciples, who were chastising people for bringing their children to Jesus, He said in Mark 10:14-16, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it. Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them”.

Photo by Jeremy Wong from Pexels

 

Jesus spoke to the importance of marriage and family. Scripture references the topic in other places, i.e. Ephesians, Chapter 5. All of Christianity, including Catholicism emphasizes the critical nature of both. Why?

I think there are two reasons, the first personal. Life is built on relationships and none is stronger or more important than that between spouses. My wife is my best friend. We help each other to be the very best we can be. We in turn try to help our kids, their spouses, and kids, to be the best they can be. There’s no one nor anything more important to us. We’re family.

Second, the family is the foundation of society…the statistics, too many to site here, clearly support its criticality. The healthy family structure, with two parents in the home, is fundamental to success in the numerous ways we can define it. That’s not to say that some families can’t endure separation, i.e. divorce. It is to say that families are much better off when intact (just ask the kids)…and so is society. And that’s coming from a divorced guy.

In celebration of Mary Kate and Greg, let’s salute marriages and families. Let’s pray for them as well. Dear Lord, we ask you to abundantly bless the families of our world, starting with the parents, that they have healthy, happy marriages.

As always, please feel free to reach out to me at [email protected], with your comments, questions, concerns, challenges, and prayer requests.

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

This is the 14th and last week of our program, where we provide Lesson #14, on True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment.

We’ve started several of these lessons with some questions. How about this one? What’s preventing you from experiencing what I refer to as the “Big 3” in your life:

  • Peace
  • Joy
  • Fulfillment

If you’ve hung with us through the first 13 lessons, you know that the primary culprit to not achieving the above three is being overwhelmed. Practically everyone experiences it and in fact very few ever figure out how to overcome it. As explained, the source of us being overwhelmed begins when we’re young…we grow up believing that we have to earn the love of others. That “conditional love” most often turns into lack of self-love, which always leads to fear, preventing us from being, doing, and trying all that we’re called to. As such, regardless of fame or fortune, no matter what the successes, very few of us meet our full potential.

Believing what the world tells us, although our experience indicates differently, we try to fill the god sized hole in the center of our chest with what is never going to make us happy. I refer to them as the 4 Ps, prominence, possessions, pleasure, and people. Overwhelmed and on the hamster wheel of life, we try to make it go faster and faster, pursuing these things that will never bring us peace, joy, or fulfillment.

Photo by Simon Matzinger from Pexels

God is Our Only Answer

The ONLY solution to the above is to understand and internalize God’s unconditional love and forgiveness. This is accomplished through conversion, which begins when we determine that life can be better with Jesus as a part of it as opposed to not…when we turn away from ourselves and towards Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

It’s ONLY when we understand God’s unconditional love, that we come to know three things:

  1. The unimaginable is achievable
  2. We can live Heaven here on earth
  3. There is a distinct Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

It’s the combination of several thing that allow you to come to this place…understanding God’s love, embracing your purpose, exercising your God given talents and desires, knowing you’re made for greatness, and surrendering all to God’s Will. You do these things and you’ll be fulfilled. You’ll experience true peace and have a joy that you’ve never experienced before.

Suggested Actions

So, here’s my suggestion for this week:

  • Go back to Lesson #1, which was emailed to you Wednesday, May 6th. Read and reflect on it, in addition to Lessons #2-14 (emailed every Wednesday) in sequence. Do it in one sitting or over the course of a week.
    • What most speaks to you?
    • What applies to your life’s experiences?
  • During your morning prayer routine this week, think about three things:
    • How have you been overwhelmed in your life?
    • What would it feel like to live a life of Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment?
    • What needs to happen for you to decide to do the latter?
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Thank you for joining us on this 14-week journey. We sincerely hope that you got a lot out of it. If you have ideas on other information or resources that we could offer, that would help you in going from Overwhelmed to Fulfilled, please let us know.

As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment