Categories
Weekly Blog

What Are You Afraid Of?

We all have fears. What are yours’? Have you ever thought about the source of your fears? Or what they’ve prevented you from doing?

I experienced fear for a long time. It was a constant for me, negatively impacting my daily life, my work, my relationships, and even my health, both physically and emotionally.

Living in fear impedes progress in our lives. It stops us from trying new things or taking healthy risks. Self-development requires us to stretch ourselves, to go outside of our comfort zones. It requires risk. We can’t improve the way we’re called to, we can’t grow, we can’t live truly fulfilling lives if we are always in a state of fear.

I’ve learned that if we can name our fears honestly, we can at least begin to overcome them. Here is a list of some of the most common causes of fear. Which seem most applicable to you in your life right now?

Rejection: Everyone wants to belong, to feel loved and accepted. Nobody wants to be rejected.  It is very unhealthy when we value ourselves only through the acknowledgement and acceptance of others. This fear leads us to conform to the way we think others want us to behave, rather than sticking to what we know to be right.

Ridicule: No one wants to be criticized, much less made fun of or laughed at. People want to be respected and acknowledged for what they do and who they are. Ridicule makes us feel stripped of our dignity. Obsessive fear of ridicule can cause us to turn inward, isolate ourselves, and refuse to try new things.

Confrontation: Very few people enjoy confrontation with others, but some are so crippled by the fear of it that they never confront issues. This can lead to a lot of misery, broken relationships, and lost opportunities, because real problems that could be worked through if talked about are never addressed.

Loneliness: Although there are many who have no problem with “alone time,” no one wants to be alone all the time. We’re not built to go through life alone. The fear that no one will love us or stand by us is a very real one for many, and it can be very isolating. It can also keep us from being true to ourselves (our beliefs, values, and desires) because we don’t want to lose the people in our lives.

The unknown: Most people love a certain level of predictability. While we like some excitement in our lives, we resist change. Fear of the unknown relates to loss of control, things becoming unpredictable, and change itself. We fear it because we don’t know what to expect, and we don’t understand how it will impact us. Fearing the unknown keeps us from going out of our comfort zones to become all we’re meant to be.

Failure: No one likes to fail because of what we think failure says about us, i.e. that we’re not good enough or not talented enough. Fear of failure causes us to shut down, to refuse to risk because we don’t want to go through the embarrassment of failing or feeling like we’ve let other people down.  

I would suggest that failure is the thing most of us fear above all else. Why are we afraid to fail?

I think we fear failure because we fear what others will think of us if we fail. We fear that if we aren’t successful in their eyes, then they won’t love us. Diving even more deeply, we fear that if we fail, it proves that we aren’t worth loving at all. This fear keeps us from trying new things, from discovering joy in unexpected places, and from becoming our best selves.

How have you conquered your fears? Let us know your thought at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your journey to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph
Categories
Weekly Blog

What Do You Fear?

Last week, we talked about how conditional love leads to lack of self-love, which then creates a fear within us. This fear prevents us from trying and doing things, using our God given talents, meeting our full potential.  

I made a decision in college which was driven by my fear. I loved my economics courses and although doing well in them, I was really good at accounting. More confident of getting a job in the latter, I chose to major in accounting. In hindsight…definitely a result of my fear.

Then there was the time when my company was in pursuit of the proverbial homerun. It was obvious that if we were successful, that it would take us to a much better, bigger place, changing my life professionally and financially. This is where these concepts all tie together. Given the conditional love I experienced, resulting in my lack of self-love, I had this fear of not succeeding that had a grip on me. I wanted it so badly. Although you couldn’t tell from the outside, it paralyzed me from within, causing me to make some bad decisions. 

Fear Impedes Our Progress

Fear impedes progress in our lives. Think about it. Because of fear, you don’t do things or do them differently than you otherwise would. Therefore, the results you achieve, both good and bad, are different than if you didn’t have the fear. Without the fear, your lessons learned, your progress would be different, arguably better. 

What Are Our Fears? 

Separate from your phobias, i.e., snakes, spiders, heights, elevators, what are your fears? Depending on the resources you look to, the list of most common fears can vary. When writing my book, Overwhelming Pursuit: Stop Chasing Your Life and Live, the list that rang most true to me included:

  • Ridicule
  • Rejection
  • Conflict or Confrontation
  • Unknown (Uncertainty)
  • Loneliness

Reciting the above when giving talks, I always ask the audience which of the most prevalent fears is not among the list. Someone invariably answers….FAILURE. 

Why are we so fearful of failure? 

  • Being rejected
  • Not being liked, being loved
  • Not being good enough
  • Not being liked; not being loved
  • Failure itself – what it says about us

I have a plaque on my desk that reads, “What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?” Think about that for a minute. How would your life be different? I know mine would. How about yours’?

The irony here is that our true friends and those in our family who truly love us will support us no matter what. So will God the Father, who loves us unconditionally, and His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, dare I say our faults and our failings. 

It says 365 times in Scripture some derivative of “be not afraid”. God clearly doesn’t want us to live in fear. Yet most of us live with fears. It used to be true in my life. I thank God for the journey He’s taken me on, which will be shared as we move through this series. 

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.  

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph