We all have fears. What are yours’? Have you ever thought about the source of your fears? Or what they’ve prevented you from doing?
I experienced fear for a long time. It was a constant for me, negatively impacting my daily life, my work, my relationships, and even my health, both physically and emotionally.
Living in fear impedes progress in our lives. It stops us from trying new things or taking healthy risks. Self-development requires us to stretch ourselves, to go outside of our comfort zones. It requires risk. We can’t improve the way we’re called to, we can’t grow, we can’t live truly fulfilling lives if we are always in a state of fear.
I’ve learned that if we can name our fears honestly, we can at least begin to overcome them. Here is a list of some of the most common causes of fear. Which seem most applicable to you in your life right now?
Rejection: Everyone wants to belong, to feel loved and accepted. Nobody wants to be rejected. It is very unhealthy when we value ourselves only through the acknowledgement and acceptance of others. This fear leads us to conform to the way we think others want us to behave, rather than sticking to what we know to be right.
Ridicule: No one wants to be criticized, much less made fun of or laughed at. People want to be respected and acknowledged for what they do and who they are. Ridicule makes us feel stripped of our dignity. Obsessive fear of ridicule can cause us to turn inward, isolate ourselves, and refuse to try new things.
Confrontation: Very few people enjoy confrontation with others, but some are so crippled by the fear of it that they never confront issues. This can lead to a lot of misery, broken relationships, and lost opportunities, because real problems that could be worked through if talked about are never addressed.
Loneliness: Although there are many who have no problem with “alone time,” no one wants to be alone all the time. We’re not built to go through life alone. The fear that no one will love us or stand by us is a very real one for many, and it can be very isolating. It can also keep us from being true to ourselves (our beliefs, values, and desires) because we don’t want to lose the people in our lives.
The unknown: Most people love a certain level of predictability. While we like some excitement in our lives, we resist change. Fear of the unknown relates to loss of control, things becoming unpredictable, and change itself. We fear it because we don’t know what to expect, and we don’t understand how it will impact us. Fearing the unknown keeps us from going out of our comfort zones to become all we’re meant to be.
Failure: No one likes to fail because of what we think failure says about us, i.e. that we’re not good enough or not talented enough. Fear of failure causes us to shut down, to refuse to risk because we don’t want to go through the embarrassment of failing or feeling like we’ve let other people down.
I would suggest that failure is the thing most of us fear above all else. Why are we afraid to fail?
I think we fear failure because we fear what others will think of us if we fail. We fear that if we aren’t successful in their eyes, then they won’t love us. Diving even more deeply, we fear that if we fail, it proves that we aren’t worth loving at all. This fear keeps us from trying new things, from discovering joy in unexpected places, and from becoming our best selves.
How have you conquered your fears? Let us know your thought at [email protected].
God Bless you on your journey to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
