Tag: Relationships

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Week 11# – The Path to Peace

This is the 11th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #11, The Path to Peace. Some questions to consider as we kick this off:

  • Do you have a sense of peace in your life?
  • In reflecting on this program to date, what’s stealing your peace?
  • Who’s stealing your peace?

When you boil it down, my thesis (sounds so official…ha, ha) is that being overwhelmed doesn’t allow us to experience the peace, joy, or fulfillment that God intended for us. I’ve shared the life lessons that have allowed me to go from there to here….by God’s grace.

My experience indicates that a full life, an impactful life, the life all of us really yearn for, includes all three…peace, joy, and fulfillment. That said, it all starts with peace.

Several years ago, in a moment of unconscious competence (they ring as true today as they did then), I defined the Path to Peace as Surrender, Gratitude, Humility, and Love. Although the sequence isn’t absolute, my experience would indicate that there’s something to it. Let’s explore each individually.

Photo by Kourosh Qaffari from Pexels

1) Surrender
First, we cannot control life, no matter how much we try. Many might think that isn’t true. With a good plan and solid people around you, it’s possible to control things. Sure, when it comes to planned events, we have a certain amount of control, as long as we allow for contingencies, but even then, things don’t always go perfectly. In fact, most of life is beyond our control. Other people and their choices and behavior are beyond our control. Tragic events, disease, accidents — these things are all way outside the scope of our control.

Second, we have God, who loves us more than we can imagine, who wants to see us happy, who designed us for a specific purpose, uniquely and individually, who knows best for us — the God who made us for greatness.

So why not surrender to the God of the universe, who is all-powerful, almighty, and all-loving? Instead of conceiving of something on my own, relying on myself to get it done, and then facing the consequences alone, I can choose to follow God’s will, discerning what He wants for my life and particular situations, and relying on Him for whatever happens. I use my unique and God-given gifts to do my very best, leaving everything up to Him and understanding that everything in life is part of His grand plan. As long as I know his love, it just doesn’t matter what others think. All of this takes the pressure off of me…..a big win!!!

2) Gratitude
Be thankful. As important, believe that everything happens for a reason, that there are no coincidences in life. It’s true. Everything is part of God’s grand plan. So, live in a place of gratitude; be grateful for everything that happens, even the crises you experience.

God wants only the very best for us. We can trust that absolutely, regardless of life’s obstacles and challenges. Surrender teaches us to let go of the need to have things our way. Gratitude allows us to look past any short-term pain and be grateful for what God wants to do with it for our good.

Gratitude isn’t just good for the soul, it’s good for the body, too. Experts have indicated the benefits to living a life of gratitude, including being happier, healthier, more optimistic, more spiritual, a better friend, a better boss, etc. A true “attitude of gratitude” is one that allows us to see the hand of God in all things and trust that everything will turn out for our best.

3) Humility
Humility is the opposite of ego, which we previously defined as our false self, the identity that we create that is often very far from the truth of who we are. The truly humble person lives from the truth of who he is and can step back from the chaos of trying to prove himself to others.

A humble person has a sense of self-worth, believes in himself, even loves himself, and doesn’t live in fear. Humility has much to do with self-love. This is because humility helps us know exactly who we are, with all of our weaknesses, yes, and even more with all of our strengths given to us by God. Those who have a healthy self-love, who are humble, have no need to look down on anyone, nor do they look up to anyone except Jesus Christ. We were all created by the same God, with the same perfection, in his image and likeness. To God, we are all “10s”.

A humble person is genuinely happy for others in their successes. He is accepting of others’ ideas and thoughts (accepting doesn’t mean always agreeing), always very willing to engage in dialogue and even friendly debate. The humble person doesn’t always have to be right, doesn’t always have to be in control, doesn’t always have to win. Humility allows us to accept others for who they are, rather than judging them or trying to change them.

Humility means accepting and loving others unconditionally. This does not mean we shouldn’t discern right from wrong, but we must never condemn others. Being humble is understanding that it is only in God working through us that we can perform or achieve anything worthwhile. It is his doing, not ours.

BTW, this isn’t easy stuff. On this journey now for a while, my biggest challenge is humility. It’s that old sin of “pride” that keeps creeping up on me. We’re all a work in process.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

4) Love
The final step (and the ultimate goal of this journey) is love. Above all else, we are called to love. Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, second only to loving God with our whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. We need to love. When we fail to love, we leave those around us empty, and we are empty, too. Yet we certainly can’t love others if we can’t accept them, if we’re always competing with them or judging them. We can’t love them if we always have to be right or always have to be on top.

Without relationships, life is meaningless. True relationship is impossible without love. To love, we need to be vulnerable; we need to trust; we need to care. Having gratitude for the people in our lives is vital to loving them. And gratitude brings joy, which is also essential to love.

As I have learned since my conversion, you cannot truly love others unless you first love yourself. It can be a slow journey, but practicing surrender, gratitude, and humility strengthens and confirms us in who we are, which opens us up to loving ourselves and others.

Suggested Actions
This blog has been longer than most in this series. As such, let’s wait till this Friday’s video, where I’ll share suggested actions you can take to get on and stay on the Path to Peace.
Please join us next Wednesday for Week #12 when we talk about Finding Your Purpose. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Week #9 – Forgiving and Healing

This is the 9th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #9, Forgiving and Healing. It’s interesting…no matter who I talk to, it seems this is a critical part to their journey. Some questions to consider as we kick this lesson off:

  • What is eating at you? What bothers you on a regular basis?
  • Are there things that you regret that took place in your life? By you? By someone else?
  • What feelings do these circumstances create within you?

In past lessons, we’ve discussed how tragedies occur in our lives, a universal truth. We also talked about how we’re sometimes hurt by others. Both create wounds.

An important part of our spiritual journey is healing from those wounds. Often much easier said than done, it takes time. And although it’s said that time heals all wounds, I needed to bring intentionality to it…it wasn’t going to happen on its own.

My Experience of Forgiving

My experience would indicate that healing has much to do with forgiving. Interestingly, for me to forgive others, I first needed to forgive myself. WHAT? Yea, for me to forgive other people, I first needed to go through the process, albeit painful, of forgiving myself. Once I did, I was able to own up to my role in the circumstances, not gratuitously but substantively. With that “power”, from a position of strength, I could now genuinely forgive.

BTW, forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the behavior of others. Although we are called to be charitable and compassionate, we can’t own others’ faults and failings. We can find in Scripture why we are called to forgive, which we’ll discuss in this Friday’s video.

Photo by Norbert Kundrak from Pexels

Sometimes It’s Not Our Fault

Be clear, I am aware that some tragedies, some hurts are NO fault of ours’. Although reflection of self is always part of the process, healing from these things involves additional principles. Sorry, but we unfortunately don’t have the time here to discuss the healing required for “no fault” healing. If you’d like more information, please reach out to me.

The truth is….there is no way to live a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment without healing from the wounds created from our tragedies and hurts.

Suggested Actions

How do we heal from our wounds? How do we forgive?

  • Think about doing the following things:
    • Bringing someone along side you, i.e. therapist, Priest or other Religious, mentor, friend (very much helps if the person has experience and can be objective)
    • Spending dedicated time thinking/praying:
      • Look at it from the other person’s perspective
      • Try to find the positive in what transpired, including lessons learned
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • Try to be in a place of gratitude, thanking God for everything that’s taken place in your life. What positive thing from that tragedy would not be present in your life today?
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #10 when we talk about our Becoming the Best Possible You. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Weekly Blog

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love

This is the 8th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #8, Discovering God’s Love. This is where everything changes…where you begin transforming the challenges of life into true Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment. It all starts here.

The first 7 of these 14 lessons, much like the first half of my book, covered the challenges we have in life and how they overwhelm us…from growing up believing that we have to earn the love of others to that manifesting itself in us having lack of self-love, and living out of our fears. We’re wounded by others hurting us, in addition to the tragedies we experience, often creating resentments. We end up looking for happiness in the wrong places, creating false gods along the way.

In the past 7 lessons, I’ve made recommendations as to how you can overcome each of the above. While each of the things I’ve suggested have worked for me, each is rooted in the following truth…

God loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done.

Let that sink in.

  • God loves you more than you’ll ever know,
  • No matter what you’ve ever done

Knowing this, internalizing it, changes everything in your life. It’s not that you need to be worthy…you’re wanted. You’re chosen. God our Father loves you unconditionally; He forgives you unconditionally.

Photo by Laura Allen on Unsplash

God’s love is so great, that He gave His only begotten Son to die for your sins. Jesus Christ, our Savior, innocent of all, willingly allowed Himself to be killed on the Cross for you. In fact, Jesus loves you so much, that if you were the only person on this earth, He would have still endured that same tortious crucifixion just for you.

There’s only one way we come to understand this very true reality…and that’s through conversion. My conversion changed my life forever. I got there through the tragedy I endured. Others get there in other ways. Regardless of the path, here are the lessons learned.

In understanding and internalizing the unconditional love and forgiveness of God, you know that:

  • The unimaginable is achievable
  • You can live Heaven here on earth
  • There is a very specific path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

My greatest prayer, the thing I take to our Lord every single day, it that EVERYONE comes to a place of understanding and internalizing the unconditional love of God. As stated above, it changes everything.

Suggested Actions

So, how do you come to know the love of Christ? How do you achieve conversion? Again, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life. Going from overwhelmed to peace, joy, and fulfillment, which is the purpose of this program and my book, can’t happen overnight. It’s a process that is much more than simply flipping a switch. With that, the process all starts with conversion. I suggest:

  • Do what speaks to you below (all of which can be found on page 71 of my book):
    • Pray for your conversion on a regular basis. It is a gift from God, and he wants to give it more than you want to receive it.
    • Remind yourself often of the unconditional love of God for you. Even if you don’t feel it, tell yourself, “God loves me unconditionally.” Let yourself believe it (there is nothing more true).
    • Pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit to lead you to conversion.
    • If you are Catholic, participate in the sacraments, especially confession and the Mass. I also suggest praying in front of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.
    • Engage with a spiritual mentor, such as a priest, religious sister, deacon, pastor, or another wise person in your life who can work and pray with you.
    • Find a friend who is on the journey, who is willing to come along side you, to love you, coach you, and share with you.
    • Read Scripture and do other spiritual reading, especially on conversion and the love of God for us.
    • Seek out and participate in a vibrant Christian community; attend religious events and retreats.
    • Listen to inspiring talks and beautiful, uplifting music
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • Visualize and meditate on Jesus on the Cross. Pray through the love that took from our Savior. Pray on the fact that love exists for you today
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #9 when we talk about FORGIVENESS AND HEALING, both critical to our journeys forward. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Week #7 – Wounds and Resentments

This is the 7th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #7, on our wounds and the resentments they create. So, here are some questions to consider:

  • Have you ever been hurt by someone in your life?
  • Have you experienced tragedy, that has left you wounded?
  • If either of the two above, how has it impacted your life?

As discussed last week, tragedy is universal. It happens to all of us. The same is true for people hurting us. We’re all sinners. Sometimes it’s done with malice. Most often not, but the pain is none the less.

If hurts or wounds stay with us long enough, they become personal. If personal long enough, we often build up resentments. Have you ever heard the expression, “resenting someone is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die”? It doesn’t work. Believe me. I’ve tried…it doesn’t work.

Here’s the thing….when I harbor resentment, the only person it really hurts is me. Even if the other person knows of the situation and feels its repercussions, the impact pales in comparison to the impact on me.

My Wounds and Resentments

For quite a while, I was overwhelmed by my wounds and resentments, almost in disbelief that these seeming “injustices” could have happened to me.

  • My first wife’s long struggle with alcoholism
  • The dramatic impact the addiction had on our family
  • The loss of my business
Photo by Matthias Zomer from Pexels

I experienced a range of emotions — sadness, despair, doubt, fear — and I remember being angry and bitter almost on a constant basis. It was real. It was penetrating. And it hurt. I felt very isolated, embarrassed to share the details with anyone. It was the most depressing time of my life.

Solving for the Pain

There is at least partial truth to the saying that time heals all wounds. It was true for me. As time went on, the pain did diminish, and healing did begin to set in. That said, time alone would not have moved me past my many hurts.

It was critical that I take ownership of my role in each of the painful circumstances, recognizing that I bore real responsibility for what had happened to me. And that difficult realization took time. My old wounds of low self-esteem and low self-worth added to the pain of these wounds and fostered a lot of resentment. It wasn’t until I started the challenging process of fixing myself, and yes, forgiving myself, that I could humbly acknowledge my role in my circumstances.

Suggested Actions

So, what do we do about it? As indicated, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including overcoming your wounds and resentments. That said, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • What was your role in what took place?
    • Were there lessons learned that you can take into other circumstances?
    • Beginning to understand that everything takes place for a reason, is there an element of gratitude you can find in what transpired?
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • In meditating on what occurred, try to forgive the other person, recognizing that resentment only hurts you.
    • Try to forgive yourself too, mindful of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness for you
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #8 when we talk about DISCOVERING GOD’S LOVE. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph