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What to do with Regret

We’re told we can expect two things in life, death and taxes. I often say a third we all experience is human tragedy. It doesn’t skip any of us…doesn’t matter our race or religion, gender, genetics, or socioeconomics. It could be something global like war, terrorism, or a natural disaster. Or it could be much closer to home like death of a loved one, divorce, addiction, or financial hardship. All of us are subject to it. 

One of the other things we all experience, I guess the 4th, is regret. If you’re human, you have regret. If you’re like me, you have regret. Regret is different than resentment, which is most often towards someone else….we typically resent others for offenses committed against us. 

Regret is a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, or disappointment. It’s typically what we feel when we’ve done something we wish we could take back…get a “do over”. It could be that we regret something that made a negative impact on us. More common I think is when we hurt someone else. Often times we’ve not done it intentionally. 

Bracketing my life in 10-year increments, I can remember regrets in every decade of my life. When I was single and married. Things I’ve done to my spouse, my kids, parents, siblings, and friends. Even collogues at work or mere acquaintances. Still to this day, I can’t tell you how many times I’d like to pull the words back in my mouth. Ouch!!!

So what do we do with it? You may have heard of Fr. Mike Schmitz. He’s not only a wildly popular speaker for our Steubenville Conferences, but the most popular Catholic podcaster there is, doing both the Bible in a Year and the Catechism in a Year. Not to my surprise, he has some great thoughts on regret. I’d suggest listening to his 8-minute talk here. In summary, he says, 

Have you ever heard the saying “don’t regret the past, because it’s made you into the person you are today?” While there’s truth to this saying, there’s also something that we as Christians should be aware of…we make mistakes, do things we wished we hadn’t, hurt those we love in the process.

While we don’t want to be burdened by the mistakes we’ve made, it’s safe to say that all of us have done things that didn’t make us the people God wants us to be.

Fr. Mike goes on to say…There’s a difference between regret and repentance, and it can best be seen when comparing St. Peter to Judas. Both men sinned gravely against the Lord: Peter denying Him during the time of His Passion and Judas delivered Him to crucifixion. The difference is, where Peter regretted his sins and repented, Judas let his sin consume him.

It’s okay to regret the things we’ve done in the past that took us away from the path of God, but we can’t dwell in this regret. Instead, we have to do something about it. We have to repent. Repentance is what gives us the strength to forgive ourselves and continue striving for the kingdom of Heaven. When we repent, we surrender ourselves and our mistakes to the Lord, and then He can use those mistakes to glorify our lives. God can use everything—even our worst sins—for our path towards eternity. Nothing given to God is ever wasted.

To me, repenting is authentically being remorseful (even apologizing) and trying to change….making improvements to who you are. 

At work we say the Divine Mercy Chaplet every day at 3PM.

One of the closing prayers reads as follows: Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.

God’s mercy is endless and He loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done. He forgives you that much. We need to forgive ourselves.

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with comments, concerns, questions, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for Greatness!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

The Journey Isn’t Easy

Have you ever been in a rut, maybe for an extended period of time? I feel like that’s me. As I’ve expressed previously, it’s been a tough couple years professionally while our conference ministry is still recovering from COVID, especially the last 12 months. Recently I’ve been reminded of some lessons, principally the importance of:

  • Humility
  • Gratitude
  • Love 

Humility

Pride is considered one of the gravest of sins. And it’s certainly the root of most evil. Pride impacts our thoughts, decisions, responses (reactions), and actions. It’s not something we necessarily express or experience intentionally but develops in us over time. Pride creates in us this feeling that we’re always right…and when not agreed with, believing we’re under attack. 

Humility is the opposite of pride. In short, it’s understanding that there’s only one God and we’re not Him. To me, it’s internalizing that it’s not us in doing the things we do, but God working through us. Our gifts and talents are given to us by Him. He calls us to live out a specific purpose on this earth. We need to rely on Him, His Will for what that is and what we do. All of this is related to humility. 

These concepts don’t easily play themselves out in the moment, during the occasional tough conversations we have. I know that’s true for me. Btw, my biggest sin of my past was pride. I’m finding I’m still pretty good at it today…something I’m not proud of (no pun intended). Prayer is so important, as is study of our faith, and interacting with others on this journey. 

Gratitude

We’ve discussed it before…it’s so important to have an attitude of gratitude. It helps us with humility and fighting against pride. Before I go to bed, I’ve reestablished the habit of thinking through my day and being grateful for all the things that occurred…taking them to prayer.   

As related to potential pride and lessons learned, what is God trying to teach me (you) through challenging times? This has been something I’ve been struggling with. Pride can lead to self-pity…not a good characteristic. In faith, we need to understand that all things contribute to who God is making us to be, who He’s calling us to be. 

There are a couple expressions my wife and I really love: 

  • “You are where you are because that’s where you’re supposed to be”
  • “No matter where you go, there you are”

It’s every single experience or occurrence in our lives that makes us who we are today. Although it would be nice to be able to do so, you can’t carve out one here or there and still be you. Be grateful…I’m trying to do so daily. 

Love

I like to say that it’s in understanding and internalizing the unconditional love of Christ, that the unimaginable is achievable, we can live heaven here on earth, and there’s a path to peace, joy, and fulfillment. I still believe this to my core, but it’s not one and done. Ongoing conversion is a real thing, a needed thing. 

Born out of God’s love for us, we need to love Him and love others. Matthew Kelly talks about the concept of “holy moments”, which are all the ways to love others. I just watched a video by Fr. Mike Schmitz where he said, “we never need permission to do good”. He followed that up with, “be a person of hope”. Love, love, love them. 

It’s a Journey

Like you, I’m engaged in our faith. I’ve made progress on this journey, all by God’s grace. Yet I’ve still been struggling. As I just said above, it’s not one and done. For us to have a joy independent of substance or circumstance, we need to cling to the Cross. For me, I’ve had to double down on the faith related things I’ve been doing, including surrounding myself by the right type of people, brothers in Christ who speak truth into my life. 

We all fall down…and Jesus is always there to pick us up. We just need to “ask”. 

As always, please email me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, concerns, comments, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for Greatness!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What Satan Doesn’t Want You to Know

You were made for Greatness; God made you for Greatness. Three of many, many examples from Scripture include:

  • Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And before you went forth from the womb, I sanctified you. And I made you a prophet to the nations”.
  • Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.
  • John 10:10 – Jesus said, “I have come so that they may have life, and have it more abundantly”.

Did you know that you were made for greatness? Have you ever heard (or read) it before…and if so, was it ever detailed for you? Do you know what greatness means for you? Do you know how to achieve it? Do you know the process for identifying it in yourself and for your life?

Satan’s Plan for Your Life

Or like most, is it Satan’s plan for your life that you have a clearer understanding of, that of the secular world, which would have you believe that your greatness can be found in what I refer to as the 4 Ps:

  • Prominence
  • Possessions
  • Pleasure
  • People (using them, not authentic relationship)

Matthew Kelly, who I’ve noted before as one of my favorite Catholic authors and speakers, has a line which I love repeating. It goes something like…

You can never have too much of what you really don’t need.

Think about that in your life. Take it to prayer (seriously). If we’re honest, none of the 4 Ps make us happyNone of them fulfill us.

Satan definitely wants you to believe in the 4 Ps, striving to achieve them at all costs. What he doesn’t want you to know (or believe in) is the truth below…because if you do, he won’t be able to succeed in his primary strategies of division, deceit, and destruction.

God’s Plan for Your Life

Here’s the truth. God loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done. Think about that in your life. Take it to prayer (seriously). He conceived of YOU thousands and thousands of years ago…

  • Making you with a very specific purpose
  • With special gifts and talents
  • He doesn’t make junk; He doesn’t make mistakes – YOU’RE a “10”
  • He made you in His image and likeness
  • God made you according to His grand plan, individually and as part of all of humanity
  • God wants you to be happy; He wants you to be fulfilled
  • God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Greatness can only be achieved in realizing and living your God-given purpose, coupled with using (maximizing) your God-given gifts and talents. You see…you weren’t a mistake; you weren’t an accident, nor any kind of coincidence. You were very intentionally conceived of thousands of years ago, put on this earth for a specific reason, part of God’s grand plan. And participating in that plan is the ONLY way for you to have a life of Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment.

So say “yes” to Jesus. Engage, internalize, and abide in Christ’s love. Your life will never be the same. Satan will have lost. And you will have won, knowing the love of Jesus Christ and living the Will of God.

As always, feel free to reach out to me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Everyone Struggles with Prayer…How ‘bout You?

Most people struggle with prayer. I did for a long time and having come a long way, I still do, wanting to get better, wanting to connect in a more meaningful way to God.

There are numerous ways to pray and an endless number of books on how to do it. Acronyms are employed as reminders, i.e. ACTS…Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. There’s rote prayer, praying through Scripture, i.e. Lectio Divina, meditation, contemplative, etc.

In reading my book or blogs, you know that the only way to lead a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment is to say “yes” to Jesus Christ and living the will of God. To know God’s will means that we need to be in relationship with Him. That relationship exists in the Sacraments and in prayer.

Keeping it simple, I advocate three types of prayer. Now please don’t get overwhelmed. You don’t have to be doing all three in one sitting or even every day. Like with anything new (if it is new to you), you can start slowly and build from there. I do all three mostly every day, which I’ll explain below. With the way I do them, none are a heavy lift. The three include:

  1. Reading Scripture
  2. Rote Prayer
  3. Daily Dialogue with God

Reading Scripture
There’s an expression that I like to quote in my talks, “it’s one thing to know the Bible, it’s another to know its Author”. The only way to get to know God the Father, Jesus Christ our Savior, and the Holy Spirit who dwells within each of us, is to read Scripture.

I go to Mass daily, so I’m hearing the readings, which come from Scripture during the Mass. In getting to Mass early, I read the Scripture readings ahead of time, meditating on one prior to Mass. When meditating, I think of two things:

  1. What would I do if I were part of the circumstances at the time?
  2. How is it relevant in my life today?

If you aren’t a daily Mass goer, you can still access the daily reading for your review. I have them emailed to me daily from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). They are available on apps like Laudate, Truth and Life.

Another idea is to get a Bible (physical or app) and just start reading it. I’d recommend starting with the New Testament, specifically the four Gospels. Just read as much as you’d like in a sitting. It can be a couple verses or an entire chapter. For what you read, pray through questions #1 and 2 from above.

Rote Prayer
I say the same rote prayers every day. They include:

  • Our Father
  • Hail Mary
  • Glory Be
  • Serenity Prayer
  • Prayer I wrote that speaks to my journey and spirituality. You can find it at (past blog).

The difference between when I learned each of these and now is that today I say each one very slowly, hanging on and praying through each word. I always start with the Our Father and often have to say it 2 or 3 times in order to slow my mind down enough to pray through every word. You’d be amazed how your prayer life changes when you pray these prayers like that.

Little hint…I say these rote prayers during my morning commute, instead of listening to the radio (which is always set for Christian music btw).

Image by Aaron Burden from Unsplash

Daily Dialogue with God
I’d not suggest doing this while driving down the road. Instead do it in a place where you can concentrate on what you’re doing and where you’re in a position to write things down. Although I’d recommend 10 minutes a day, start with 5 if you’d like. You can build up to 10 and go beyond that if you feel called to.

Going to Mass daily, I typically make sure I show up early so that I can get my 10 minutes in before Mass. Although I do it at home occasionally, my absolute best prayer time is in Church, in front of Jesus in the Eucharist…bar none. So that’s where I typically do it. The process is as follows:

  • Identify to God whatever is on your heart that day. It could be a dream, desire, or aspiration. It could be a fault or failing, a current challenge, or another person who is struggling. It’s your choice. God is interested in whatever you bring Him
  • Typically in silence, detail the situation to God. Unpack the issue for Him. What is the challenge or opportunity? What are your ideas to address or resolve it? What do you see as the pros and cons to your ideas?
  • Then just sit in silence, listening for the voice of God to speak to your heart. Be patient. Wait on Him. See what comes to you.
  • Journal as much of the above as you would like, especially how you believe God is speaking to you.

The above works; it really works. Every time I do it, it works. If there’s one part of my prayer life that drops off occasionally, this is it. I typically do it at least 4-5 days a week. Interestingly, it’s what I have to work the hardest to do and it’s the most gratifying when I do it. It always works.

As always, please contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, or challenges.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph