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Week #2 – Having to Earn the Love of Others

This is the 2nd of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #2, Having to Earn the Love of Others. So here are some questions to consider:

  • When growing up, do you remember times when performing well made you feel more loved?
  • Or how about when you failed at something or perceived that you failed, did you feel less loved?
  • Although you don’t do it intentionally (none of us do), do you treat people differently based on their performance, i.e. your kids, coworkers

The most glaring example of this issue in my life was winning the high school football championship my senior year. No matter where my teammates and I went, we were treated like heroes, like gods. Regardless of whether it was the school administration, our teachers, and classmates, or family…parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, the media, friends outside of school, or the broader community…we were celebrated for our successes individually and collectively.

Having come from an incredibly loving home, the above made me feel more loved based on my success, us winning. Think about it in your own life. Based on my research, I’m quite sure you’ve experienced it.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

No Malice Intended

It’s not done intentionally or with malice. Most of us had good upbringings. That said, most also grow up believing, based on our lived experiences, that we have to excel to be loved. Stated another way, we fear that if we don’t perform well, we won’t be loved. And at a fundamental level, we all want to be loved; we all want to be accepted.

As we’re going to learn in future lessons, believing that we have to earn the love of others isn’t a good thing. It drives behaviors related to our own self-development, in addition to the way we treat others, that aren’t healthy. 

Suggested Actions

As indicated, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including feeling the need to earn the love of others. That said, as we move through these 14 lessons, I’m going to give you things that helped me in my life.

Specific to this lesson, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Take them to prayer. Reference Daily Dialogue with God at this past blog for guidance. We can only understand an issue if we identify it. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • How did “earning the love of others” occur in your life?
    • How are you seeing it occur in others’ lives?
    • What do you think the impact was then?
    • How has what occurred then impacted you now?
  • We need to learn to separate our role (carpenter, banker, electrician, dietician, teacher) from our identity (loved children of God). Think and pray about the following:
    • God does not call us because we are worthy, but because we are wanted.
    • God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called.
    • St. Augustine wrote, “God loves each of us as if there was only one of us to be loved”.
  • During your morning prayer routine (from last week), in addition to taking your worries and stresses to the Lord, asking for His peace, also bask in His love. You can meditate on each of the phrases just above, in addition to “I am a loved child of God”.
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #3 when we talk about lack of self-love. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Weekly Blog

What Does the NFL Draft Have to do with Easter Sunday?

Prior to the inaugural National Football League (NFL) draft in 1936, players were free to sign with any club, which made the stronger teams even stronger and created much disparity. On May 19th, 1935, the league owners adopted a plan for a college player draft. Proposed by Bert Bell, the Eagles owner and future NFL commissioner, the plan called for teams to select players in inverse order of their finish the previous season.

Starting with 9 rounds in 1936, it expanded to 10 and eventually 20, before being reduced back down to 12 rounds, which it has today. In massively meeting its objective of parity between teams, it was adopted by all the other leagues, i.e. MLB, NHL, NBA, changing sports universally. For the NFL, it’s become a HUGE event, with literally millions tuning in every year.

Image by the Post Gazette

NFL teams over the years have built their success on the draft and the great picks they’ve made, whether it be San Francisco in the 80s, Dallas in the 90s, or numerous other teams during the league’s history. Without question, the first to do it with such great success was the Pittsburgh Steelers, under coach Chuck Noll. Before free agency, the dynasty that won four Super Bowls in the 70s, did it entirely on the strength of the draft, with Hall of Famers from the first round that include Terry Bradshaw, Joe Greene, Franco Harris, and Lynn Swann. Add to the list other Steeler Hall of Famers from the 70s…Stallworth, Webster, Ham, Lambert, Blount, and Shell.

Forgive me for this walk down memory lane, but growing up in Pittsburgh, in the 70s was a special time for Steeler fans. It was incredible to be part of it Sunday after Sunday, Super Bowl after Super Bowl.

So what is it about the NFL Draft, that will take place between tomorrow, April 23rd, and Saturday, April 25th that reminds me of Easter? I think the answer is “hope”. Think about it. Regardless of the team you root for, no matter the sport, when it comes to the annual draft, you anxiously wait, or at least are interested in, who the first several picks will be. Particularly when it comes to your team, you wonder what impact the player is going to have. You’re hopeful that it will be positive and significantly so. You have hope for the future (of your team), yet there is still the unknown. Will the draft choice develop into a star? Will the team perform well?

Image by DesignPics

I hope (no pun intended) you don’t think poorly of me because of this analogy, but I think the above relates to Easter Sunday. Jesus’ resurrection gives us hope. Knowing how Jesus had to love us to die on the Cross, gives us hope. Our faith gives us hope. Although we “know” the end of the story, that we won, that Jesus promises us salvation, there’s still the unknown. Although we have hope, we have questions like:

  • Will I go to Heaven? How do I get there?
  • What type of life am I to live on earth?
  • What’s my purpose? My call?

In short, it’s up to you. Ironically, you can gain salvation by living Heaven here on earth. That’s done by loving God, loving your neighbor, embracing your God given purpose, and following God’s will….which is the ONLY path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment.

So like with the NFL draft, where we have hope yet uncertainties, the same is true in knowing that Jesus rose from the dead. Unlike the draft though, when it comes to Jesus’ Resurrection and its impact on your life, it’s all up to you.

As always, feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with comments, questions, or concerns.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Three Benefits of Social Distancing

In listening to the White House Coronavirus Task Force, social distancing is staying at least 6’ away from others. A quick internet search indicates other examples as:

  • Working from home instead of at the office
  • Closing schools or switching to online classes
  • Visiting loved ones by electronic devices instead of in person
  • Cancelling or postponing conferences and large meetings

It turns out that social distancing wasn’t developed specific to Coronavirus, but instead has been a public health practice for years, for highly contagious diseases. A potential silver lining in the current health crisis is that people may gain positive habits, i.e. better hygiene, that prevent the spread of disease. This could help in relation to the flu and the common cold. We can hope.

Photo by Bongkarn Thanyakij from Pexels

Cyndi, my wife, and I have been taking all of this seriously. With the exception of our Sunday drives and occasional walks outside, we’ve now not left the house for 17 days. As empty-nesters, we don’t have the challenge of occupying the attention of or educating our kids. Both accustomed to working from home, we continue with our regular activities. And to be honest, being stuck together has helped us grow in our relationship (not that we were having issues…at least I don’t think so…I’ll have to ask her).

Speaking of relationships, I’ve come to say that with the advent of smart phones, although we’ve never been more connected, we’ve never been more isolated. Statistically very true, while we have fewer friends today than we did years ago, a number of stats are up, including those who are lonely, depressed, addicted, suicidal…and the list goes on. An interesting insight is that with so many people looking at their screens all the time, even in the presence of other people, you could argue that social distancing has been being practiced well in advance of COVID-19.

To me, there are three benefits to social distancing. Let’s see what they are.

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

Relationship Intentionality
Not only are Cyndi and I spending more time talking, but we’re being more intentional with talking to our kids, our mothers, and others. One example is my brothers and me talking and texting more often, not only about the crisis, but checking in on one another and our families. In addition to checking in with and having lengthier conversations with each of our kids, we did a 4-way FaceTime the other night, for an hour. We laughed with and at each other….just like being in the same room.

Time for Prayer
Although most people reading this blog understand the importance of their relationship with God, some (maybe a majority) struggle with prayer, including me. Always faithful to my rote prayer, it’s my quiet time with the Lord which is off and on. Starting a week ago this past Sunday, given the 1/2-hour commute to work I’m not making, I’ve forced myself to spend that 1/2-hour with God. It looks like this:

  • Rote Prayer – 5 minutes
  • Read and meditate on Scripture – 5 minutes
  • Thinking and praying for people in my life – 5 minutes
  • Thinking and praying about a current challenge – 10 minutes
  • Thinking and praying about my schedule for the day – 5 minutes

With the times above varying from day to day, my time with Jesus has been very meaningful and a great way to start each day. Assuming Coronavirus lasts long enough, I may just create a habit here.

Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash

Discipline to Exercise
Although I’ve always been an avid exerciser, I’ve stepped up my game during this time, as have many that I’ve spoken to. Being home all day, not having the opportunity to be out or walk around, is a real incentive. If you don’t have equipment in your house, a quick internet search can provide plenty of guidance (email me if you need some help). Taking a nicely paced walk can be good exercise too…good for the relationship too, just maintain your social distancing.

Doing the above is taking care of yourself the way God intended, all things that will make you healthier, including the spiritual, and happier.

As always, feel free to get back to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

P.S. For resources that can help you on your faith journey, while practicing social distancing, you can go to The Upper Room.

P.P.S. While waiting for the crisis to end, you can pick what conference you want to go to this summer on the Steubenville Conferences page.

P.P.S. And if you’re looking to participate in a “virtual” small group so as to maintain your social distancing, check out Discipleship Quads.

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Weekly Blog

Patrick Mahomes is a Great Quarterback (and a Committed Christian)

Patrick Mahomes is a tremendously talented quarterback and a strong Christian as well. Please indulge me for a second as I draw some comparisons and make a few observations.

When I turned my book manuscript into my editor at Our Sunday Visitor, it contained 59,000 words. She returned it to me with 26,000 words, indicating that I needed to figure out a better way to state an additional 12,000-14,000 words. It was a humbling experience.

Part of what she cut out was my reference to the wildly successful NFL quarterbacks that are from the Pittsburgh area. The list includes:

  • George Blanda
  • Johnny Unitas
  • Joe Namath
  • Joe Montana
  • Dan Marino
  • Jim Kelly

All six of the above are in the NFL Hall of Fame. Add to the list Terry Bradshaw and Ben Roethlisberger, current and soon-to-be Hall of Famers, together responsible for six Pittsburgh Steeler Super Bowl championships.

Image by Jasmine Goldband from Trib Total Media

My point in the book was going to be that all of these quarterbacks consistently exuded a confidence, a comfort level, irrespective of their performance on a play by play basis. Regardless of whether they may have thrown a bad pass or an interception or two, or whether they were down by three touchdowns, they’d have no hesitation or lack of confidence. They’d throw the next ball, then the next ball, followed by the next ball, often times winning the game.

Not knowing where any of these great quarterbacks were or are on their faith journeys, I drew the comparison to those who truly understand the love of Christ, surrendering all to Him, understanding in humility that it’s not us, but Him working through us…not caring what others think, using our God given gifts, with Holy Spirit boldness, being all that God calls us to be.
There’s a freedom in the surrender, in the humility. Relying on the Lord, it takes the pressure off. It’s where greatness lies.

Image by David Eulitt from Getty Images

Patrick Mahomes plays as described above from both perspectives. The Kansas City Chiefs came from behind in their final three games of the season, both playoff games and the Super Bowl. As you might imagine, Patrick was instrumental in each victory. In the Super Bowl, he had thrown 2 interceptions before rallying the team to victory and being named the MVP.

Obviously incredibly skilled, evidence of the second point above is well documented. Mahomes has said his faith is a big part of his life and keeps him grounded. Becoming committed to his Christian walk in middle school, Patrick is quoted as saying to ESPN, “My faith has always been a big part of what I do… I’ve grown up in church and faith really helps you know why you’re playing the game, and who you’re doing it for”.

In many interviews, he credits God, especially related to awards he receives or milestones he achieves. I saw an interview where Patrick talked about his weekly faith routine, namely never missing Weekly Bible Study or Team Chapel on Saturday nights. He also spoke about his pregame routine of praying while walking the field.

Patrick is obviously very talented and well prepared for each game. He’s incredibly exciting to watch play the game he loves, now a Super Bowl MVP and Champion. What’s very nice to know is what a good and humble guy he is, so committed to his Christian faith. Praise God!!!

What other public figures do you know who wear their faith on their sleeve? Feel free to shoot me a note on that or any other questions, challenges, or comments at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph