Tag: Overcome

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Weekly Blog

Why Do You Second Guess Yourself? 

Why are you unsure of some of your decision? You second guess yourself. You sometimes even beat yourself up over a decision. Why? What’s up with that? 

There are two reasons why the above occurs. One is from our past. While that may imply that there’s nothing to do about it, that’s not the case. The other we can have control over as soon as today. 

The first, first. Not sure if you’re aware of it, but you most probably experienced conditional love when growing up. If you’re like most, you grew to believe that you have to earn the love of others. I like to say, “the more or better you perform, the more love you perceive that you receive”. Make sense? Can you think of an example in your life?

Although I know it occurred throughout my youth and adolescent years, it was really punctuated my senior year of high school, when I played football for our championship team. I can’t imagine how players feel on the collegian or pro level, given my experience as a 17-yearold. My fellow players and me were made to feel like gods…being celebrated on and off the field, individually and collectively. That senior year, I really internalized this…the more praise I got, the more I felt loved. Think about it in your own life. It’s:

  • Not done intentionally
  • Not done with malice
  • Just what happens

My brothers and I couldn’t have had a better upbringing. Yet I walked away from my youth believing for me to be loved and accepted, I needed to perform, to win.

The reality is that we all want to be loved…we want to be accepted. That being the case, as indicated above, we act in ways such that people will affirm us. That includes our decisions. If we don’t receive that affirmation, we second guess ourselves. We may even beat ourselves up. Unfortunately, there’s not the space here to understand how to overcome this. As such, we’d suggest you watch the free webinar we’ll be doing next month. There you’ll get the answer. Promise. More info to follow. 

The second reason why we second guess ourselves is in how we arrive at decisions. I’d suggest that taking such things to prayer changes everything. What? How? Here you go. Try this. It works. 

  • Identify to God whatever is on your heart that day…whatever the issue you’re dealing with or decision you need to make. It could be a current or long-term challenge. It’s your choice. God is interested in whatever you bring to Him. 
  • Detail the situation to God. What is the challenge or opportunity? What are your ideas to address or resolve it? What do you see as the pros and cons to your ideas? Talk through every aspect of the situation with God. 
  • Then just sit in silence, listening for the voice of God to speak to your heart. Be patient. Wait on Him. See what comes to you.
  • Journal as much of the above as you would like, especially how you believe God is speaking to you. 

You want to be sure of your decisions? Take your issues to prayer. Talk to our Lord about them. 

As always, please contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests. 

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

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Weekly Blog

Losing a Classmate

A couple weeks ago, I went to the funeral of a college classmate. Although I had not seen Midge, who died way too young, since graduating 35 years ago, I felt compelled to attend. Not a surprise, there I saw Mary Anne, Midge’s college roommate and lifelong best friend since grade school. My college roommate (Jim) and I had a connection with Midge and Mary Anne, in that we were all from Pittsburgh. We hadn’t known each other prior to college, nor did we see one another between semesters, but we had that common bond that connected us. Interesting how that happens.

Realizing that it’s 35 years ago and my memory isn’t what it used to be, I can’t remember ever seeing Midge separate from Mary Anne. They were inseparable….always together. And always, always SMILING AND LAUGHING. Reflecting on it, I can’t recall ever meeting two more joy filled people during that time in my life. What a great memory.

Fr. Tom, who was the Celebrant for Midge’s Funeral Mass, is Mary Anne’s brother, and as such has known Midge his entire life. During his homily/eulogy, he told stories of her life, always smiling and laughing, always bringing joy to other people. While he also used words like “love” and “courage”, he said his lasting memory of Midge would be “joy”. Independent of circumstance, she apparently never lost that joy during her 20-month battle with cancer.

Over the last 60 days, I lost two other friends who exuded pure joy. They are Fr. Jose Robles-Sanchez and Joy Rapp, two outstanding individuals I knew from our Steubenville Conference Ministry. Again, always smiling and like Midge, always concerned about the other person. Always bringing joy to others.

Being my age or younger, all three died way too young. If we believe what we say we believe (and I do), we know they’re in a much better place. Praise God!!! But what about us? What are we to do? What lessons do we take from losing such wonderful people…so young?

Here’s one of my lessons. We’ve all heard that love is a decision, not a feeling. In unpacking that, I think we can agree it is true. For me, I’d like to make joy a decision, not an emotion. Looking at Midge and Mary Anne, Fr. Jose and Joy as examples, I want to live in a place of joy, independent of substance or circumstance. I want to smile and laugh. I want to bring joy to others.

As evidenced on my website and the things I write about and speak on, I firmly believe that there is a Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment. I also believe that God made each of us uniquely, with special gifts, for a specific purpose. God made you for Greatness!! It’s in using those gifts and pursuing your God given purpose that you can experience joy (along with peace and fulfillment). There’s one more important factor. To experience true joy, again independent of substance or circumstance, you need to know the unconditional love of Jesus Christ (if you want more info on that, please reach out to me). May we all be so blessed!!!

As always, please contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Remember…God made you for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

What “Assume” Really Means

You’ve probably heard before that “assume” means “making an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’”. Well, this past week, I was the “ass”. I made an assumption about someone and something that caused me to respond in a way I now regret.

In the circumstance I’m referring to, the details to which aren’t important here, the person I offended thought he was responding to an invitation by me. Here’s the thing…he was correct. I asked for his opinion and then I got upset when he gave it to me.

What gives? What’s wrong with me? First, I’m human and I’m a sinner, far from being a perfect individual. That said, what just happened has caused me to reflect.

Some observations.

To start, a brief comment about the phrase. When referring to “u” and “me”, the real “ass” is me, the person making the assumption. Although a poor assumption can make a mess out of things for both individuals, it’s the person making the assumption who has egg on his or her face, who’s responsible for the problems caused.

With a simple internet search, I found several articles, one of which by Dr. Marcia Sirota (marciasirotamd.com), who makes the point that “instead of basing our understanding of people and events on what we observe and what we know for a fact, we often prefer to make judgments based on our emotions, beliefs, expectations and wishes”.

She suggests always asking ourselves, “how do I know this?” If the answer to that question is anything other than “I learned it through observing the evidence or through obtaining factual information,” then we’re at risk of making an incorrect assumption.

Why Do We Make Assumptions?

The answer again is…we’re human.

We often jump to conclusions or make an assumption based on our past experiences or perceptions. Although we all do it, I’d like to be doing less of it. I think one thing I can do is ask the question proposed above by Dr. Sirota…”how do I know this?”

To do the above, I need to slow down…and not just “jump”, but ponder and reflect. I can’t be so quick to react, but thoughtfully respond. That said, I think there are two things that cause us to “assume” or jump to conclusions:

  • Pride – defined as a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. Pride expresses itself in “ego”, which is an acronym for “edge God out”.
  • Lack of self-love is related to pride and ego, among other things. Counter intuitive, the less we love or like ourselves, the more important it is for us to be right, to be on top, which expresses itself through pride and ego….in making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

We are all beloved children of God, loved beyond imagine and made for greatness. Central to our calling is to love one another…through patience and kindness. Please join me in trying to no longer be the “ass”, instead of assuming…verifying and instead of reacting…responding.

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistires.com with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Remember…You were Made for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph

Categories
Weekly Blog

What We Can’t See

This April 25th, the Feast Day of St. Mark, it will be three years since I began doing this weekly blog. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I’ve missed a week. Prior to launch, I did something like 20 blogs and had them in the “can” (my wife loves kidding me when I use that term). For the longest time now, I’ve been writing weekly. Each blog takes me 1-2 hours, followed by Mary Kate, my editor and designer, doing her thing prior to posting.

As you know, I often base the content on current events, then tying it back to our faith. Or I might write on a topic specific to my book or something on my heart based on what’s going on in my life.

Well, I started thinking about a topic for this blog mid-week, wrestled with some ideas this past Saturday, then spent 4 hours on Sunday…before scrapping what I had done.

I felt called to write about the Trump rally and events at the U.S. Capitol on January 6th. I included commentary on CNN trying to get FOX News thrown off the air and Apple, Amazon, and Google shutting down Parler, one of the very few politically agnostic social media platforms, where they allow for free expression, without risk of being “deplatformed” or censored.

Lastly, I wrote a piece on an excellent book I just read, where Dr. Ralph Martin did an incredible job of laying out many challenges of our modern-day Church in, “A Church in Crisis: Pathways Forward”. I highly recommend it…you can get it at  https://stpaulcenter.com/product/a-church-in-crisis-pathways-forward/. My plan was to tie all of the above to the concept of “truth”, in the secular world, then noting the required albeit not always achieved, leadership role of the Church.

 

Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

Then it blew up on me. Sickened by the vitriol that exists on social media (I shut it down several weeks ago), from our politicians, and on the news (I watch much less than I used to), I couldn’t figure out how to address the real issues without offending some. And I guess that’s the point of this blog. We used to live in a country where there was a free exchange of ideas, where we debated the issues as opposed to attacking one another’s character. You may have heard, “hate the sin, not the sinner”.

The above doesn’t exist today. Instead, we have “cancel culture” and censorship. To be honest, I’m mad and I’m sad. I can’t believe we are the country we have become. Why are we so divided? I’ve been paying close attention to Presidential politics since Ronald Reagan and we’ve never seen anything like this. It all seems to center around Donald Trump.

I know why our political elite hate Donald Trump. He’s gotten in the way of their power and greed. He was disrupting the welfare (Democrat) and warfare (Republican) states. I just don’t understand why the hate by so many others. Even if you strongly disagree with all his policies, why all the tremendous hate? The absolute disgust…that has resulted in the most toxic of environments? I had a lot of hate in me at one time in my life. It’s not a healthy place to be.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

It’s been amazing and sad to watch. I don’t know how we’re going to recover. I do know this. My faith has never been more important to me. I’m committed to clinging to the Cross, the teachings of the Church and that in Holy Scripture. I’m going to double down on my prayer life, continuing to include those who disagree with me. I’m going to concentrate on living my faith the best I can, which means loving my wife and kids and all those who Jesus puts in my path.

I hope you’ll do what I just described above. Let’s all pray for our country and its leaders. They certainly need it.

As always, please feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!
Always remember…you were made for GREATNESS!!!

Mark Joseph