Tag: Mark Joseph

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Do You Want to be Your Best….Try Balance

Have you ever had a couple days that have wiped you out? It could be the length of the days you’ve worked or the gravity of the issues. Maybe every Friday you feel that way….after a long week.

Leaving my office 6PMish this past Friday, I called my wife, who asked what I wanted to do that evening. Exhausted from the week, my Dad’s funeral still a blur, I said “not a lot”. Cyndi said, “perfect, I’ll make us a pizza, we can watch a movie, and go to bed early”. Now Saturday morning, when I’m drafting this, it was nice to get to bed early and get a very good night of sleep. I feel rested and ready to go.

We need our rest. We can’t do without it. In fact, based on research that my wife has done, sleep is more important to our wellbeing than exercise. That’s not to say that exercise isn’t important. It is to say that you’re not doing yourself any favors by being on the elliptical everyday if you’re only sleeping 4-6 hours a night.

Balance is Critical

Just like we need our rest, we need to balance our lives in other ways. Categories include:

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Spiritual

What we’ve discussed above is part of the physical. Exercise is important, even if less so than sleep. So is eating and drinking a good diet. In one of Matthew Kelly’s books, he points to the fact that you wouldn’t feed a $1 Million race horse food from McDonald’s, yet what is it we put into our bodies?

Speaking to the emotional, to me there are two pieces:

  1. How we feel about ourselves – do you have a healthy view of self, understanding “who” (not your “do”) you are, your God given gifts, and what your purpose is? Do you have a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment?
  2. What do your personal relationships look like? Are they positive or negative? Do they feed you or tear you down?

Whether spiritual or emotional, it often starts in the heart. And the heart leads to the head, the intellectual. I’ve heard it said that you can judge the character of people by the books they read and the people the associate with.

  • Who do you associate with?
  • Who’s in your inner circle (a subject covered in my book)?
  • What are the things that you read or watch on TV or on your phone, including social media?

Are the above making you a better version of yourself?

The Most Important Part of Balance

Last (should be first in our lives) is the spiritual, which is so vitally important because it grounds us in who we are as a beloved child of God, each of us loved unconditionally and put on this earth for greatness. And through prayer, we connect with our Lord, Who helps us discern the right path, showing us the way to peace, joy, and fulfillment.

It being Mental Health Month, I wanted to speak to how balance is so important in our lives. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “everything in moderation”. I’d agree with that as long as they’re the right things. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually and you’ll have a great life…the kind of life our Lord designed for you.

As always, feel free to contact me with comments, questions, or challenges that you may have at [email protected].

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph

 

 

 

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Weekly Blog

Just Lost My Dad, Whose Life can be an Example for All

My father died a week ago Saturday and his funeral was this past Friday. Given the long and blessed life that he led, the last week was really a celebration. And that celebration had everything to do with the impact he had and the example that he was.

We received many comments from many family members and friends…some of which include:

  • Everyone has heroes in life that they look up to. I am no different. Yesterday we lost one of mine
  • He stepped into my life when it was crumbling; he took me in emotionally and gave me strength. I’ll never forget how special and loved he made me feel
  • I’m blessed to have had so much time with your Dad
  • I can’t stop thinking about all the good times and advice that your Dad gave me
  • He was an unbelievably great person and a role model for how a father should act
  • I loved that man and admired him so much
  • I think of him fondly…what an impact he had on me
  • Your Dad was a great man and a big influence on my life
  • Your father is one of the more important guideposts in my life. More than probably any other adult who I grew up with…besides my own father
  • I’m a better man having known your Dad

Hearing similar things about him over the years, in addition to our own experiences, it wasn’t a total surprise for my mother, my 3 brothers, or me, although very gratifying.

From Modest Beginnings to Success

My dad and his siblings had a very modest childhood. Having his first job at age 7, he helped to support his family before paying his way through college. He would eventually own 3 successful small businesses and be active politically, first at the state and national levels as a leader in the pro-life movement. That was followed by being highly engaged internationally, working for peace in the Middle East, which had him engaged with kings and queens, other foreign heads of state, US presidents, vice presidents, senators, and congressmen.

What would impress most didn’t impress him at all. He liked to remind us that everyone puts their pants on the same way…one leg at a time.

The Impact He Had on So Many

So, the question is how his upbringing and lived experiences resulted in so many being so drawn to him. I think it was his humility, coupled with his compassion and his confidence, especially in others. People felt special when with him; they felt safe. He was other focused, deeply caring about others.

When you had a conversation with our dad, you had his full attention. He made you feel important, valued, and understood. He made you see yourself through his eyes and he saw you with infinite possibility.

He was the same with our family. I think the greatest example our father could have given his sons is how a husband is to love his wife. He loved, loved, loved our mother. We heard it 100s, if not 1000s of times, “your mother is the greatest gift God ever gave me”. Married for 57 years, they were best friends. They were inseparable.

As good an example he was as a husband, he equally exuded what it meant to be a great father, truly investing in his 4 sons, collectively and individually. He was always encouraging, teaching, coaching, mentoring, and loving us…as related to the sports we played and the endeavors we pursued.

My Mum and Dad with their Grandchildren

Living His Faith…Answering the Call

A regular Sunday Mass attendee his entire life, my dad had his conversion when he was 71. From that time until near his death at age 84, he was a daily Mass attendee and Communicant. And every day at 3PM, he prayed both the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the Rosary. He had an expression he used prior to procedures that he’d have done in the later part of his life, “it will be ok and if it’s not ok, it will be ok”. He was in a great place spiritually, saying to my brothers and me towards the end, “I’m tired; I want to go be with our Lord”.

In Matthew 22: 37-39, Jesus gave us the Great Commandments, where He said, “love God your Father with your hole heart, hole mind, hole soul, and hole strength; love your neighbor as yourself”. In addition to the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), it is arguably the most impactful thing Jesus told us. Our father, Robert Joseph, did both in exemplary fashion:

  • loved his God
  • loved his wife, sons, and so many others

If we believe what we believe…and I do, our father is in a much better place. We’ll miss him, but we know that he’s at peace with our Lord, Jesus Christ. Can’t wait to see him again. We love you, Dad!!!

Feel free to contact me with questions or comments at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

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Weekly Blog

Pressures of Being Too Busy

Have you ever been so busy that your head is spinning? Does your task list keep growing…as soon as you accomplish one thing, two more are added? Do you work lots of hours and can’t seem to get ahead? Is your work/life balance out of wack? Do you feel stressed? Are you overwhelmed? 

Join the club. Many people (probably most people) feel the same way much of the time. In fact, it’s the way I currently feel. I’ve recently had the privilege of being appointed to a new position at Franciscan University of Steubenville. As such, my weekly meeting schedule has practically doubled overnight. In working to combine several departments, we’re going through a strategic planning process while launching an additional major initiative. Add to that all the work I’ve historically been doing, none of which has gone away.

Sharing the above with a friend recently, he said, “boy…you sound like you’re overwhelmed”. He then sarcastically recommended that I read my own book, Overwhelming Pursuit: Stop Chasing Your Life and Live.

 

Why I’m Not Overwhelmed

In all deference to my friend, I’m not overwhelmed, although the last couple weeks have required many, many additional hours of my time. As opposed to my pre-conversion days, when I was a serious workaholic, I’m not overwhelmed for three specific reasons.

  1. Understanding my “Why” – It’s important to understand your “why”, that is why you’re doing what you’re doing. For the old me, it was all about what I refer to as the 4 Ps, prominence, possessions, pleasure, and people. I had this God sized hole in the center of my chest that I was trying to fill with all of these things that weren’t possibly going to make me happy…but I was pursuing them because of the world’s influence. My “who” was my “do”. My role was my identity.

Today those things mean much, much less to me. My “why”, my purpose is to serve our Lord and serve others, which are the things that bring me peace, joy, and fulfillment. You don’t have to be in ministry to do these things. You do need to understand your “why”

  1. Commitment to Peace over Pace – Back in the day, the pace always outstripped the peace. My work/life balance was always out of wack, with me working 60+ hours per week. Although exhausted by it, I thrived on the pace, topic for another blog. I now like to say, it’s all about the peace, not the pace.

Matthew Kelly, one of my favorite Catholic authors and speakers, likes to say, “you can only say “no” when you have a stronger “yes”. I have a strong “yes”, which includes being committed to peace in my life, not the incredibly high pace I used to live.

  1. Prayer – there is a peace to prayer. It comes with my rote prayers, which I say very slowly, hanging on every word. It also comes in meditating on Scripture. But mostly it comes in what Matthew Kelly calls the “classroom of silence”, where I share my thoughts, feelings, dreams, and challenges with our Lord, then just listen for His voice.

So while at the moment I have a lot on my plate, I know it will pass. And because of my relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ, I’m not overwhelmed. He’s got the wheel. He’s in control. I’m just along for the ride.

As always, feel free to contact me with questions or comments at [email protected].

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Why It’s So Important to Forgive

Are you one to hold a grudge? It doesn’t have to be a major “resentment”. Maybe it’s minor thing that you won’t forgive of someone else? What kind of impact is it having on the other person? On you?

In the Scriptures, Jesus tells us that we need to forgive. One example is the “Our Father”, the only prayer Jesus gave us, where He says, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. Another is in Matthew 18:22, where in response to Peter asking how often we are to forgive, Jesus says, “I do not say to you even seven times, but even seventy times seven times” There are numerous other examples in Scripture as well.

Why do you think Jesus is so insistent that we forgive others? We get the answer when we refer to another part of Scripture, the Great Commandments, where in Mark 12:29-31 – Jesus said, “The first is this…You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Jesus knows that we can’t love someone if we resent or lack forgiveness for another. It’s just not possible to do so, to love purely when we don’t have forgiveness in our hearts. And as much as we can’t love someone else, we can’t love God our Father with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength.

It being one of the most important things Jesus told us, we need to abide by the Great Commandments. To not do so is to not pursue our faith, to not grow in faith, to not have peace, joy, or fulfillment in our lives.

Before Forgiving Others?

Before forgiving others though, we often need to forgive ourselves. That was true for me and to do so I needed to bring someone alongside me. Given the tragedy I experienced in my life, I saw a Christian therapist for a number of years…lots of sessions, and lots of copays. The visual I think about was her facing me with a Crucifix in one hand and a mirror in the other, because we spent every session, all session, talking about how I needed to change and be more like Jesus.

For you it might not need to be a therapist. It could be a good friend, a relative, or mentor. Whoever it is, I’d suggest that it be someone who has experience, is educated, independent, and invested in you being the very best you can be.

In forgiving ourselves, we can come to a place where we understand that others’ issues (their faults, failings, and inadequacies) aren’t to be cast upon us, but owned by them. We understand that when people hurt us it’s most often not with malice, but instead from a place of their own woundedness. As such, they need our forgiveness. They need our love.

Jesus calls us to love one another. In addition to loving His Father, it’s His priority for our lives. Here’s a little secret….it’s only in loving others, loving God our Father, and being a Disciple where we’ll have true peace, joy, and fulfillment in our lives.

As always, feel free to contact me with questions or comments at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph