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Who’s Your Biggest Fan

I recently read a study, indicating that 49% of adults complain of being lonely. Very sad. The fact is that we’re not made to go through life alone. Instead, we need community. We yearn for authentic friendship.

My best friend is my wife, Cyndi. Although we are both busy with our jobs and have a few additional friends, we spend a ton of time together. We really enjoy one another’s company. It’s not that we never struggle, but we are incredibly close. We invest in each other. We care for one another. Cyndi knows she can count on me and I know I can count on her. We always encourage one another. We love each other very much.

Who Is Your Biggest Fan and Advocate?

Many would argue that Cyndi is my biggest fan. And from a human perspective, they would be correct. She’s mine and I’m hers’. Fortunately for all of us though, there’s a divine perspective that we benefit from. And thank God. Related to Cyndi and me, although I support her in everything, I’m only capable of so much, whereas our God is capable of all. Although I love Cyndi, that love pales in comparison, as exemplified by Jesus’ torturous death on the Cross.

God loves each of us more than we’ll ever know, no matter what we’ve ever done. As you’ve read in my blogs before, in making us with special gifts and talents, for a specific purpose, God made each of us, you and me, for Greatness!!! And He’s the one, our biggest fan, our greatest advocate in the Holy Spirit, to help us.

What About All These Rules?

Often the Church is criticized as this place of rules. Many believe that getting to Heaven requires a scorecard…doing good allows one step forward; doing something really bad forces two steps back. Going to Mass is standing, sitting, kneeling, followed by standing, sitting, and kneeling. Then there’s the 10 Commandments:

1.I am the Lord your God: You shall not have strange Gods before me.
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day.
4. Honor your father and mother.
5. You shall not kill.
6. You shall not commit adultery.
7. You shall not steal.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.

As opposed to viewing them as rules, I prefer thinking of them as divine guidelines. The fact is that if you want to get in shape, muscularly or cardiovascularly, there are certain things that need done if you want to accomplish your goal. The same goes for wanting to lose weight. And regardless of the skill you might want to attain or objective you have, you typically have to practice specific tasks and look to avoid others.

The Tools to Succeed

The same is true for our God given purpose and how we utilize our special God given talents. God and His Church are there to help us, not hurt us. Whether it’s the Commandments from above, or the Virtues or Gifts and Fruits of the Holy Spirit….all of these things, with the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, are there to help us be the very best versions of ourselves.

Yes, God is our biggest fan…and He gives us the roadmap to live a life of Greatness.

As always, feel free to reach out to me with any questions, comments, or challenges at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Do You Want to be Your Best….Try Balance

Have you ever had a couple days that have wiped you out? It could be the length of the days you’ve worked or the gravity of the issues. Maybe every Friday you feel that way….after a long week.

Leaving my office 6PMish this past Friday, I called my wife, who asked what I wanted to do that evening. Exhausted from the week, my Dad’s funeral still a blur, I said “not a lot”. Cyndi said, “perfect, I’ll make us a pizza, we can watch a movie, and go to bed early”. Now Saturday morning, when I’m drafting this, it was nice to get to bed early and get a very good night of sleep. I feel rested and ready to go.

We need our rest. We can’t do without it. In fact, based on research that my wife has done, sleep is more important to our wellbeing than exercise. That’s not to say that exercise isn’t important. It is to say that you’re not doing yourself any favors by being on the elliptical everyday if you’re only sleeping 4-6 hours a night.

Balance is Critical

Just like we need our rest, we need to balance our lives in other ways. Categories include:

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Spiritual

What we’ve discussed above is part of the physical. Exercise is important, even if less so than sleep. So is eating and drinking a good diet. In one of Matthew Kelly’s books, he points to the fact that you wouldn’t feed a $1 Million race horse food from McDonald’s, yet what is it we put into our bodies?

Speaking to the emotional, to me there are two pieces:

  1. How we feel about ourselves – do you have a healthy view of self, understanding “who” (not your “do”) you are, your God given gifts, and what your purpose is? Do you have a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment?
  2. What do your personal relationships look like? Are they positive or negative? Do they feed you or tear you down?

Whether spiritual or emotional, it often starts in the heart. And the heart leads to the head, the intellectual. I’ve heard it said that you can judge the character of people by the books they read and the people the associate with.

  • Who do you associate with?
  • Who’s in your inner circle (a subject covered in my book)?
  • What are the things that you read or watch on TV or on your phone, including social media?

Are the above making you a better version of yourself?

The Most Important Part of Balance

Last (should be first in our lives) is the spiritual, which is so vitally important because it grounds us in who we are as a beloved child of God, each of us loved unconditionally and put on this earth for greatness. And through prayer, we connect with our Lord, Who helps us discern the right path, showing us the way to peace, joy, and fulfillment.

It being Mental Health Month, I wanted to speak to how balance is so important in our lives. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “everything in moderation”. I’d agree with that as long as they’re the right things. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually and you’ll have a great life…the kind of life our Lord designed for you.

As always, feel free to contact me with comments, questions, or challenges that you may have at [email protected].

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph

 

 

 

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Weekly Blog

Just Lost My Dad, Whose Life can be an Example for All

My father died a week ago Saturday and his funeral was this past Friday. Given the long and blessed life that he led, the last week was really a celebration. And that celebration had everything to do with the impact he had and the example that he was.

We received many comments from many family members and friends…some of which include:

  • Everyone has heroes in life that they look up to. I am no different. Yesterday we lost one of mine
  • He stepped into my life when it was crumbling; he took me in emotionally and gave me strength. I’ll never forget how special and loved he made me feel
  • I’m blessed to have had so much time with your Dad
  • I can’t stop thinking about all the good times and advice that your Dad gave me
  • He was an unbelievably great person and a role model for how a father should act
  • I loved that man and admired him so much
  • I think of him fondly…what an impact he had on me
  • Your Dad was a great man and a big influence on my life
  • Your father is one of the more important guideposts in my life. More than probably any other adult who I grew up with…besides my own father
  • I’m a better man having known your Dad

Hearing similar things about him over the years, in addition to our own experiences, it wasn’t a total surprise for my mother, my 3 brothers, or me, although very gratifying.

From Modest Beginnings to Success

My dad and his siblings had a very modest childhood. Having his first job at age 7, he helped to support his family before paying his way through college. He would eventually own 3 successful small businesses and be active politically, first at the state and national levels as a leader in the pro-life movement. That was followed by being highly engaged internationally, working for peace in the Middle East, which had him engaged with kings and queens, other foreign heads of state, US presidents, vice presidents, senators, and congressmen.

What would impress most didn’t impress him at all. He liked to remind us that everyone puts their pants on the same way…one leg at a time.

The Impact He Had on So Many

So, the question is how his upbringing and lived experiences resulted in so many being so drawn to him. I think it was his humility, coupled with his compassion and his confidence, especially in others. People felt special when with him; they felt safe. He was other focused, deeply caring about others.

When you had a conversation with our dad, you had his full attention. He made you feel important, valued, and understood. He made you see yourself through his eyes and he saw you with infinite possibility.

He was the same with our family. I think the greatest example our father could have given his sons is how a husband is to love his wife. He loved, loved, loved our mother. We heard it 100s, if not 1000s of times, “your mother is the greatest gift God ever gave me”. Married for 57 years, they were best friends. They were inseparable.

As good an example he was as a husband, he equally exuded what it meant to be a great father, truly investing in his 4 sons, collectively and individually. He was always encouraging, teaching, coaching, mentoring, and loving us…as related to the sports we played and the endeavors we pursued.

My Mum and Dad with their Grandchildren

Living His Faith…Answering the Call

A regular Sunday Mass attendee his entire life, my dad had his conversion when he was 71. From that time until near his death at age 84, he was a daily Mass attendee and Communicant. And every day at 3PM, he prayed both the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the Rosary. He had an expression he used prior to procedures that he’d have done in the later part of his life, “it will be ok and if it’s not ok, it will be ok”. He was in a great place spiritually, saying to my brothers and me towards the end, “I’m tired; I want to go be with our Lord”.

In Matthew 22: 37-39, Jesus gave us the Great Commandments, where He said, “love God your Father with your hole heart, hole mind, hole soul, and hole strength; love your neighbor as yourself”. In addition to the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), it is arguably the most impactful thing Jesus told us. Our father, Robert Joseph, did both in exemplary fashion:

  • loved his God
  • loved his wife, sons, and so many others

If we believe what we believe…and I do, our father is in a much better place. We’ll miss him, but we know that he’s at peace with our Lord, Jesus Christ. Can’t wait to see him again. We love you, Dad!!!

Feel free to contact me with questions or comments at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

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Weekly Blog

Pressures of Being Too Busy

Have you ever been so busy that your head is spinning? Does your task list keep growing…as soon as you accomplish one thing, two more are added? Do you work lots of hours and can’t seem to get ahead? Is your work/life balance out of wack? Do you feel stressed? Are you overwhelmed? 

Join the club. Many people (probably most people) feel the same way much of the time. In fact, it’s the way I currently feel. I’ve recently had the privilege of being appointed to a new position at Franciscan University of Steubenville. As such, my weekly meeting schedule has practically doubled overnight. In working to combine several departments, we’re going through a strategic planning process while launching an additional major initiative. Add to that all the work I’ve historically been doing, none of which has gone away.

Sharing the above with a friend recently, he said, “boy…you sound like you’re overwhelmed”. He then sarcastically recommended that I read my own book, Overwhelming Pursuit: Stop Chasing Your Life and Live.

 

Why I’m Not Overwhelmed

In all deference to my friend, I’m not overwhelmed, although the last couple weeks have required many, many additional hours of my time. As opposed to my pre-conversion days, when I was a serious workaholic, I’m not overwhelmed for three specific reasons.

  1. Understanding my “Why” – It’s important to understand your “why”, that is why you’re doing what you’re doing. For the old me, it was all about what I refer to as the 4 Psprominence, possessions, pleasure, and people. I had this God sized hole in the center of my chest that I was trying to fill with all of these things that weren’t possibly going to make me happy…but I was pursuing them because of the world’s influence. My “who” was my “do”. My role was my identity.

Today those things mean much, much less to me. My “why”, my purpose is to serve our Lord and serve others, which are the things that bring me peace, joy, and fulfillment. You don’t have to be in ministry to do these things. You do need to understand your “why”

  1. Commitment to Peace over Pace – Back in the day, the pace always outstripped the peace. My work/life balance was always out of wack, with me working 60+ hours per week. Although exhausted by it, I thrived on the pace, topic for another blog. I now like to say, it’s all about the peace, not the pace.

Matthew Kelly, one of my favorite Catholic authors and speakers, likes to say, “you can only say “no” when you have a stronger “yes”. I have a strong “yes”, which includes being committed to peace in my life, not the incredibly high pace I used to live.

  1. Prayer – there is a peace to prayer. It comes with my rote prayers, which I say very slowly, hanging on every word. It also comes in meditating on Scripture. But mostly it comes in what Matthew Kelly calls the “classroom of silence”, where I share my thoughts, feelings, dreams, and challenges with our Lord, then just listen for His voice.

So while at the moment I have a lot on my plate, I know it will pass. And because of my relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ, I’m not overwhelmed. He’s got the wheel. He’s in control. I’m just along for the ride.

As always, feel free to contact me with questions or comments at [email protected].

May God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph