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Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies

Hey *|FNAME|*,

This is the 6th of our 14-week free program, where we provide Lesson #6, on Life’s Tragedies. One of the most commonly asked questions related to faith is, “how can an all-loving God allow so much tragedy to take place?”

Not being a theologian or Scripture scholar, I’m not going to give you the theological answer, but one that is based on my experiences. Here it is….God allows tragedy to take place in our lives to bring us closer to Himself (God). Tragedy is what got me to intensely engage in my faith. It’s the thing that got most of my friends to engage as well.

Think about it…when things are going swimmingly well, when you’re “fat, dumb, and happy”, as they say, you think you’re doing just fine on your own. You don’t need anyone, much less God, with what most perceive as all His rules and restrictions.

We Want God in Tough Times

Instead, it’s times of tragedy when we determine that we can’t do it on our own. We know we need help. We often ache for someone to come along side us. That someone is the person of Jesus Christ.

I just heard the other day that prayer is up over 30%, with the COVID 19 pandemic. An article on Crux quotes Jeanet Sinding Bentzen, an associate professor in the Department of Economics at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark, who said, “the rising interest in seeking information about “prayer” on Google skyrocketed during the month of March 2020 when COVID-19 went global”.

I remember when 9/11 took place. Churches were packed and confession lines long, with people at abortion clinics and adult bookstores declining in number for a long period of time. When tragedy occurs, people seek God.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Tragedy Helps Us

I know these all sound like clichés…

  • God doesn’t give us anything that we can’t handle
  • What doesn’t break us makes us stronger
  • God gives us the opportunity to make a ministry out of our messes

My wife and I sometimes kid around, saying it would be nice if we could eliminate a tragedy here or crisis there, from our lives. The fact is that it takes every experience we have to make us who we are. And I thank God for all of it, including the significant tragedies in my life, because I know I wouldn’t be who I am today, doing what I do, without having experienced them. Praise God!!!

Suggested Actions

So, what do we do about it? How do we handle the inevitable tragedy in our lives? Given my experience, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions, taking them to prayer:
    • How have the tragedies in your life shaped you?
    • Look for the lessons in what you’ve gone through…they are there; you just need to be open to them.
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • Try to be in a place of gratitude, thanking God for everything that’s taken place in your life.
    • Concentrate on the positive. What positive thing from that tragedy would not be present in your life today?
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Note: This isn’t easy stuff. I’ve been there. I promise you…as we work through these lessons and as you embrace the additional material, this “tragedy” piece is going to make more sense.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #7 when we talk about our wounds and resentments. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

P.S. Living in a place of gratitude means understanding that nothing happens by accident. The day I wrote this blog, my wife and I watched “I Still Believe” (Movie Trailer), a movie about singer-songwriter Jeremy Camp and his first wife. If you want to see a story about “why” tragedy and great hope, watch “I Still Believe”.

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Weekly Blog

Week #2 – Having to Earn the Love of Others

This is the 2nd of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #2, Having to Earn the Love of Others. So here are some questions to consider:

  • When growing up, do you remember times when performing well made you feel more loved?
  • Or how about when you failed at something or perceived that you failed, did you feel less loved?
  • Although you don’t do it intentionally (none of us do), do you treat people differently based on their performance, i.e. your kids, coworkers

The most glaring example of this issue in my life was winning the high school football championship my senior year. No matter where my teammates and I went, we were treated like heroes, like gods. Regardless of whether it was the school administration, our teachers, and classmates, or family…parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, the media, friends outside of school, or the broader community…we were celebrated for our successes individually and collectively.

Having come from an incredibly loving home, the above made me feel more loved based on my success, us winning. Think about it in your own life. Based on my research, I’m quite sure you’ve experienced it.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

No Malice Intended

It’s not done intentionally or with malice. Most of us had good upbringings. That said, most also grow up believing, based on our lived experiences, that we have to excel to be loved. Stated another way, we fear that if we don’t perform well, we won’t be loved. And at a fundamental level, we all want to be loved; we all want to be accepted.

As we’re going to learn in future lessons, believing that we have to earn the love of others isn’t a good thing. It drives behaviors related to our own self-development, in addition to the way we treat others, that aren’t healthy. 

Suggested Actions

As indicated, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including feeling the need to earn the love of others. That said, as we move through these 14 lessons, I’m going to give you things that helped me in my life.

Specific to this lesson, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Take them to prayer. Reference Daily Dialogue with God at this past blog for guidance. We can only understand an issue if we identify it. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • How did “earning the love of others” occur in your life?
    • How are you seeing it occur in others’ lives?
    • What do you think the impact was then?
    • How has what occurred then impacted you now?
  • We need to learn to separate our role (carpenter, banker, electrician, dietician, teacher) from our identity (loved children of God). Think and pray about the following:
    • God does not call us because we are worthy, but because we are wanted.
    • God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called.
    • St. Augustine wrote, “God loves each of us as if there was only one of us to be loved”.
  • During your morning prayer routine (from last week), in addition to taking your worries and stresses to the Lord, asking for His peace, also bask in His love. You can meditate on each of the phrases just above, in addition to “I am a loved child of God”.
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #3 when we talk about lack of self-love. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Weekly Blog

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed

This kicks off our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #1, Being Overwhelmed. So here are some questions to ponder:

  • How is it that you’re overwhelmed (we all are)?
  • What are the sources of the problem…what’s causing you to be overwhelmed?
  • Has Coronavirus exacerbated the situation or are you less overwhelmed than in normal times?
 Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

In many of the talks that I give, I ask by show of hands who is overwhelmed? Time after time, talk after talk, just about everyone puts their hands up. So many of us are overwhelmed. When times are good we may not realize it, although the pace is no less, i.e. long hours at work, racing the kids around to their activities, doing the chores of everyday life, exercise, hobbies, our social lives, etc. Although overwhelmed, some of us even thrive on the pace.

When things are challenging, like when we have relationship problems, may be experiencing a personal or family crisis, financial issues, or otherwise, we know we’re overwhelmed because we’re feeling it regularly.

The Same Was True for Me

The above was very true for me in my life. I was trying to run a business that had its challenges, demanding tons of my time. Our kids were of the ages that all 3 were incredibly active, but no one had a license yet. So, we were always running them from activity to activity. At the same time my first wife suffered from addiction badly, which really complicated our family dynamic. Believe me when I say that I was OVERWHELMED.

They (whoever “they” are) say “misery loves company”. Here’s the good news…you’re not alone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re just out of high school or college, new or advanced in your career (even retired), wildly successful or struggling. You could be single or married, have a house full kids or be an empty-nester. It doesn’t matter your religion, race, or gender….so many of us are overwhelmed.

Suggested Actions

There are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including being OVERWHELMED. That said, as we move through these 14 lessons, I’m going to give you things that helped me in my life in going from being Overwhelmed to a place of Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment.

I would suggest:

  • Think about the questions I pose above. Take them to prayer. In this past blog, I discuss a way to pray, titled Daily Dialogue with God, which would be good to use here.
  • Think (pray) about and write down 2-3 ideas on how you could reduce the pace and stress in your life…simple steps you can take into your morning or evening routines, i.e. turn off your phone, spend intentional time with your family.
  • Create a morning prayer routine, taking your worries and stresses to the Lord, asking for His peace. Prayer works…it really does.
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #2 when we talk about feeling the need to earn the love of others. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Weekly Blog

Three Things to Help Ourselves and Others in Time of Crisis

It was Monday, March 16th, that the President’s 15 Days to Slow the Spread of Coronavirus, went into place. It was the day after my wife and I went to Sunday Mass for the last time at our Parish (we now watch online). Since then Churches have closed across the country, as has almost everything else. With the exception of those serving in the essential services sector, we’re all at home. Many are able to work remotely, while some (into the millions) have lost their jobs due to the crisis.

We’re still not out of this thing. With what started outside of our country, the ripple effect is incredible. It would seem probable that there are parts of our country, our world, our way of life, that are going to change forever…something that wasn’t close to being on our radar earlier in the year, when things were humming along.
In watching the news, seeing what’s being posted, and talking to folks, there’s a lot of fear and anxiety out there. I can genuinely say that I’ve experienced neither, which I would attribute to my faith. What I’m absolutely amazed by is how everything flipped on a dime. The world has literally been turned upside down by Coronavirus overnight. It’s surreal. It’s nuts. It’s really unbelievable.

Photo by Charry Jin from Pexels

So, the question becomes what we can do for ourselves and others during these times. I’ve identified three things:

  1. Stay in a place of Gratitude
  2. Do what you can…don’t worry about the rest
  3. Help others

Stay in a Place of Gratitude
It was a year ago that I posted a blog titled, “Do You Need An Attitude Adjustment Too?”, which you can find here. Not wanting to be redundant, I want to stress the importance of gratitude in these times. BTW, a quick internet search will indicate how important gratitude is to us. Without question, we are currently facing challenging times. And at the same time, so many of us are so blessed. For me, I am so thankful for so much…

  • Starting with Jesus Christ as my Savior
  • Very close second is my wife and the relationship we have, followed by our children and their families, all incredible blessings to us
  • For my journey (everything that has occurred in my life, including the tragedy) and what God now has me doing in my life
  • For my upbringing, my loving parents, my brothers, and our broader family and friends
  • For everything that occurs in my daily life, the good (for obvious reasons) and the bad (for the lessons they teach me).

I don’t mean to drone on, but want to provide you with examples. We all have so much to be thankful for in our lives. We need to take account of these things daily, thanking God in prayer.

Image by Bongkarn Thanyakij from Pexels

Do What You Can…Don’t Worry About the Rest
I’m reminded of the Serenity Prayer, which I say daily:

God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would like it.

Trusting that He will make all things right,
If I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this world
And supremely joyful in the next.
Amen.

We have very little control over much of our lives, i.e. Coronavirus. I believe strongly that the above prayer, including the first four lines, are indicative of the healthy way to live life. Do what you can and don’t worry about the rest.

Help Others
This one is obvious and we’re seeing examples of it everywhere. I, like you, could fill 13 pages with examples. Here’s a different slant though. Those who do mission work or ministry most often feel more served by those they’re serving than the other way around. In other words, it’s in those in need that we truly see the face of Christ, where we feel the love of Christ.

While serving others is not to be about us, we do benefit from it, which is a nice thing in these challenging times. Reading Scripture this morning, I came across Luke 8:39, where Jesus says to a man he just healed, “return home and recount what great things God has done for you”. Two things…first, be grateful. Second, another way to help others is to share the Gospel message, including your testimony.

Praying for all of us as we make our way out of this crisis. As always, should you have questions, comments, or concerns, please contact me at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph