Categories
Weekly Blog

Week #7 – Wounds and Resentments

This is the 7th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #7, on our wounds and the resentments they create. So, here are some questions to consider:

  • Have you ever been hurt by someone in your life?
  • Have you experienced tragedy, that has left you wounded?
  • If either of the two above, how has it impacted your life?

As discussed last week, tragedy is universal. It happens to all of us. The same is true for people hurting us. We’re all sinners. Sometimes it’s done with malice. Most often not, but the pain is none the less.

If hurts or wounds stay with us long enough, they become personal. If personal long enough, we often build up resentments. Have you ever heard the expression, “resenting someone is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die”? It doesn’t work. Believe me. I’ve tried…it doesn’t work.

Here’s the thing….when I harbor resentment, the only person it really hurts is me. Even if the other person knows of the situation and feels its repercussions, the impact pales in comparison to the impact on me.

My Wounds and Resentments

For quite a while, I was overwhelmed by my wounds and resentments, almost in disbelief that these seeming “injustices” could have happened to me.

  • My first wife’s long struggle with alcoholism
  • The dramatic impact the addiction had on our family
  • The loss of my business
Photo by Matthias Zomer from Pexels

I experienced a range of emotions — sadness, despair, doubt, fear — and I remember being angry and bitter almost on a constant basis. It was real. It was penetrating. And it hurt. I felt very isolated, embarrassed to share the details with anyone. It was the most depressing time of my life.

Solving for the Pain

There is at least partial truth to the saying that time heals all wounds. It was true for me. As time went on, the pain did diminish, and healing did begin to set in. That said, time alone would not have moved me past my many hurts.

It was critical that I take ownership of my role in each of the painful circumstances, recognizing that I bore real responsibility for what had happened to me. And that difficult realization took time. My old wounds of low self-esteem and low self-worth added to the pain of these wounds and fostered a lot of resentment. It wasn’t until I started the challenging process of fixing myself, and yes, forgiving myself, that I could humbly acknowledge my role in my circumstances.

Suggested Actions

So, what do we do about it? As indicated, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including overcoming your wounds and resentments. That said, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • What was your role in what took place?
    • Were there lessons learned that you can take into other circumstances?
    • Beginning to understand that everything takes place for a reason, is there an element of gratitude you can find in what transpired?
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • In meditating on what occurred, try to forgive the other person, recognizing that resentment only hurts you.
    • Try to forgive yourself too, mindful of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness for you
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #8 when we talk about DISCOVERING GOD’S LOVE. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

Categories
Weekly Blog

Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies

Hey *|FNAME|*,

This is the 6th of our 14-week free program, where we provide Lesson #6, on Life’s Tragedies. One of the most commonly asked questions related to faith is, “how can an all-loving God allow so much tragedy to take place?”

Not being a theologian or Scripture scholar, I’m not going to give you the theological answer, but one that is based on my experiences. Here it is….God allows tragedy to take place in our lives to bring us closer to Himself (God). Tragedy is what got me to intensely engage in my faith. It’s the thing that got most of my friends to engage as well.

Think about it…when things are going swimmingly well, when you’re “fat, dumb, and happy”, as they say, you think you’re doing just fine on your own. You don’t need anyone, much less God, with what most perceive as all His rules and restrictions.

We Want God in Tough Times

Instead, it’s times of tragedy when we determine that we can’t do it on our own. We know we need help. We often ache for someone to come along side us. That someone is the person of Jesus Christ.

I just heard the other day that prayer is up over 30%, with the COVID 19 pandemic. An article on Crux quotes Jeanet Sinding Bentzen, an associate professor in the Department of Economics at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark, who said, “the rising interest in seeking information about “prayer” on Google skyrocketed during the month of March 2020 when COVID-19 went global”.

I remember when 9/11 took place. Churches were packed and confession lines long, with people at abortion clinics and adult bookstores declining in number for a long period of time. When tragedy occurs, people seek God.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Tragedy Helps Us

I know these all sound like clichés…

  • God doesn’t give us anything that we can’t handle
  • What doesn’t break us makes us stronger
  • God gives us the opportunity to make a ministry out of our messes

My wife and I sometimes kid around, saying it would be nice if we could eliminate a tragedy here or crisis there, from our lives. The fact is that it takes every experience we have to make us who we are. And I thank God for all of it, including the significant tragedies in my life, because I know I wouldn’t be who I am today, doing what I do, without having experienced them. Praise God!!!

Suggested Actions

So, what do we do about it? How do we handle the inevitable tragedy in our lives? Given my experience, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions, taking them to prayer:
    • How have the tragedies in your life shaped you?
    • Look for the lessons in what you’ve gone through…they are there; you just need to be open to them.
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • Try to be in a place of gratitude, thanking God for everything that’s taken place in your life.
    • Concentrate on the positive. What positive thing from that tragedy would not be present in your life today?
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Note: This isn’t easy stuff. I’ve been there. I promise you…as we work through these lessons and as you embrace the additional material, this “tragedy” piece is going to make more sense.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #7 when we talk about our wounds and resentments. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

P.S. Living in a place of gratitude means understanding that nothing happens by accident. The day I wrote this blog, my wife and I watched “I Still Believe” (Movie Trailer), a movie about singer-songwriter Jeremy Camp and his first wife. If you want to see a story about “why” tragedy and great hope, watch “I Still Believe”.

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

Categories
Weekly Blog

Week #5 – False Gods, False Happiness

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

This is the 5th of our 14-week free program, where we provide Lesson #5, on false gods and false happiness. Here are some questions to consider:

  • What is “it” that you think will make you happy?
  • Does “it” bring you true happiness?
  • What do you spend most of your time on? Or money on?

Johnny Lee sings a song called, “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”. I believe most of us are guilty of that…in addition to looking for happiness in all the wrong places. I heard not long ago…we can never get enough of what we really don’t need. Think about that in your life. What are those things that you’re chasing, that you think are going to make you happy?

I’ve identified them as the 4 Ps, prominence, possessions, pleasure, and people. Let’s explore each:

  • Prominence – if we’re honest, most of us want to stand out, to be noticed. Prominence makes us feel respected and admired, held in high esteem, and most importantly, loved.
  • Possessions – houses, cars, clothes, gadgets, etc. It doesn’t matter the socioeconomics, we all value “stuff”. One indication of this is the amount of personal debt many people have, living way beyond their means.
  • Pleasure – is dependent on specific circumstances. Unlike joy, pleasure only takes place in the moment. Once the act creating the pleasure is over, the pleasure is gone. It’s fleeting.
  • People – whether we realize it or not, many of us turn others into false gods. They can be the rich and famous or those close to us. Neither is healthy and without fail, we will eventually be disappointed and often deeply hurt.

Here’s the truth, all of the above are false gods, bringing us nothing but false happiness. None of them will ever satisfy you on a long-term basis. Each is fleeting.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Have you ever heard the story of the old man in the hospital, lamenting to his family while looking back on his life? He wishes that he had spent far less time at work. The clear inference is that if he had it to do over again, he would have been home much more, with those he loved.

The fact is that the only thing that is going to bring us true happiness is our relationships. We are made for community. We are made for friendship. We are made for authentic relationship. Although family and friends are vital, there’s no more important relationship we can have than with Jesus Christ, the source of all Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment.

Suggested Actions
So, what do we do about it? Here’s what I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Take them to prayer. We can only understand an issue if we identify it. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • What are the things that you idolize in your life? What do you spend most of your time and money on?
    • Why do you spend your time (and money) this way? Not the surface answer, but truly “why”?
    • Do these things bring you true happiness…peace, joy, and fulfillment?
    • What do you think is missing in your life?
  • Whenever you’re doing whatever you’re doing, always ask yourself “why”? Why are you doing them? Is it going to make you happy long-term, or will it be fleeting?
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #6 when we talk about Life’s Tragedies. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

Categories
Weekly Blog

Week 4# – Fear

This is the 4th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #4, on Fear. So, here are some questions to consider:

  • Separate from your phobias, i.e. snakes, spiders, heights, what are your fears? Examples are right below.
  • What has the impact been on your life? What have these fears prevented you from doing?

Depending on the resources you look to, the list of most common fears can vary. When writing my book, Overwhelming Pursuit: Stop Chasing Your Life and Live, the list that rang most true to me included:

  • Ridicule
  • Rejection
  • Conflict or Confrontation
  • Unknown (Uncertainty)
  • Loneliness

Having recited the above when giving talks, I always ask the audience which of the most prevalent fears is not among the list. Someone invariably answers….FAILURE.
Why are we so fearful of failure?

  • Being rejected
  • Not being liked, being loved
  • Not being good enough
  • Failure itself – what it says about us

Fear impedes progress in our lives. Think about it. Because of fear, you don’t do things or do them differently than you otherwise would. Therefore, the results you achieve, both good and bad, are different than if you didn’t have the fear. Without the fear, your lessons learned, your progress would be different, arguably better.

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels 

I have a plaque on my desk that reads, “What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?” Think about that for a minute. How would your life be different? I know mine would. How about yours’?

The irony here is that our true friends and those in our family who truly love us will support us no matter what. So will God the Father, who loves us unconditionally, and His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, dare I say our faults and our failings.

It says 365 times in Scripture some derivative of “be not afraid”. God clearly doesn’t want us to live in fear. Yet most of us live with fears, including the list above, and especially (in most cases) the fear of failure. It used to be true in my life. I thank God for the journey He took me on, which will be shared as we move through these lessons.

Suggested Actions

Acknowledging that there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, I’m going to give you a couple things that helped me with this idea of fear:

I would suggest

  • Think about the following questions. Take them to prayer. We can only understand an issue if we identify it. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • Make a list of the top three factors in your life that cause you the most fear.
    • Looking at your list, where do these fears come from? Are they rooted in reality?
    • If not (which is most often the case), what’s the truth in each of these situations?
    • Start to speak that truth in your life, whether that’s through writing something down and sticking it on your bathroom mirror or developing a mantra you can repeat to yourself throughout the day.
  • Sometimes the only way to overcome a fear is by performing the opposite action. Is there a fear you can face down by doing (even if in a very small way) the very thing you’re afraid of? See how you perform…you’ll probably be surprised.
  • During your morning prayer routine this week, offer your fears up to the Lord (discard them, give them to Him), basking in His love and internalizing your true worth. Replace those fears with phrases like “be not afraid” and “I can do all things through Christ”, both from Scripture.
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #5 when we talk about false gods and false happiness. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment