Tag: Greatness

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Week #7 – Wounds and Resentments

This is the 7th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #7, on our wounds and the resentments they create. So, here are some questions to consider:

  • Have you ever been hurt by someone in your life?
  • Have you experienced tragedy, that has left you wounded?
  • If either of the two above, how has it impacted your life?

As discussed last week, tragedy is universal. It happens to all of us. The same is true for people hurting us. We’re all sinners. Sometimes it’s done with malice. Most often not, but the pain is none the less.

If hurts or wounds stay with us long enough, they become personal. If personal long enough, we often build up resentments. Have you ever heard the expression, “resenting someone is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die”? It doesn’t work. Believe me. I’ve tried…it doesn’t work.

Here’s the thing….when I harbor resentment, the only person it really hurts is me. Even if the other person knows of the situation and feels its repercussions, the impact pales in comparison to the impact on me.

My Wounds and Resentments

For quite a while, I was overwhelmed by my wounds and resentments, almost in disbelief that these seeming “injustices” could have happened to me.

  • My first wife’s long struggle with alcoholism
  • The dramatic impact the addiction had on our family
  • The loss of my business
Photo by Matthias Zomer from Pexels

I experienced a range of emotions — sadness, despair, doubt, fear — and I remember being angry and bitter almost on a constant basis. It was real. It was penetrating. And it hurt. I felt very isolated, embarrassed to share the details with anyone. It was the most depressing time of my life.

Solving for the Pain

There is at least partial truth to the saying that time heals all wounds. It was true for me. As time went on, the pain did diminish, and healing did begin to set in. That said, time alone would not have moved me past my many hurts.

It was critical that I take ownership of my role in each of the painful circumstances, recognizing that I bore real responsibility for what had happened to me. And that difficult realization took time. My old wounds of low self-esteem and low self-worth added to the pain of these wounds and fostered a lot of resentment. It wasn’t until I started the challenging process of fixing myself, and yes, forgiving myself, that I could humbly acknowledge my role in my circumstances.

Suggested Actions

So, what do we do about it? As indicated, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including overcoming your wounds and resentments. That said, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • What was your role in what took place?
    • Were there lessons learned that you can take into other circumstances?
    • Beginning to understand that everything takes place for a reason, is there an element of gratitude you can find in what transpired?
  • During your morning prayer routine this week:
    • In meditating on what occurred, try to forgive the other person, recognizing that resentment only hurts you.
    • Try to forgive yourself too, mindful of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness for you
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #8 when we talk about DISCOVERING GOD’S LOVE. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Week #2 – Having to Earn the Love of Others

This is the 2nd of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #2, Having to Earn the Love of Others. So here are some questions to consider:

  • When growing up, do you remember times when performing well made you feel more loved?
  • Or how about when you failed at something or perceived that you failed, did you feel less loved?
  • Although you don’t do it intentionally (none of us do), do you treat people differently based on their performance, i.e. your kids, coworkers

The most glaring example of this issue in my life was winning the high school football championship my senior year. No matter where my teammates and I went, we were treated like heroes, like gods. Regardless of whether it was the school administration, our teachers, and classmates, or family…parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, the media, friends outside of school, or the broader community…we were celebrated for our successes individually and collectively.

Having come from an incredibly loving home, the above made me feel more loved based on my success, us winning. Think about it in your own life. Based on my research, I’m quite sure you’ve experienced it.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

No Malice Intended

It’s not done intentionally or with malice. Most of us had good upbringings. That said, most also grow up believing, based on our lived experiences, that we have to excel to be loved. Stated another way, we fear that if we don’t perform well, we won’t be loved. And at a fundamental level, we all want to be loved; we all want to be accepted.

As we’re going to learn in future lessons, believing that we have to earn the love of others isn’t a good thing. It drives behaviors related to our own self-development, in addition to the way we treat others, that aren’t healthy. 

Suggested Actions

As indicated, there are no “quick” fixes to anything in life, including feeling the need to earn the love of others. That said, as we move through these 14 lessons, I’m going to give you things that helped me in my life.

Specific to this lesson, I would suggest:

  • Think about the following questions. Take them to prayer. Reference Daily Dialogue with God at this past blog for guidance. We can only understand an issue if we identify it. Ponder (think/pray) the following:
    • How did “earning the love of others” occur in your life?
    • How are you seeing it occur in others’ lives?
    • What do you think the impact was then?
    • How has what occurred then impacted you now?
  • We need to learn to separate our role (carpenter, banker, electrician, dietician, teacher) from our identity (loved children of God). Think and pray about the following:
    • God does not call us because we are worthy, but because we are wanted.
    • God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called.
    • St. Augustine wrote, “God loves each of us as if there was only one of us to be loved”.
  • During your morning prayer routine (from last week), in addition to taking your worries and stresses to the Lord, asking for His peace, also bask in His love. You can meditate on each of the phrases just above, in addition to “I am a loved child of God”.
  • Watch this Friday’s video on this same subject….it will be emailed to you.

Please join us next Wednesday for Week #3 when we talk about lack of self-love. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

 

Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed
Week #2 – Earning the love of others
Week #3 – Lack of self-love
Week #4 – Fear
Week #5 – False gods, False happiness
Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies
Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments

Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love
Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing
Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You
Week #11 – Path to Peace
Week #12 – Finding your Purpose
Week #13 – You were made for Greatness
Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment

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Weekly Blog

What Does the NFL Draft Have to do with Easter Sunday?

Prior to the inaugural National Football League (NFL) draft in 1936, players were free to sign with any club, which made the stronger teams even stronger and created much disparity. On May 19th, 1935, the league owners adopted a plan for a college player draft. Proposed by Bert Bell, the Eagles owner and future NFL commissioner, the plan called for teams to select players in inverse order of their finish the previous season.

Starting with 9 rounds in 1936, it expanded to 10 and eventually 20, before being reduced back down to 12 rounds, which it has today. In massively meeting its objective of parity between teams, it was adopted by all the other leagues, i.e. MLB, NHL, NBA, changing sports universally. For the NFL, it’s become a HUGE event, with literally millions tuning in every year.

Image by the Post Gazette

NFL teams over the years have built their success on the draft and the great picks they’ve made, whether it be San Francisco in the 80s, Dallas in the 90s, or numerous other teams during the league’s history. Without question, the first to do it with such great success was the Pittsburgh Steelers, under coach Chuck Noll. Before free agency, the dynasty that won four Super Bowls in the 70s, did it entirely on the strength of the draft, with Hall of Famers from the first round that include Terry Bradshaw, Joe Greene, Franco Harris, and Lynn Swann. Add to the list other Steeler Hall of Famers from the 70s…Stallworth, Webster, Ham, Lambert, Blount, and Shell.

Forgive me for this walk down memory lane, but growing up in Pittsburgh, in the 70s was a special time for Steeler fans. It was incredible to be part of it Sunday after Sunday, Super Bowl after Super Bowl.

So what is it about the NFL Draft, that will take place between tomorrow, April 23rd, and Saturday, April 25th that reminds me of Easter? I think the answer is “hope”. Think about it. Regardless of the team you root for, no matter the sport, when it comes to the annual draft, you anxiously wait, or at least are interested in, who the first several picks will be. Particularly when it comes to your team, you wonder what impact the player is going to have. You’re hopeful that it will be positive and significantly so. You have hope for the future (of your team), yet there is still the unknown. Will the draft choice develop into a star? Will the team perform well?

Image by DesignPics

I hope (no pun intended) you don’t think poorly of me because of this analogy, but I think the above relates to Easter Sunday. Jesus’ resurrection gives us hope. Knowing how Jesus had to love us to die on the Cross, gives us hope. Our faith gives us hope. Although we “know” the end of the story, that we won, that Jesus promises us salvation, there’s still the unknown. Although we have hope, we have questions like:

  • Will I go to Heaven? How do I get there?
  • What type of life am I to live on earth?
  • What’s my purpose? My call?

In short, it’s up to you. Ironically, you can gain salvation by living Heaven here on earth. That’s done by loving God, loving your neighbor, embracing your God given purpose, and following God’s will….which is the ONLY path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment.

So like with the NFL draft, where we have hope yet uncertainties, the same is true in knowing that Jesus rose from the dead. Unlike the draft though, when it comes to Jesus’ Resurrection and its impact on your life, it’s all up to you.

As always, feel free to contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with comments, questions, or concerns.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!

Mark Joseph

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Weekly Blog

Saul to Paul…Three Things that Apply to Us

How many people do you know who are always beating themselves up, believing that they’re not worthy? Maybe you would include yourself among those you’re thinking of. Interestingly, it’s most of us…being hyper-critical of ourselves, always second guessing, thinking that the other guy or girl has it figured out.

The above was me for the longest time. Seemingly confident from the outside, I was a wreck on the inside, always beating myself up, profoundly experiencing a total lack of self-love.

I was at Saturday morning Mass on January 25, 2020, which was the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, the Apostle. I love the story of Saul becoming Paul, Acts 9:1-22. Saul was a sinner among sinners. His profession, pre-conversion, was to kill Christians. He was notorious. He was evil. Yet Jesus picked him.

Painting by Valentin de Boulogne, distributed under a CC-BY 2.0 license.

After blinding Saul, Jesus picked Ananias to go speak to him. When Ananias questioned Jesus, given Saul’s known terror, Jesus responded in verses 9:15-16,  “Go, for this one is an instrument chosen by me to convey my name before nations and kings and the sons of Israel. I will reveal to him how much he must suffer on behalf of my name.”

Jesus isn’t just talking to Ananias and by extension Saul, but He’s speaking to you and me. It doesn’t matter what any of us have ever done. Jesus makes the same invitation to all of us.

I love the fact that Jesus picked 2 of 3 of the biggest sinners (Judas wasn’t one of them) in His world, to build the Church. After denying Jesus 3 times, in Matthew 16:18, Jesus said, “you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it”. In Saul, who became Paul, we have the most prolific Apostle there was, authoring over half of the New Testament.

Critical to both and critical to you and me is the following three things:

  1. Acknowledging the voice of the Lord – not just hearing His invitation (He’s inviting us all the time), but taking heed to it, seeking where that invitation takes us.
  2. Engaging in conversion – many times it doesn’t just happen. Often we need to want it…and there are things we can do to get there (page 71 of my book).
  3. Becoming convicted in pursuing our God given purpose – all designed with special and unique talents, we each have a very specific purpose. We need to recognize that purpose and pursue it with vigor.

Related to #3, you don’t have leave the secular world to follow God’s Will. You don’t have to be in ministry to do ministry. You do need (if I can be so bold) the same exchanged life as Peter and Paul.

Don’t get me wrong. Most of us aren’t going to be Peter or Paul. We won’t be speaking to the masses, nor having the impact that they did. Here’s the thing, God’s not calling you to be Peter or Paul, or Mother Theresa, Pope Saint John Paul, or Jesus Himself. God is calling you to be you.

The point of this blog is that God loves you more than you’ll ever know, no matter what you’ve ever done. We’ve all been at that place, believing that we’re not worthy. Here’s some news…the Church is a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for Saints.

And here’s the further point, THE ONLY WAY to live a life of Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment is to answer Jesus’ call, like Paul and Peter, and do 1-3 above.

Question – what’s the thing you can’t get over? Love to hear from you. Love to help. Please contact me at Mark@MarkJosephMinistries.com with the answer to that question, comments, questions, or concerns.

God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!!

Mark Joseph