All of us want to live good lives. We want to experience success (which means different things to different people), be happy, and feel loved. Often missing the mark, year-end is a great time to refocus. Advent is a time of preparing, when God becomes man in the form of the vulnerable little baby Jesus. A period of hope, of celebration, Christmas leads to the New Year, a time to plan anew, learning from the past, but leaving it for a better, brighter future.
Three lessons central to my lived experience:
In understanding the unconditional love of Jesus, the unimaginable is achievable
There’s a path to peace, joy, and fulfillment
God made us for Greatness
Although all are integral to our faith, we never hear anything about them, including in Church. I’d suggest that if more people knew the truth of the above, Masses would be standing room only. Parishes would once again be the center of family life, like they were years ago.
So leaving this year and going into next, I’m going to share how we achieve the above three things. I’m going to do so predominantly with “story”, from my life and others. Stories resonate with people. We learn from our own individual stories. And the stories of others…that’s my prayer with this series.
The Problem
Let’s frame the problem…most of us don’t know how to achieve the three points above. We pursue prominence, possessions, pleasure, and fulfillment in our personal relationships, thinking these things will satisfy us. Probably not unlike you, I fully bought into these false answers for years, working very hard to succeed. Then tragedy struck, and I lost my family as I knew it, as well as the business I had spent so many years building.
In hindsight, I was overwhelmed when things seemed to be going well, as I was when things got really bad. It just felt different. During the good times, it was all about the pace: running, running, running. There was always too much to do and never enough hours in the day. It was overwhelming, but because I felt like I was in control, it didn’t seem like it. In fact, I was energized by it. In the bad times, I was exhausted, deflated, frustrated, and very aware of just how overwhelmed I truly was.
When my life reached the point of crisis, I began to learn the lessons that have benefited me beyond belief. As I have learned how to remove the shackles that the world puts on us, I have been blessed with profound peace, joy, and fulfillment.
Before we can address any issue, we first need to understand it, so the first 5-6 blogs will look at why we are the way we are and how we got here. The second 5-6 will lay out the path the Lord took me on, to resolve our issues, positioning us to live lives of peace, joy, and fulfillment.
It is my hope that this blog series will serve as a resource to you, that it will help you find relief from whatever life circumstances are overwhelming you. I pray that it will allow you to see yourself as you are: a person worthy of love precisely because you exist, and not for what you achieve. I hope that the principles I lay out will do for you what they did for me, setting you on the path to finding your life’s purpose. Because whether you’re aware of it or not, you were made for greatness.
As always, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] with questions, comments, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.
God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Related to how you might define living a great life, what are the three characteristics that would be most important to you? Assuming that you’re a reader of my book, Overwhelming Pursuit: Stop Chasing Your Life and Live, my blog, or website you won’t be surprised when I say that for me they include:
Peace
Joy
Fulfillment
Those would be my big three. Why so? Let’s look at each based on Thesaurus.com.
Peace
Antonyms
Disagreement
Hate
Discord
Agitation
Disharmony
Distress
Fighting
Frustration
Worry
Synonyms
Accord
Friendship
Love
Reconciliation
Unity
Joy
Antonyms
Depression
Misery
Sadness
Sorrow
Unhappiness
Discouragement
Synonyms
Amusement
Bliss
Charm
Cheer
Comfort
Delight
Elation
Humor
Satisfaction
Wonder
Fulfillment
Antonyms
Dissatisfaction
Failure
Forfeit
Disappointment
Frustration
Unfulfillment
Synonyms
Achievement
Attainment
Contentment
Gratification
Perfection
Realization
I think it’s that simple. Do you want Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment as defined by the above synonyms or the opposite as indicated by the antonyms?
I know what I want and I know how to get it…which I share in my book, my blog, and on my website. If you want more information on how to get there, please contact me at [email protected]. Please also feel free to send me your comments, questions, concerns, challenges, or prayer requests.
God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
This is the 11th of our 14-week program, where we provide Lesson #11, The Path to Peace. Some questions to consider as we kick this off:
Do you have a sense of peace in your life?
In reflecting on this program to date, what’s stealing your peace?
Who’s stealing your peace?
When you boil it down, my thesis (sounds so official…ha, ha) is that being overwhelmed doesn’t allow us to experience the peace, joy, or fulfillment that God intended for us. I’ve shared the life lessons that have allowed me to go from there to here….by God’s grace.
My experience indicates that a full life, an impactful life, the life all of us really yearn for, includes all three…peace, joy, and fulfillment. That said, it all starts with peace.
Several years ago, in a moment of unconscious competence (they ring as true today as they did then), I defined the Path to Peace as Surrender, Gratitude, Humility, and Love. Although the sequence isn’t absolute, my experience would indicate that there’s something to it. Let’s explore each individually.
1) Surrender First, we cannot control life, no matter how much we try. Many might think that isn’t true. With a good plan and solid people around you, it’s possible to control things. Sure, when it comes to planned events, we have a certain amount of control, as long as we allow for contingencies, but even then, things don’t always go perfectly. In fact, most of life is beyond our control. Other people and their choices and behavior are beyond our control. Tragic events, disease, accidents — these things are all way outside the scope of our control.
Second, we have God, who loves us more than we can imagine, who wants to see us happy, who designed us for a specific purpose, uniquely and individually, who knows best for us — the God who made us for greatness.
So why not surrender to the God of the universe, who is all-powerful, almighty, and all-loving? Instead of conceiving of something on my own, relying on myself to get it done, and then facing the consequences alone, I can choose to follow God’s will, discerning what He wants for my life and particular situations, and relying on Him for whatever happens. I use my unique and God-given gifts to do my very best, leaving everything up to Him and understanding that everything in life is part of His grand plan. As long as I know his love, it just doesn’t matter what others think. All of this takes the pressure off of me…..a big win!!!
2) Gratitude Be thankful. As important, believe that everything happens for a reason, that there are no coincidences in life. It’s true. Everything is part of God’s grand plan. So, live in a place of gratitude; be grateful for everything that happens, even the crises you experience.
God wants only the very best for us. We can trust that absolutely, regardless of life’s obstacles and challenges. Surrender teaches us to let go of the need to have things our way. Gratitude allows us to look past any short-term pain and be grateful for what God wants to do with it for our good.
Gratitude isn’t just good for the soul, it’s good for the body, too. Experts have indicated the benefits to living a life of gratitude, including being happier, healthier, more optimistic, more spiritual, a better friend, a better boss, etc. A true “attitude of gratitude” is one that allows us to see the hand of God in all things and trust that everything will turn out for our best.
3) Humility Humility is the opposite of ego, which we previously defined as our false self, the identity that we create that is often very far from the truth of who we are. The truly humble person lives from the truth of who he is and can step back from the chaos of trying to prove himself to others.
A humble person has a sense of self-worth, believes in himself, even loves himself, and doesn’t live in fear. Humility has much to do with self-love. This is because humility helps us know exactly who we are, with all of our weaknesses, yes, and even more with all of our strengths given to us by God. Those who have a healthy self-love, who are humble, have no need to look down on anyone, nor do they look up to anyone except Jesus Christ. We were all created by the same God, with the same perfection, in his image and likeness. To God, we are all “10s”.
A humble person is genuinely happy for others in their successes. He is accepting of others’ ideas and thoughts (accepting doesn’t mean always agreeing), always very willing to engage in dialogue and even friendly debate. The humble person doesn’t always have to be right, doesn’t always have to be in control, doesn’t always have to win. Humility allows us to accept others for who they are, rather than judging them or trying to change them.
Humility means accepting and loving others unconditionally. This does not mean we shouldn’t discern right from wrong, but we must never condemn others. Being humble is understanding that it is only in God working through us that we can perform or achieve anything worthwhile. It is his doing, not ours.
BTW, this isn’t easy stuff. On this journey now for a while, my biggest challenge is humility. It’s that old sin of “pride” that keeps creeping up on me. We’re all a work in process.
4) Love The final step (and the ultimate goal of this journey) is love. Above all else, we are called to love. Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, second only to loving God with our whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. We need to love. When we fail to love, we leave those around us empty, and we are empty, too. Yet we certainly can’t love others if we can’t accept them, if we’re always competing with them or judging them. We can’t love them if we always have to be right or always have to be on top.
Without relationships, life is meaningless. True relationship is impossible without love. To love, we need to be vulnerable; we need to trust; we need to care. Having gratitude for the people in our lives is vital to loving them. And gratitude brings joy, which is also essential to love.
As I have learned since my conversion, you cannot truly love others unless you first love yourself. It can be a slow journey, but practicing surrender, gratitude, and humility strengthens and confirms us in who we are, which opens us up to loving ourselves and others.
Suggested Actions This blog has been longer than most in this series. As such, let’s wait till this Friday’s video, where I’ll share suggested actions you can take to get on and stay on the Path to Peace. Please join us next Wednesday for Week #12 when we talk about Finding Your Purpose. As always, please feel free to get to me with questions, comments, or concerns at [email protected].
God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Mark Joseph
Week #1 – Being Overwhelmed Week #2 – Earning the love of others Week #3 – Lack of self-love Week #4 – Fear Week #5 – False gods, False happiness Week #6 – Life’s Tragedies Week #7 – Wounds, Resentments
Week #8 – Discovering God’s Love Week #9 – Forgiveness and healing Week #10 – Becoming the best Possible You Week #11 – Path to Peace Week #12 – Finding your Purpose Week #13 – You were made for Greatness Week #14 – True Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment
