Do you ever feel like it all relies on you? You feel all this pressure, believing that if you don’t perform that it’s not going to get done? That without your efforts alone, failure is right around the corner. All is doomed. It’s you or nothing.
I know that in my past, prior to me experiencing conversion and being on this spiritual journey, I felt like that most of the time. It was especially true for my business life, but to be honest it’s the feeling I had in other aspects of my life too. Unknowingly, I was playing the “savior”.
Having matured in my faith and having a greater reliance on God, I thought that I had escaped the above. Then recently, through some “spiritual coaching”, I discovered the opposite…I’m still playing the savior. Maybe not in the same way as before, but my behavior would indicate that I still believe it’s all up to me.
Some things from my notes from that coaching:
- I need to work at a pace that is healthy and trusting in God, so I can stay in His peace.
- I need to surrender it all to Him and stop playing savior; it’s more than I can carry.
- Intercessory prayer is more important than human effort; it’s only God who can change hearts.
- The primary agent is God; need to turn all over to Him.
- Need to say/pray, “Lord, I’m trusting in You”.
- There’s a difference between doing something “with” the Lord and “for” the Lord. He wants to work with us.
- If it’s going to be saved, it will be by God and not me.
In a recent blog I wrote, “pray as though everything depends on God; act (work) as though everything depends on you”…often attributed to St. Ignatius and St. Augustine. I like this quote because I think it speaks to the reality of our lives as Christians. Having made us very uniquely and perfectly, God calls on us to use our God given gifts to the best of our ability…but then leave the rest to Him.
Doing the above is surrender, which we’re reminded of in one of the first prayers we learn, the Our Father, “Thy will be done”. I think that’s my hang-up here. There’s a big difference between surrender and SURRENDER…in all we do. I’ve been talking about all of this for several years now. Truly living it is another thing. Simple, it’s certainly not easy.
I’ve said before that surrender first requires absolute trust, knowing that God loves me unconditionally, that Jesus would have still died that same torturous death if it were only me on this earth. God made me with unique gifts and talents and put me on this earth for a specific purpose, all according to His grand plan, individually and as part of all of humanity. He wants me to be happy and fulfilled. Even with life’s challenges, God’s given me the ability to live in peace and joy. Lastly, the Holy Spirit lives within me.
These things are true for all of us. And it’s only in understanding and internalizing them as truth that we can come to this place of surrender. I think I have when it comes to those things that require small “s” surrender. But those BIG “S” SURRENDER things. They’re something different.
Humility is a part of it, understanding that it’s not really us doing the work, but Him working through us. Connecting it to gratitude, we’re then free to not feel the pressure of the outcome, but leave that instead to God…knowing that all happens for a reason, according to His grand plan.
We only have one Savior, that’s Jesus Christ. It’s not me and it’s not you. Jesus is our Lord and Savior. I pray that I continue to grow in faith, becoming holier, and living a life of surrender, gratitude, humility, and love. It’s a journey for all of us. I pray you do the same.
As always, please email me at [email protected] with questions, concerns, comments, or prayer requests.
God Bless you on your Path to Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!!!
Remember…God made you for Greatness!!!
Mark Joseph